But I think the idea that girls -- anywhere -- are "overly sexualized" is a little bit dated, even though it is a common view of the moralists. Much as some of us might hate it, the context of sex is changing in most of the world. Many years ago when it was considered that only a married woman -- less so man -- was virtuous, and where forming a family was one’s highest social calling, monogamous sex -- in amounts approved by your church -- made sense.

As more and women choose not to marry or to have children, the function of sex -- and the value of abstinence -- cannot remain the same. It can only become some form of recreation because pregnancy and motherhood are hardly in the picture. There is less concern about whether a mate will be a good father. Likewise, abstinence is less a statement about most people's religion, as it is about their politics.

East African girls' attitudes toward sex are being shaped as much by a changing world, as it is by local social dynamics.

The debate about how much slim and light-skinned are "African" has been around longer than the more recent angst about sexuality. The conventional view is that western media and film spawned the idea that light-skin and slim are beautiful, while dark skin and full, rounded hips aren’t.

But again, in one respect this was in the past when black women weren't depicted in popular culture except as nannies and house help. Today, the most popular western soaps and sitcoms in East Africa depict black women -- “Eve”, “Friends”, you name it.

The appearance of glamorous black women has reduced a lot of the anxiety some African women had about their own dark skin, but hasn't eliminated it.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that the trend toward skin lightening has leveled out. However, it has also taken on class dimensions. Middle class girls and women are far less likely to lighten their skin today than 20 years ago, mostly because it doesn't open any important doors. Also, they are better educated, and a more progressive attitude allows them to make their way through work and life unencumbered by many of the prejudices their mothers faced.

Secondly, the seeming popularity of light-skinned and slim women was always undercut by the duality of African society in general. While many men would want to be seen in public with light-skinned and slim women, very few of them went on to marry them.

But while many East Africans didn't want to marry thin women, one of the main reasons many of them cite for losing interest in their wives after a few years of marriage is that they had grown "too fat".

A filled out wife brings social glory to a man. It is evidence that he is a serious fellow who can provide. And a pot-bellied man, unpleasant to the sporting eye as he might be, is nevertheless looked upon favorably by his in-laws and family. It is proof that his wife is "good", an able home maker.

Therefore struggling to lose weight and to lighten skin happens in the desperation zone: a place where women go to try and salvage their marriages and relationships. Add to that the fact that if you went to a club in Nairobi or Kampala, most women who have lightened their skins would be prostitutes, and you have a serious image problem for white and slim.

So many Africans are trapped in this limbo, where nearly all of what they see in most magazines and their television screens is a world where it is thin women who are fashionable and desirable, and the real one they live in where mainstream worships ebony and plump.

My reading? Plump is still in.