I am inspired by today’s edition of The Washington Post and its story about lobotomy. Lobbyotomists are essentially the same kind of practitioners as modern day lobotomists. They endeavor to work the brains of politicians and the general public to dispense policy or spread rumors. They tend to think that they have succeeded if leaders quip a one-liner or “rules” on the lives of a large number of people.
Lobbyotomists often drill in the minds of politicians, if only to mine their gray matter and divert them to absurd steps or undignified comments. It is only World War Three, so what’s the big deal?
We are all waiting to see if the Lobbyotomists can succeed in installing The Decidress, a female Decider, or perhaps a female Decider Aspirant in distress and tears, to decree something in front of microphones and cameras that are connected to infotainment shows about policygrams crafted in Hollywood-style studios for live consumption around the globage (the former name for the global village). The fate of the world will be telegraphed, in English, in about two and a half minutes. Never mind that Chalnobyl (Iraq’s version of Chernobyl, courtesy of a man named Chalabi) will cost the blood of thousands and their trillions of cash.
This is all when there is no meaningful discussion about pastagflation, the 50% jump in price of pasta in Itlay’s stagflationary environment. Could this be due to envirowarming or a just a global warning?
This dilemma pushed me to call an investment banker in New York. The assistary, once known as the assistant or the secretary, told me that he is not in the office and she did not know his whereabouts. He is either in Dubai, Mumbai or Shanghai. Perhaps the boss told him good-bye or that he is out there canvassing for cash and dialling for dollars to jump start the trimfund--a hedge fund, post the sub-prime haircuts on Wall Street.
She asked me whether every Iranian in Tehran has a nook-lee-ur centrifuge in their garage, like Americans have a SUV? I thought it is best to keep it plain and not go against the spin. So, I said yes, we are all a nation of 72 million nuclear physicists even though we are told that we have no need to learn. .... did you miss the spinner on that one by the Lobbyotomist? Astonishingly, she had not heard about the N.I.E. --an ellipsis for a Nasty Implied Epilogue on Middle East policy..... in distant past of December 2007.
So, with the investanker (an investment bank that has tanked) out flying the herdlines (air transport services that confuse customers with herds), I decided to refocus on the modern day Faust known as the Lobbyotomist. I wondered if they are the ones responsible for all those Viagra and Cilialis junk mail messages that clog up email programs around the world. And then the proverbial environcide light (you know, the old fashioned 19th-century technology that is bad for the environment) started glowing ever so brightly: it is all about electile dysfunction-- the inability to become excited over any of the choices put forth by either party in the 2008 election year!! Nevertheless, I am holding my breath until I see the comalysis (that comatose state of staring at) talking heads on TV shows and the opportunity to be told by the shepherd Lobbyotomist on how I should think!
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