One of the many unique things about Farid, the subject of this video, is his openness about his impotency. He was diagnosed within the first few months of his marriage. In other households, the issue would be hushed up and the woman would often be blamed for this state of affairs, allowing the man to hastily divorce or take another wife. Not so with Farid. He chose to tackle the issue head-on.
The subject of male impotency is rarely, if ever, discussed in the Middle East. The taboo operates on many different levels: it challenges the roles of men as all-powerful providers, of women as passive child-bearers, and of children as the sole purpose of wedlock.
This video looks at Farid’s long, painful and at times extraordinary journey to find a cure. Farid has tried everything from Western-style medicine in Pakistan to more traditional and esoteric forms of Islamic healing that are fused with older, Shamanic beliefs. This later cure involves the laying on of hands and recitation of verses from the Koran, along with the use of ritual objects and tokens (resembling some Christian faith-based cures). “I’m not ashamed about this problem that I have,” said Farid, a guard at Western NGO in Kabul, where I met him. “It’s God’s will that I have this, and it will be by God’s grace that I find a cure.”
Farid is also driven by a desire to keep his wife of the past four years, whom he says he loves dearly. The flip side of male domination in the Muslim world is that if he cannot perform his conjugal duties, and the wife succeeds in publicizing this fact, he will face a humiliating divorce. Farid has pre-empted that possiblity through his openness about the problem, but if he doesn’t find a suitable solution, his wife will face tremendous pressure from her family to leave him and find a husband who can provide her with children.
If that happens – inevitable, according to Farid – the best he can hope for is to marry a widow and raise her children. “But I haven’t given hope just yet of having [my own] children,” he says.
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Comments (22)
well,islam does not allow adoption that is you or your husband are not allowed to give your name to the child but you can certainly be more like a foster family to the child by providing a loving n caring atmosphere n also taking care of his needs.
March 22, 2008 12:00 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 22, 2008 12:00
Why would anybody vote for McCain? See this video that Iran released and tell me who won the 2003 Iraq war?
http://irannegah.com/Video.aspx?id=506
I'll tell you who won, Ahmadinejad! And yet McCain wants to stay in Iraq for another 100 years!!!!!
March 15, 2008 12:30 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 15, 2008 12:30
What is 'AlCis,Is it safe?
March 14, 2008 9:48 AM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 14, 2008 09:48
The question that is not explicitly answered is whether he has a low sperm count or whether he cannot deliver the sperm. It is possible for a man to be able to penetrate without being able to ejaculate. Then the answer is to deliver the sperm into a separate (sterile, of course) container, then for the sperm to be inserted into his wife artificially. I suppose there are all sorts of Muslim taboos against anyone but the husband doing this, but would a woman gynocologist (if there are any allowed in that country) be allowed to perform the insertion procedure?
The Hindus would take this a sign that the couple should live together as celibate devotees of God.
March 13, 2008 4:20 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 16:20
This doesn't surprise me at all. If you read both testaments of the Bible and believe them lock, stock and barrel, you'd conclude that only women are infertile - Sarah, Elizabeth, etc. God (or His unfaithful scribes) forbid that a man should ever shoot blanks.
Bravo to Farid for staring down dogma with truth, and willful ignorance with courage! The man is seedless but hardly impotent. Such as he are the real hope of the Middle East and Islam.
March 13, 2008 4:07 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 16:07
I have to give him credit. He is only human and can only do what Allah, God, (heck, the list of names gos on) will allow him.
March 13, 2008 3:35 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 15:35
Excuse the insensitivity on the part of some in respons to the painful things others encounter. It took great courage to share a problem so private, especially when going against tradition. One thing I must commend is his faith. I don't know much about the Islamic faith, but as a Christian, I think we share the heritage of Abraham ... whose wife Sarah conceived in spite of conventional and medical wisdom. Farid, is there anything too dificult for our God who is the same yesterday, today and forever.
March 13, 2008 3:07 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 15:07
Farid should contact Elliot Spitzer, he's not doing anything at the moment.
The wife could have a kid and Farid would have some spending money.
But, whatever happens, don't come here.
March 13, 2008 2:29 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 14:29
so what is the point with this documentary. He is sick, and I wish him to heal. Millions of people around the world are sick. I may be sick too....
March 13, 2008 2:17 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 14:17
Reaisticaly speaking, it would be better for the world's skyrocketing population if more men were sterile -- and "sterile" is a better word for it than "impotent" which implies "powerlessness" or "lack of manliness" -- pejoratives in East and West alike. What is this thing about power over others, anyway? Look where it takes us.
March 13, 2008 1:59 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 13:59
viagara?
March 13, 2008 1:48 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 13:48
viagara?
March 13, 2008 1:48 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 13:48
Does anyone know if Afgani law or Muslim law (Sharia) allow adoption? This couple could stay together by adopting children who lost their parents -- surely, there must be kids without parents looking for a place to live in that country, and who don't have any other relatives to live with. I understand that the tradition might require their close family to take them, but the question still remains -- is adoption an accepted process there?
March 13, 2008 1:27 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 13:27
Islamic Law (Sharia) states that Muslims can adopt children, if they can procreate or not. There are certain rules that the couple must abide by when adopting, of course. For example, if the couple is jobless and homeless then the answer would be no cause they cannot provide for the child, I believe. The Holy Quran has a whole chapter on Orphans, their treatment, rights and their importance. I think it is more cultural issues of not adpoting than religious.
March 13, 2008 1:23 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 13:23
Does anyone know if Afgani law or Muslim law (Sharia) allow adoption? This couple could stay together by adopting children who lost their parents -- surely, there must be kids without parents looking for a place to live in that country!
March 13, 2008 1:13 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 13:13
We hear reports about children loosing their parents in war torn countries. Is it not an option for them to adopt a child or children? The kids would get a loving couple to be their parents and the couple gets to stay together. Anyone knows if there are provisions for that in Afghani law?
March 13, 2008 1:10 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 13:10
Can anyone tell me what the relation between impotency and infertility is? I thought that the two things were not necessarily related.
Farid has taken the right path to getting help, I wish him well… He just needs to use the most important part of his resources on modern medicine. He needs to see a specialist. Remember that nowadays even some modern doctors have their own way of doing “voodoo” on their patients (clients?); they try to treat something that they have not received proper training for, just for the money…
March 13, 2008 1:02 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 13:02
I wish there were more acticles about Muslims living in OTHER countries, other than Afghanistan. The US, England, Indonesia, Ethiopia, Iran, China, India, just to name a few, would be great to learn about.
March 13, 2008 12:51 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 12:51
More medical (physiological) accuracy is needed here. Does he have E.D., hypogonadism, psychological stress build-up or what? Impotence is like saying someone is having a 'nervous breakdown', it's purely layman language. Men who suffer hypogonadism -many- have a great pharmacological solution, synthetic testosterone! It works WONDERS!!!! :-)
March 13, 2008 12:44 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 12:44
Can anyone tell me what the relation between impotency and infertility is? I taught that the two things were not necessarily related.
Farid has taken the right path to getting help, I wish him well…
March 13, 2008 12:42 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 12:42
Is he impotent, or is he infertile? Can he not get an erection, or does he not have viable sperm?
His treatments so far have been mostly voodoo. And if the Post doesn't know the difference between two simple health-care terms, your thinking is lazy too.
March 13, 2008 12:36 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 12:36
I applaud Farid for being willing to both publicize this quiet fact of human life, and that he does not blame his wife, as so often mankind has done. My ex & I dealt w/ 3 yrs of infertility - it was very stressful & depressing.
I hope that his quest is successful. I feel for both him and his wife; breaking a love-match for society cannot be easy.
March 13, 2008 12:22 PM | Report Offensive Comment
Posted on March 13, 2008 12:22