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Yes, it is true to a point that children nowadays are encouraged by the image machines (TV, Internet, magazines) to grow up before their time. This has a lot to do with kids having so much access to information that just twenty years ago would have been a lot harder for them to grab and absorb. I also agree that in past times, women were objectified quite a bit in Western society, in particular so-called "light" or "fair-skinned" girls, which of course is just another way of saying white. However, it must also be noted that our society is a lot more inclusive than in the past, and there are a lot more examples in the media of women who are not the same color, just as there are many examples of women who do not rely on sex to excel for young girls to follow. Nancy Pelosi readily comes to mind. With that said, the response to some of the more feminist postings must be made. Despite what some women may think, all men are not depraved sexual monsters who stalk women, nor are we all hell bent on keeping women oppressed. Quite honestly, while I feel terrible for the unfortunate women out there who have been the victims of sexual assault, it is wrong and patently offensive the way some of these comments have been floated about on this site. If the feminists out there want to be respected, then they must also show it. It is high time, ladies, that you apologize for your blatant labeling of men as predators. It is time for you to give credit to all those single dads out there, to men who help their wives with domestic chores, to guys out there who work right along side women, and in some cases, even answer to them- all without treating them like objects. You also give no credence to those male athletes out there who also have to sacrifice their bodies in order to make a better life for themselves. Wake up girls--you are NOT the only victims. Men suffer, too. We also have, on average, five less years to live than you. Let's see you address that sexual inequality.
It is not just the over sexualized clothes- it is the attitudes that go hand in hand with them. I was shopping at Target in the juniors department they were selling a belly shirt with the slogan-
"I want,
You Buy,
Any Questions?"
This shirt came in the size 2T through XL tween. Not only are girls being trained to look like hookers, they are taught the business model for the trade as well. You wouldn't want a girl to think you can learn to read, write, do math and get a great job to buy what you want- just pout and beg men for scraps!
My ten year old daughter is "cafe au lait" in skin tone and she is far more bothered by her "belly" than by her color.
Every Black History month she asks questions about where people she knows would have to sit on the bus- she and her brother (back), mom and dad (front), friends (all over). However, to her the 50's and 60's is approximately a million years ago in the time of dinosaurs.
I realized our culture had dropped to a new low in sexualization when I recently Googled softball star Jennie Finch to get some photos of her championship pitching form for my students and found several shots of her wearing her winning smile and not much else. I had thought sports were creating a new generation of confident, talented young women who didn't have to take off their clothes to prove their worth, but I guess I was wrong and that's terribly discouraging. And good grief, Finch is a married mother. We are truly doomed to travel down the road of decadence toward the same fate as the Roman Empire.
i am so sickly tired of beauty ideals. i'm sick of the discussion, all the focus on it, and the anxiety it gives me. although i feel the subject has been overly discussed, there is no other way to fight it. even though everybody talks about how horrible it is all the time, it is necessary to keep talking. what i don't get is why the discussion has born no fruit. everyone says that you are beautiful the way you are, and still the pressure is just as tough to look good. i don't believe there will ever be one day on earth when looks don't matter.
I think this passionate debate has made many valid points, but it pays short shrift to one point - the juvenile sexual attitudes of Americans towards sex. When one goes to Europe and travels to England where tabloids have topless women, or Denmark where ponography is legalized (except child of course), or france, where Mediterranean beaches are topless or even nude we see countries that tolerate more public nudity or erotic material than Americans ever would. Yet, these countries are plaged with pre-teen sex pots, sexual predators, and hysterical denunciations of sexuality. Maybe the problem isn't too much sex. maybe the problem is too repressed or to explotative a view of sex. When normal erotic expression is labeled evil, when advertising conglomerates and the media are allowed to trivialize personal dynamics and physical expression. When sex is used to shock or sell. When sex is mixed with violence to intensify its pruient effect. When society maintains a large ambivalence toward the full participation of women in society. Then.. Then we have a society full of bluenoses, precocious pre-teens and commodified/trivialized sexual images. Add violence to this hormonal mix and you have a familiar result. Maybe we don't less sexuality - maybe we need more honest and adult and less violent sexuality. Let's learn from societies that have "more" sex and less dysfunction, shall we?
PS, I think the level of violence and violent imagery in American society is more of a clear and present danger. A hormonal teen with a AR-47 scares me more than a 17-year old at Victoria's Secret.
One could argue that a healthy person has a sense of self, a knowledge of who one is. But a human being is more than the body, it is also the mind and spirit. So if we, as a society, put extreme emphasis on the body alone, and lift up one type of body above all others, it would seem to me that the other two facets would lose importance. It will make for a shallow world, with little feeling and enlightenment.
Turn on your TV, and ask yourself if that is what you are witnessing.
This whole topic really goes to how immature men and women can be and how so many of both fail to grow up. The difference between boys and Real Men? Real Men, who confortable in their own skins, know that, for Real Women, "It is not what is between the thighs, but is what is behind the eyes" really defines a Real Women's sexuality. And thank God that there are still enough Real Women who recognize this principle. The other females are harmless fluff who may one day grow up and become Real Women or just remain girls. And the boys who chase after them will, unfortunely, often just remain boys all their born days!
I am just sickened by the evening TV shows, even the news shows such as DateLineNBC. The show where they capture "preditors of the children of the internet" is absolutely sickening. This show maybe should have aired once, maybe twice, but a weekly show? This surely was meant to WARN parents that their children are targets for sick perverts, but since seeing the show for a few times, I'm wondering just what is the purpose of the show. I feel like it was justified the first few times, yet now I feel like that the language used, the words actually written on the screen as to what the preditors said, and what the young girls responded to, are actually causing a lot of problems. Think about it...you have all these men watching this show, reading the chat room language, the perversion spoken, and I feel like the men may be actually "getting off" on this stuff, or at the very least, when they are with their spouse/girlfriend, they are "fantasizing". This to me is a form of cheating on their spouse. This show actually would put "thoughts" into the minds of the TV watchers, just as other TV shows do. I think that TV and Movies have just gone WAY OUT OF LINE on all things. The news will actually show you how to pick door locks for theives, make bombs to blow up things/people, etc... They leave absolutely NOTHING to the immagination. On another level, for those of us who are just past the bikini stage, sagging a little bit, it really hurts for our husbands/boyfriends to "stare" at what is put in front of their faces. Please be aware that the 35 plus girls have feelings too, and we want our husbands/boyfriends to look at US, not the tiny, big boobed, fake everything girls.
oversexualized- definitely. As kids get inundated with mixed messages in the multitude of media- internet, text messaging, TiVoized world, their undeveloped minds must adjust and take on adult perspectives. I don't think they're emotionally mature ( and I'm speaking of the 9-12 range) to handle that task, yet we pressure cook them into it baby fat becomes Baby Phat. What does a skinny prepubescent need to wear velour sweats that basically say "look at my hiney" for? Sick! A twelve year old buying thongs at Victoria's secret- huh? I feel sick inside when I see moms drag their daughters in there, or let them off curbside to go shop at VS. It's a complete buzzkill for me when I shop for my wife! Juicy Couture needs to back off the kids market or redesign for the appropriate age. Having it on the racks at Lord and Taylor does not make it ok. Parents need to take primary blame for letting them go out of the house that way as well. growing up, the biggest scandal we had was Jordache and Sasson. Is it evolution of society or erosion, I wonder.
Sex and violence "sell" in our distortedly capitalized culture. Community values are often overwhelmed by the din of advertising by those who value money and nothing else.
It's no accident that the people of the USA are among the most violent and sexually exploited on the planet.
Unfortunately it's a sign of the Times. As long as the role models don't wear panties, get pregnant and wear as little as possible there are young and impressionable people who will follow their lead.There are still many who do not follow the trends. Trends come and go. Maybe soon a good person will step up and show how to be Cute, sexy and still remain clothed. Sure we come into the world naked; but the old birth day suit begins to wear out, stretches and buldges as soon as we start to eat. Oh well life happens. As a society we are addicted to too many things, bored with what we have and in many case clueless as to how to truly live. I Pray that our society will one day return to being a nation where family values are again the standard. Return to a life that is less hurried, stressed, copied and let Girls be Girls and Boys be Boys, and let them grow up when they are ready. We have a decatant Society that needs help.
Even if girls are becoming "oversexualized" aand they want to be "light skinned" and "slim". Nothing can be done about it. And should something even be done about it? That is their choice. Its not the mens fault, or the fashion industry, or whoever or whatever. Its not no big conspiracy. Just take a look at some pictures from a 100 years ago on how men and women dressed. Then look back to about 55 years ago. Its called "change". No-one can stop it. Not the Liberals, not the conservatives, nor the religious fanatics. They may impede change, and even slow it down some. But change will happen. For better or worse. Just think how women will be dressing in 20 years from now. Clothes may be a thing of the past. I guess that could be a good thing or a bad thing dependent upon the viewer.
I agree, males are scrabbling to regain former totalitarian control over female sexuality. While spectacles of human male attention to young kids tends to reaffirm the base, simplistic and self-serving nature of male sexuality; at its core, it's actually more vulnerable, evolutionarily speaking. It only takes a female one encounter to reproduce...males must prove themselves to mate in all animal species. Historically, this has been the tragedy of male leadership...an institution that brings, not so much 'creative' forms of destruction, as ever-intensifying ones. Technological advances that increasingly allow males to 'farm' women, like chickens and cows; will ultimately rot our social fabric from from the inside out.
The underlying issue of sexualizing young girls is power and/or dominance. The structure of this country has always been predominantly masculine. And, as a critical mass of women gain ever more positions of power (higher education, executives, congress, possible presidential) there seems to be an upsurge in the sexualization of women in order to keep them oppressed. It seems that that is the only way that men keep power over women.
The nature of human male sexuality is an unfortunate evolutionary fact. The extent to which women (or sadly, girls) feel pressure to conform to it, however, is a most illuminating indicator of how much economic, social, etc. power men continue to wield over women. Trends towards sexualizing the very young suggest the traditional social focus on male self-interest is alive and well; and proliferating into the global norm.
The human male sexual dynamic is an unfortunate fact of evolution... The extent to which females feel a need to conform to it, however, offers an illuminating gauge of the relative social, economic, etc. advantages males enjoy over women in any particular social environment. Contemporary trends that sexualize the very young would seem to indicate an intensification of male interests as primary social driver, globally.
So my freshman year I got raped by I Rugby player, while his teamates stood behind the door and cheered. When I went to the university counseling center I had to sit through an hour of the psychologist asking about my clothing and alcohol consumption. The woman insinuated that it was my fault for drinking and dressing the way I did!!!
No matter what I drank I was a Victim! There is so much focus in these discussion on women being sexualized through the media and clothing, but teenage boys are also being sexualized in a way that is even more violent and subversive, although it garners less media attention.
Perhaps restricting women/girls dress and movement would reduce the incidence of assault, however, restricting men's drinking and movement would likely produce the same result. Strangely although men are generally the perpetrators nobody ever suggests this.
I was shocked this weekend at the clothing being advsertised for young girls in the Bloomingdale's "Hot List" mailer (I think this may have only been Western US, but other regions may be similar). "Juicy Couture" brand velour pants and bikinis that read "Juicy" across the bottoms were featured in the magazine modeled on 6-10 year olds. And these child models were dolled-up like a cross between JonBenet and Venice Beach babes. Yes, I would say it was over-sexualized... just a tad.
I just wish to point out how amusing it is to read so many posters repeat, in essence, one after another: "Let's face it, the world is...." or "Let's face it, society is...". No, it's not society, let alone the world, it is the posters' society, it is his/her world...
One does not need to go that far to see that not all (not even a majority of) societies, in this world, have the dominant life-style to be found in the US. Moreover, that dominant life-style of theirs is by no means inferior to the one to be found in the US.
There are viable, worthwhile alternatives for anybody who is not self-centered, personally and socially.
I was disturbed that public education using scantily dressed teenage girls to promote car washes. Girls with 'cheer' plastered over their short shorts collect trash by an eight lane highway or hold up car wash signs. One high school held a make-over contest that was used by MTV. If government institutions allow this, they are promoting it.
I would like to see more healthy attitudes about fitness, sex and long term intimate relationships. Teens are immature and hormonal, we need to help and protect them. Sadly this kind of predatory use of children to collect money has social approval when it's done in the name of a school. Disapproval is interpretted as masculine predatory behavior. When are 'people' going to be nobody's possession?
It appears that, seeing the print-media, TVs' channels, ads, modern media projecting anykind of goods, or any service, to sell,
in other words, it is the only way of presentation of 'girls' 'physical curves.
1.For eg. The men 'Banian', advertisement 'abikini girl, clinging to a mans' muscular body, surprising???
2.Another where cine-star, Jakie sharrof', playing the model for a 'Suit' advertisement, a semi-nude, girl, her hands clasping the person, round the waist, i.e inside the coat is needed as per the product???
3.Now-a-day even the heroines they show only the curves and the swaiying hair, sometimes, only,
36-24-36, figure, difficult to make out the face, the face not be worth seeing also.
4.Other than girls body nothing sells in India, specially,
may be in western but even on the planet, it appears.
5. Girls that too naked, semi naked, are the only 'Bhoga'(royal-feast as per the mens' attitude, thoughts and interest!!!
6. In Mumbai, and other places, people(lusts) throw the notes at the bar girls, may not spend for, wifes' parents' health or medicines, pregrancy, and the domestic expenses. the school children education.
7. Men complain that they donot have time to spend inthe home with their family as they work heavily in the office, but they have plenty of time roll on the Bar-floor; , pampering the belly-selling or showing females, at the roadside bars. in the drunken state.
Very pathetic.
8.for selling a bulgy car also the 'bikni' girls standon all corners of the car??? starnge.
Teenage girls have different interest and mature at different rates so some young, teenage girls are more affected by America's obsession with sex than others. Movies, TV, magazines and peers greatly influence girls (and desensitize adults). In general, since society will not change, then the parents need to shield young children from sexual material (TV shows, movies etc.), and teach the values necessary to make the right decisions as they grow up.
What is really a sign that our society has gone too far are breast implants not related to mastectomies or other medical conditions. It's completely absurd but, in some ways, understandable considering our societies obsession with large breast.
Thin is good, in my opinion, as long as a good diet and exercise lead to that result. Obsession with being thin, however, can lead to eating disorders. The elimination of PE in our schools has been a national disaster, and should be reversed.
There is nothing wrong in a woman "Sexualising" herself if it boosts her personaliy and fills her with confidence. Sexualising takes a wrong turn when it is done with an intention of distracting someone. When there something called "hunger for attention" that lies behind.
And a age should be defined only after a girl should be allowed to sexualise herself. Sexualisation, we all know has the potential to draw a person to a very wrong path.
The blame for this, as with so much of our other societal problems, can be put squarely on business. Take a look at the front page of today?s Washington Post: runway models at a Paris show, Eye On Entertainment with some bimbo with two men at once, more headlines about Paris Hilton and her sister and Linsey Lohan, and yet another story about ?Former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith?. Then, go look at your sister media outlet, MSNBC: ?Sexploration: One last bedroom taboo lifted? (extolling the ?fun? of anal sex), ?Jolie plans to adopt again? (the message: big breasted bimbo marriage wrecker with the morals of a cat can do anything and still look good). Then, look at ?Hillary Clinton?s Hidden Thesis?, ?Army Fires Walter Reed Chief?, the athlete doping headlines, ?SEC Charges 13 In Illegal Trading Scam?. FOX, that family network, features Homer as the bumbling, somewhat crooked father and Bart the sociopath as the typical young man. Lisa and her mom are tough, smart and at least try to be moral. Southpark, every movie made intended for a teenage audience, all deliver the same message.
Oh, our girls get that message, so do our boys. Morals don?t matter, the countries pretty much screwed anyways, what matters is what you can get. If you have money or Hollywood dictated good looks, preferably both, than you can do just about anything ? make a porno movie and get your own ?Reality? television series, work as a stripper, pose naked in a magazine and marry a millionaire. Cheat hundred of thousands of investors out of millions of dollars, keep most of the money, maybe serve a year or two in a federal prison featuring tennis courts, a golf club, and private weekend visits from the wife or girlfriend of your choosing. And god help us all with the generation of young men coming along, pushed aside by their teachers and society as little oppressors of women in the making. Use a derisive phrase like ?that?s so gay? and no one asks why it is that the homosexual community has made a mockery of themselves, the politically correct all just run around condemning the messenger.
Sex sells and advertisers and media will titillate and push the envelope for any attention, because, as Paris Hilton and Angelina Jolie so ably demonstrate, any attention is good attention if you wait it out. MBA?s lay off older workers, comb their insurance records and fire workers with higher medical insurance costs. (And please don?t act all outraged about that, because that is precisely what I did after my last engineering job was outsourced. Virtually all companies with more than 100 employees are ?self insured?. My job was to run queries as to claim costs for the entire families of employees covered by the company?s medical plan. These were, STILL legally mind you, turned over to the employer who based their layoff on that list.) The soulless swine that graduate from our college MBA programs, our captains of industry, don?t have the slightest idea or concern for their product or their workers. They answer to shareholders and willingly sell their souls and ours for money.
So don?t blame families or mom and dad or peer pressure. Mom and dad are working their hearts out trying to make ends meet and are stuck working mandatory overtime when that parent-teacher meeting is scheduled, and society has long gotten the message that you take what you can when you can.
Depends who your looking at. I know lots of girls who are comsumed by a ridiculously constrained worldview, revolving around their own sexual desireability. It's really quite disgusting. In many cases the only way that such women can even relate to men, or the rest of society for that matter, is through their sexuality. Maybe this is just an early 20's thing, but I find, quite often, a complete lack of concern for ideas larger than themselves. Of course there are also plenty of other women out there who do care about others, society and the world. Unforntunately, these women aren't put TV, they aren't down at the clubs every night with their boytoys getting drunk. They're out having meaningful experiences like the rest of us. Unfortunately it makes them a bit harder to find.
Globalmaven-Liam Bailey UK http://warpages-leejay.blogspot.com :
Not that I'm complaining, but there are too many young, pretty, thin women going around, happily flaunting themselves, enjoying the attention, and reaping the benefits. For those less fortunate, on the other side of the coin life can and often is much more difficult. But this can be as much, if not more of a problem for men. I work in a supermarket, men making up 95% of the top tier management team, i.e. 4 men one woman. Young pretty girls start working and a few months later they either get a promotion or a move to a cushy department.
Meanwhile I slog my guts out and get nowhere, mind you I refuse to --brown nose--, subjugate, shall we say. I'm not even insinuating that these girls are sleeping with the managers or even leading them on, in fact to the best of my knowledge nothing like that has gone on in any of the cases I am talking about, perhaps a little harmless flirting here and there. The point is they don't have to do anything, just be there as eye candy. Pleasing them with cushy numbers and promotions is incentive to stay. These girls may be well worthy of the positions they are being given, but my point is the managers often aren't taking enough time to find out.
For the young girls, boys, men and women not blessed with divine beauty and perfection struggle through life, watching their angelic but perhaps less intelligent counterparts excelling at their expense, often knowing that looks and perceptions are all that is holding them back puts immense pressure on a person's mental state. That is where women differ from men.
These women, like their more pleasant to the eye counterparts, often read women's magazines, filled with the images the former aspires to and the latter emulates. As life goes on, set back after set back, pass over after pass over, rejection after rejection, their mental state becomes more and more fragile. These magazine images become more and more appealing, and in extreme cases women can want to look like them at all cost. In extreme cases this means eating disorders or even suicide.
This problem becoming so amplified, often so quickly is less common in men because, as I said in women's magazines there are lots of pictures of attractive men and women, in men's magazines there are lots of pictures of attractive women. The most popular women's magazines are frequently about celebrities, celebrities are mostly attractive.
Popular men's magazines are not about celebrities, they are about sport, a chosen hobby and/or attractive women. This can still cause hang ups as it is always evident these women are out of their league, but like I said it is not as common. For it to be as common men would need to read women's magazines.
Are you spotting a common thread here? The influx of celebrity magazines aimed at the female market is a fairly new phenomenon, as is people craving celebrity, which often turns from a dream into an obsession, as are the flood of reality T.V. shows that offer these people the chance to live the dream, a growing phenomenon that shows no signs of abating. Until people see what the world is turning into, and realize that true celebrity's don't crave celebrity status and the massive popularity and notoriety it brings, it is a side effect of whatever they do so well, be it acting or playing football. Sometimes it is a side effect they would happily live without. They have no privacy and no freedom, they can never be themselves because they are always under the microscope. They can't have a boozy night out or a quiet meal with their wife/husband or friends and family. Everything they do is all over the papers and/or the T.V. Why does anybody crave that?
Of course the affected women don't necessarily crave the lifestyle just the look, but if people stopped craving celebrity and celebrity lost its footing as the "in thing" the scores of magazines would lose the niche that they fill to its absolute capacity, and the vulnerable women would no longer be under such pressure. You may ask why do they buy the magazines? Because the gossip element draws them in. If there is one thing that most women love it is a good bit of gossip. These magazines promise the juiciest gossip about the biggest stars, giving the impression that it may show up these superstars as mortal and make the insecure feel better about themselves. Like: Is that cellulite on such and such a starts thigh? When in fact the increased publicity often makes them more popular and their status even more craved.
Either way, insecure women will keep buying magazines filled with images that eventually make them hate their own body. This will obviously and ever more frequently lead to drastic measures.
Get the campaign managers on the case. Stop the press. Just say no. Love yourself and learn to be happy with the body and the life you have.
*Liam Bailey writes regularly for the Palestine Chronicle, Arabic Media Internet Network and is an advanced blogger on the Washington Post's Post Global. He runs the War Pages blog and you can contact him at wordsworth22@tesco.net
So who will be the next "hero" and "princess" of our society after Anna Nicole Smith?
But any way, more sex and less war is my kind of life style! Karen Hughes, the presidential envoy to the Middle East try to convey the American system of "liberty" to women and she fell flat on her face! Each society to its own....
May-be the PostGlobal saw a difference between "sexy" and "sexualized" ?
"sexy" is like in "brazilian"
"sexualized" is like "prostitute"
I'm 39 and dad of 2 male sons (he he ...) and therefore I see child TV shows: some of them are really crass ! 6 year old girls singing and dancing like Moulin-Rouge strip-tease girls; Ads about "be just soooooo fashionable"; and worst of all, MTV: when I was 20, MTV was about hard-rock and alternative music, now it's soft porno, dumb looking boys in over-flashy cars, and lots of easy money, Dumbass, ...
Sexualized is not even sexy.
This is not about human nature, this is trash propaganda. Should be authorized only after 10 o'clock.
It is inevitable for children to want to wear sexy clothes and fool around. we cant do much to stop that. But we can try to educate them so they dont have to deal with permanent consequences to their typical adolescent behavior, such as a baby. Lets be honest, all of these indignant parents are more worried about their kids being knocked up than anything else. Unfortunately, due to the prevalence and influence of such right wing organizations as Focus on the Family, schools are only allowed to teach abstinence in health class. If it werent for these uptight and narrow-minded evangelicals, schools would be able to teach students about safe sex and about contraception, which we allow Mom and Dad's precious little Anna to prepare herself for the 21st century.
Restrictions on dress or viewing ultimately are failed means of control over young females. A parental role is to give perspective over the entire development of one's life. A well-balanced young woman is probably not a person that is really appreciated appropriately during her teens and early twenties. There is never any shortage of males, only ones with structure and direction in their lives. Eventually, the intellgent ones catch up with realities and overcome hormones, and realize a non-objectivized partner is the winning match. Keeping young women intellectually engaged in creative pursuits and not distracted by cultural deadends is the challenge. Pretty much, the strong ones see this and are not too impressed by the cheap side of our culture. By: Dad of a college-aged daughter.
Sexualisation is in large part a problem we women have created ourselves. We are 50% of the world population and yet we constantly give up our bodies and minds in the belief that we aren't strong enough or smart enough to be accepted as we are. When I got divorced after 19 years of marriage I was still quite young (39) but very naive and terrified of how I was perceived by men. After many conversations and observations I realized that men aren't the problem so much as women ourselves and the competition we generate between ourselves - ultimately setting up our own traps. Women are extremely critical and judgemental and it drives the competition for a man's attention towards provocative dress and attitude. We do this to ourselves by refusing to believe that we are more than animals existing solely for a man's pleasure. There was a group of middle eastern women a few years ago that had trouble getting water from a well. In their culture it was a sin to have sex without washing first. The men were dragging their feet on fixing the problem so the women cut them off. Guess what, the problem was resolved. The flair up of sexualization is the result of the world wide view that women are still less than human. I'm not a militant feminist but the stories I read from around the world and in the US about how we let ourselves be treated tortures me because as a group we're not doing anything to correct our situation. Instead we rely on religious crap about being subservient etc, and less important than men. Unless there is a worldwide change in attitude regarding the roles and values of women AND men and how we are BOTH important, this problem will never go away.
Everyone is overly sexual by nature, that is how we keep the urge to reproduce. However, history shows there have always been problems when sexuality is allowed to run amok.
Moderation is always the answer, niether one extreme or the other. Just at a confortable place in the middle. Not a sexual beacon, nor sexually invisible.
This creates a better thought between the two sexes. one can come to a better conclusion about the other before sexual urges, due to high sexual precognition and exposure, cause the two to initiate intercourse and may cause unwanted offspring.
A child is not 100% responsible, that is part of the definition of a child. So allowing a child to dress in a way that may stimulate sexual contact is saying the child can be 100% percent responsible. This is not the case for either girls or guys, they are not considered reponsible until they are 18.
So having your child dress with modesty is actually following parental duties.
What parent would like to take care of her 16 year olds newborn so thier daughter can finish high school and having to find out if it was Bert, Ernie, or Timmy that actually fertilized the egg. (it will be years before any of them can be responsible emotionally of financially)
Moderating underage sexuality sounds like an extreme concept however, one of my friends daughters actaully dresses like that and they are finding written evidence of her having sex with over-age men, other girls and boys from school. This is not sitting well with them. They have always paid attention to her, took her on outings and were generally good parents. Now her daughters oversexuality is driving a wedge. The oversexuality came after the highly sexually dressing and makeup. Daughter was 14 when it started and is 16 now. They have to employ every technique just to keep tabs on her so she does not implement her little secret lifestyle until the law says she is legal to do so herself.
It's not as much as smothering a young girls personality as it is protecting her and completing reponsibilties as a parent. When she is 18 she may decide an irresponsible lifestye is what she wants and she can legally have it as long it the negatives only effect herself.
but, when under 18 the parents are responsible for all negatives to thier own and others caused ny thier own.
Moderation!
Discipline in one hand, understanding in the other.
I limited the Bratz dolls in our home to two that my daughter received as gifts. They look like their name--brats. Oversexed dolls. Barbie is bad enough, but these dolls just ooze a certain level of CFM (as in those heels). I can't believe those dolls actually gained the popularity they did. Yeah, let's teach our daughters how to role play being overtly sexual, sassy, and street wise. Yep. . that's the kind of play I want to see. . not.
Sexualized? I think it's more appropriate to relax our strained view on this 'adult' topic and merely say that we're letting our children take on adult roles at earlier and earlier ages.
I'm comfortable with saying that in the U.S., more parents are out of the home more, less involved with their children's activities and more responsibility is put on the kids.
They see other children get 'adult' responsibilities and then put the demands on parents who buckle and want to let their children have their 'freedom' to socialize and express themselves. Whether it's letting them out with friends at the mall, giving them their own cellphones, computers with Internet access in their room, iPods and iTunes gift cards to buy whatever songs they want.. it's just a matter of giving in. The more the parents give in, the more the children start acting and expecting adult treatment.
Unfortunately, sexuality comes into play as well. Dressing sexy draws attention...both wanted and unwanted alike. No matter how you inspect it, drawing the gaze of someone gives a feeling of power and control. The problem is controlling the unwanted attention.
Girls love to play 'dress-up' to imitate the women they see and try to attain the same power/respect/social circles. No one likes to be overlooked, so the 'dare to bare' aspect comes out. Some see it as only a risque competition, not understanding the underlying problem.
The more advertisers and the media convey the 'bad girl' images to our daughters, the faster it becomes the 'norm'. We're allowing this to take place because we don't want to be hated by our children and we don't want to allocate any more time out of our already-busy days to try to do the right thing. Some parents are doing the right thing but find it harder and harder to avoid 'keeping up with the Jones".
Boys are equally susceptible. Pants hanging off their waists, shirts showing as much of their bare chest or stomach as they can.. it's all about power. Who can look the most 'dangerous' and who looks toughest...
We need to help our kids develop and expose their individuality through their communication and presentation skills. For public schools, I think it'd be best achieved if they all looked alike. Standard uniforms is a great place to start. Many complain about school uniforms but no one complains that the athletic teams wear a standard uniform. We use one for sports, why not one for education?
Our programming needs a little more restriction. Less provocative ads during the hours our kids are awake (and yes.. I know, we can change the channel, use parental controls, etc but we're talking about programming on channels we thought to be 'kid-safe' like Disney, Nickelodeon, etc). It's about time that we stop being told we can turn the channel or not buy at a particular merchant simply because we don't agree to the content it displays. When we allow it to occur enough and it becomes prevalent and the 'norm', we have to walk through this world with our eyes closed and our hands over our ears just to avoid it.. and that's no way to live.
It's simply time for the parents to retake control of the influences in their children's lives in a manner that doesn't alienate them and leads to positive growth.
I am not a right wing conservative. Let's get that straight. I am appalled by how my 15 year old grandaughter dresses for school. It seems like she is not alone. Either the schools need to make everyone wear a uniform or put a dress code in place. It is disgusting to see see young woman parade around the way they do.
Sexualized? I think it's more appropriate to relax our strained view on this 'adult' topic and merely say that we're letting our children take on adult roles at earlier and earlier ages.
I'm comfortable with saying that in the U.S., more parents are out of the home more, less involved with their children's activities and more responsibility is put on the kids.
They see other children get 'adult' responsibilities and then put the demands on parents who buckle and want to let their children have their 'freedom' to socialize and express themselves. Whether it's letting them out with friends at the mall, giving them their own cellphones, computers with Internet access in their room, iPods and iTunes gift cards to buy whatever songs they want.. it's just a matter of giving in. The more the parents give in, the more the children start acting and expecting adult treatment.
Unfortunately, sexuality comes into play as well. Dressing sexy draws attention...both wanted and unwanted alike. No matter how you inspect it, drawing the gaze of someone gives a feeling of power and control. The problem is controlling the unwanted attention.
Girls love to play 'dress-up' to imitate the women they see and try to attain the same power/respect/social circles. No one likes to be overlooked, so the 'dare to bare' aspect comes out. Some see it as only a risque competition, not understanding the underlying problem.
The more advertisers and the media convey the 'bad girl' images to our daughters, the faster it becomes the 'norm'. We're allowing this to take place because we don't want to be hated by our children and we don't want to allocate any more time out of our already-busy days to try to do the right thing. Some parents are doing the right thing but find it harder and harder to avoid 'keeping up with the Jones".
Boys are equally susceptible. Pants hanging off their waists, shirts showing as much of their bare chest or stomach as they can.. it's all about power. Who can look the most 'dangerous' and who looks toughest...
We need to help our kids develop and expose their individuality through their communication and presentation skills. For public schools, I think it'd be best achieved if they all looked alike. Standard uniforms is a great place to start. Many complain about school uniforms but no one complains that the athletic teams wear a standard uniform. We use one for sports, why not one for education?
Our programming needs a little more restriction. Less provocative ads during the hours our kids are awake (and yes.. I know, we can change the channel, use parental controls, etc but we're talking about programming on channels we thought to be 'kid-safe' like Disney, Nickelodeon, etc). It's about time that we stop being told we can turn the channel or not buy at a particular merchant simply because we don't agree to the content it displays. When we allow it to occur enough and it becomes prevalent and the 'norm', we have to walk through this world with our eyes closed and our hands over our ears just to avoid it.. and that's no way to live.
It's simply time for the parents to retake control of the influences in their children's lives in a manner that doesn't alienate them and leads to positive growth.
YES MEN HAVE DOUBLE STANDARDS!!! SOME MEN ARE RAISED THAT ITS OK TO LOOK A NAKED PICTURES OF WOMEN AND THAT MATURES INTO STRIP CLUBS AND PROSTITUTES LATER IN LIFE!! FOR SOME IT GOES INTO PREDATORS OF YOUNG CHILDREN WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!
Yes, parents have more control than they realize. I am not talking about hiding your kid in a closet. But let's talk to our boys and girls about stereotypical images that are almost always slanted to favor men. Even my 3 year old has had conversations with us about characters in books. I ask, "Do you like to run around in the grass and play soccer? Isn't it weird how the author showed the girls all sitting down and watching as the boys play in the grass?" Let's invite our children to think for themselves.
The problem isn't that girls dress sexy. It is normal for girls and boys to want to attract one another. The problem is that starting at birth, girls are presented with stories and images that teach them that their net worth is dependent upon being sexually/romantically attractive to men. Take a look at "harmless" Disney stories. The princess/girl power marketing schemes are all about the marketers teaching girls to narrow their view of what it means to be a girl/woman. "girl power" is really the power to shop and attract men. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. But it is presented as the only way to achieve feminity. This is a lie that parents need to correct with alternative stories and images.
We don't let our daughters watch TV except for movies from the library. That will surely change as they get older. For now, we discuss the stereotypes we see, since these are the formative years. We will not be reading or watching any Disney princess stuff in our house. When they inevitably watch it/see it somewhere else, we will ask them to think about how girls and boys are portrayed.
Kristen Barr:
Your posting reminded me of a bit in "My Cousin Vinnie" where the judge complements Vinnie on his objection as something like intellegent, logical, well grounded and then denied it. Not sure how you found your way to this thread of ridiculousness but your wisdom was a breath of fresh air. I hope you are in a position that you can influence many women, young and older.
I WOULD LIKE TO ADD MY TAKE ON THIS , I THINK FOR FAR TOO LONG WE AS A WHOLE HAVE ALLOWED THE FLAGRANT AND TOTALLY MISDIRECTED NEWS, PRESS, AND MARKETING WORLD TO DICTATE TO OUR CHILDREN JUST WHAT IS "IN", AND WHAT IS "OUT", WE HAVE WORKED LONG AND HARD AT ALLOWING OUR OWN OFF SPRING TO BECOME SO ENAMORED WITH THEMSELVES THAT NOW THAT ITS OUT OF CONTROL WE ARE WONDERING JUST HOW THE PARADE GOT OFF COURSE IN THE FIRST PLACE. WELL I CAN TELL YOU HOW, WE LET DONW OUR GUARD, THATS RIGHT "WE" AS IN THE PERVERBIAL "WE" YOU ME ALL OF US, WE ALLOWED THE MEDIA IN ALL ITS FORMS TO DECIDE WHAT "THE NORM" WAS GOING TO BE IN ALLOWING OUR CHILDREN AND THEM, "THEM MEANING THE MEDIA" IN ALL ITS FORMS TO TELL US, NO I CORRECT MYSELF TO DICTATE TO US WHAT THE CHILDREN WANT TO WEAR THIS YEAR TO SCHOOL, HOW SHORT THE SKIRTS ARE, HOW TIGHT THE SLACKS ARE, HOW HIGH ON THE BELLY THE MIDRIFT WAS GOING TO GO, HOW LOW THE WAIST LINE OF THOSE 90$ DESIGNER JEANS WERE GOING TO GET, ITS ALL A CASE OF "US" DROPPING THE BALL."WE" WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE PARENTS, WHAT HAPPENDED??? WELL WE WANTED OUR CHILDREN TO HAVE IT "BETTER" THAN WE DID, WE WANTED OUR CHILDREN TO HAVE IT JUST A BIT "EASIER" THAN WE HAD IT , I MEAN COME ON WE HAD DAD'S THAT DIDNT HESITATE FOR ONE HEARTBEAT TO STRIP OFF THAT LEATHER BELT AND MAKE SURE THAT WE ATTONED FOR THE DAYS MISDEEDS AS SOON AS OUR MEANY OLD HAG MOMS GOT THROUGH TELLING HIM WHY THE SCHOOL CALLED AND JUST WHERE WAS LITTLE JOHNNY THIS AFTERNOON CAUSE HE WASNT IN CLASS, WE GOT AWAY FORM THE WHOLE IT TAKES A WHOLE VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD MENTALLITY, YES I KNOW IT VERY CLISHE'ISH TO USE AFRICAN TERMINOLOGY TO DISCUSS THIS FORUM IN BUT I DONT CARE ABOUT THAT, AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENDED, WE BECAME MORE CONCERNED WITH WHAT THE MEDIA TOLD US WERE THE REAL ISSUES INSTEAD OF REMAINING TRUE TO OUR TRADIDTIONAL VALUES, WE DEFINED NEW VALUES THAT WERE FAR MORE LIBERAL AND A LOT MORE FUN TOO, EH??? WELL GUESS WHAT , ITS TIME TO PAY THE PIPER, IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING. WELL ENOUGH OF MY MEANDERING BABBLE, YOU TAKE A GOOD LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND IF YOU CAN HONESTLY SWEAR OFF TO NOT DOING, SAYING, ALLOWING, OR CONDONING ANY OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED ACTIONS , NOT EVEN A LITTLE WHITE BIT, THEN YOU EMAIL ME AND WE'LL MEET CAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO SHAKE YOUR HAND AS BEING THE ONE TRUE VOICE OF COMMON SENSE AND REASON AND PROBABLY THE ONLY PARENT ON THE PLANET THAT DID NOT JOIN THE PARADE THAT WENT OFF COURSE.
THANK YOU AND GOOD LUCK.
DUKE
Just have a look at some of the women’s magazines (Cosmopolitan, etc.). All they talk about is sex -- how to go after guys and how to please a man in bed. The message they are sending is that it’s more important to be sexually aggressive and be an acrobat in bed than get a good education and a career.
Throughout history women have used their sexuality to gain power, largely because it was all they had. As women have gained political and economic power there has been less need to use sexuality for economic gain. I think the men of our generation would subconsciously love to see us back on our backs but women must be strong. There is much temptation to backslide to what appears to be the easy road but we can compete with men on the level playing fields of business and politics so lets try to keep our self respect and and remember we have value as people, not as bodies!!!
I think that our country has sold out our most precious treasure,our children. Children should be allowed to be children. They are not miniature adults. Parents shouldn't allow their children to be "used" as sex symbols by our fashion industry or anyone else.Parents should boycott the "trashy" fashions. I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to wear anything in public that she was ashamed for us to see her in. We have more than enough pedophiles in this world,no need to give them the "eye candy".Children shouldn't be made to feel that their self worth depends on how they look or dress. Parents need to be parents,take back the control over the things that children are too young to be exposed to.Parents,wake up for your kid's sake.
WICKED!! people use women and their natural beauty form for commercial and sensationalistic ends. It has always been soo, it the human drive.
Higher forms of thinking, higher than what you find in the gutter of humanity, tries to preserve the beauty of the human relaitonships, with constructive respect for life over the selfish drive for profit.
SHAME and misery upon the baser forms of humanity!!
Maybe a good study about when sexuality comes into play in both males and females would be better "suited".
Its not the clothes.
It's human nature.
Maybe more people should study what is harmful about sexuality or even study sexuality for that matter and what it is all about.
As for the Hysteria that fasion creates it is not so much the hysteria of people wearing the clothes so much as it is the hysteria of people complaining about it.
As far as the fasion industry finding young binge and purge unhealthy female teens and putting them in the glossy ad's for a marketing ploy... Well that just may infact be counter productive to not only the kids that wear the stuff but is most likely counter productive for the companies not catering to the overwelming majority of todays youth to make a buck.
Are our kids as fat as the health community writes about every day? Or are our kid's ready to grace the streets in the finest clothing best fit for the most famined people in the world?
Maybe its all a bigger picture where parent's are fearful of thier own children, not able to discpline them let alone tell there own children how to make good desicions when the larger society does nothing but intrude on family values in all its glory by insetting strong laws in child abuse, mistreatment and so forth.
There is nothing more enlightening than a good beating and the fear of god set in the eye's of an out of order child. It did me well in the long run and I thank my family today for it.
Where as...
Parent's just can not discipline there own children today. Different strokes for different folks is what they say but when the kid can retain an attorney of his or her own with an autodial on there cell phone its going to be hard time getting children in the right direction.
So if you do not like what your child wear's do something about, or stop whinning.
I can't believe even one has to ask the question. Absolutely, girls are over sexulalized. I would tend to believe that those who don't think they are, more than likely, do not have a daughter. I am a 37 year old dad with an eleven year old daughter. I try my best to steer her in the right direction and to give her sound advice. But she and her peers are constantly bombarded by different media sources with programs, pictures and music sexualizing women and normalizing at risk behavior.
As I mentioned, I am 37 and by no means a prude. Some people might assume that the problem is with my or her mother's parenting skills. But unless you plan on locking your child in a closet, home schooling them, etc., you can count on them being inundated daily with numerous depictions of casual promiscuity as well as a enormous focus on self body image
I can't believe even one has to ask the question. Absolutely, girls are over sexulalized. I would tend to believe that those who don't think they are, more than likely, do not have a daughter. I am a 37 year old dad with an eleven year old daughter. I try my best to steer her in the right direction and to give her sound advice. But she and her peers are constantly bombarded by different media sources with programs, pictures and music sexualizing women and normalizing at risk behavior.
As I mentioned, I am 37 and by no means a prude. Some people might assume that the problem is with my or her mother's parenting skills. But unless you plan on locking your child in a closet, home schooling them, etc., you can count on them being inundated daily with numerous depictions of casual promiscuity as well as a enormous focus on self body image
Readers’ Responses to Our Question (139)
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April 16, 2007 11:13 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Yes, it is true to a point that children nowadays are encouraged by the image machines (TV, Internet, magazines) to grow up before their time. This has a lot to do with kids having so much access to information that just twenty years ago would have been a lot harder for them to grab and absorb. I also agree that in past times, women were objectified quite a bit in Western society, in particular so-called "light" or "fair-skinned" girls, which of course is just another way of saying white. However, it must also be noted that our society is a lot more inclusive than in the past, and there are a lot more examples in the media of women who are not the same color, just as there are many examples of women who do not rely on sex to excel for young girls to follow. Nancy Pelosi readily comes to mind. With that said, the response to some of the more feminist postings must be made. Despite what some women may think, all men are not depraved sexual monsters who stalk women, nor are we all hell bent on keeping women oppressed. Quite honestly, while I feel terrible for the unfortunate women out there who have been the victims of sexual assault, it is wrong and patently offensive the way some of these comments have been floated about on this site. If the feminists out there want to be respected, then they must also show it. It is high time, ladies, that you apologize for your blatant labeling of men as predators. It is time for you to give credit to all those single dads out there, to men who help their wives with domestic chores, to guys out there who work right along side women, and in some cases, even answer to them- all without treating them like objects. You also give no credence to those male athletes out there who also have to sacrifice their bodies in order to make a better life for themselves. Wake up girls--you are NOT the only victims. Men suffer, too. We also have, on average, five less years to live than you. Let's see you address that sexual inequality.
March 20, 2007 4:56 AM | Report Offensive Comments
I don't know about the "light-skinned" thing but as far as girls being "over-sexuallized"...
I sure hope so!
March 14, 2007 7:32 PM | Report Offensive Comments
It is not just the over sexualized clothes- it is the attitudes that go hand in hand with them. I was shopping at Target in the juniors department they were selling a belly shirt with the slogan-
"I want,
You Buy,
Any Questions?"
This shirt came in the size 2T through XL tween. Not only are girls being trained to look like hookers, they are taught the business model for the trade as well. You wouldn't want a girl to think you can learn to read, write, do math and get a great job to buy what you want- just pout and beg men for scraps!
My ten year old daughter is "cafe au lait" in skin tone and she is far more bothered by her "belly" than by her color.
Every Black History month she asks questions about where people she knows would have to sit on the bus- she and her brother (back), mom and dad (front), friends (all over). However, to her the 50's and 60's is approximately a million years ago in the time of dinosaurs.
March 12, 2007 5:56 PM | Report Offensive Comments
I realized our culture had dropped to a new low in sexualization when I recently Googled softball star Jennie Finch to get some photos of her championship pitching form for my students and found several shots of her wearing her winning smile and not much else. I had thought sports were creating a new generation of confident, talented young women who didn't have to take off their clothes to prove their worth, but I guess I was wrong and that's terribly discouraging. And good grief, Finch is a married mother. We are truly doomed to travel down the road of decadence toward the same fate as the Roman Empire.
March 12, 2007 2:07 PM | Report Offensive Comments
i am so sickly tired of beauty ideals. i'm sick of the discussion, all the focus on it, and the anxiety it gives me. although i feel the subject has been overly discussed, there is no other way to fight it. even though everybody talks about how horrible it is all the time, it is necessary to keep talking. what i don't get is why the discussion has born no fruit. everyone says that you are beautiful the way you are, and still the pressure is just as tough to look good. i don't believe there will ever be one day on earth when looks don't matter.
March 10, 2007 5:18 PM | Report Offensive Comments
I think this passionate debate has made many valid points, but it pays short shrift to one point - the juvenile sexual attitudes of Americans towards sex. When one goes to Europe and travels to England where tabloids have topless women, or Denmark where ponography is legalized (except child of course), or france, where Mediterranean beaches are topless or even nude we see countries that tolerate more public nudity or erotic material than Americans ever would. Yet, these countries are plaged with pre-teen sex pots, sexual predators, and hysterical denunciations of sexuality. Maybe the problem isn't too much sex. maybe the problem is too repressed or to explotative a view of sex. When normal erotic expression is labeled evil, when advertising conglomerates and the media are allowed to trivialize personal dynamics and physical expression. When sex is used to shock or sell. When sex is mixed with violence to intensify its pruient effect. When society maintains a large ambivalence toward the full participation of women in society. Then.. Then we have a society full of bluenoses, precocious pre-teens and commodified/trivialized sexual images. Add violence to this hormonal mix and you have a familiar result. Maybe we don't less sexuality - maybe we need more honest and adult and less violent sexuality. Let's learn from societies that have "more" sex and less dysfunction, shall we?
PS, I think the level of violence and violent imagery in American society is more of a clear and present danger. A hormonal teen with a AR-47 scares me more than a 17-year old at Victoria's Secret.
March 8, 2007 2:36 PM | Report Offensive Comments
One could argue that a healthy person has a sense of self, a knowledge of who one is. But a human being is more than the body, it is also the mind and spirit. So if we, as a society, put extreme emphasis on the body alone, and lift up one type of body above all others, it would seem to me that the other two facets would lose importance. It will make for a shallow world, with little feeling and enlightenment.
Turn on your TV, and ask yourself if that is what you are witnessing.
March 8, 2007 12:20 PM | Report Offensive Comments
This whole topic really goes to how immature men and women can be and how so many of both fail to grow up. The difference between boys and Real Men? Real Men, who confortable in their own skins, know that, for Real Women, "It is not what is between the thighs, but is what is behind the eyes" really defines a Real Women's sexuality. And thank God that there are still enough Real Women who recognize this principle. The other females are harmless fluff who may one day grow up and become Real Women or just remain girls. And the boys who chase after them will, unfortunely, often just remain boys all their born days!
March 7, 2007 6:41 PM | Report Offensive Comments
I am just sickened by the evening TV shows, even the news shows such as DateLineNBC. The show where they capture "preditors of the children of the internet" is absolutely sickening. This show maybe should have aired once, maybe twice, but a weekly show? This surely was meant to WARN parents that their children are targets for sick perverts, but since seeing the show for a few times, I'm wondering just what is the purpose of the show. I feel like it was justified the first few times, yet now I feel like that the language used, the words actually written on the screen as to what the preditors said, and what the young girls responded to, are actually causing a lot of problems. Think about it...you have all these men watching this show, reading the chat room language, the perversion spoken, and I feel like the men may be actually "getting off" on this stuff, or at the very least, when they are with their spouse/girlfriend, they are "fantasizing". This to me is a form of cheating on their spouse. This show actually would put "thoughts" into the minds of the TV watchers, just as other TV shows do. I think that TV and Movies have just gone WAY OUT OF LINE on all things. The news will actually show you how to pick door locks for theives, make bombs to blow up things/people, etc... They leave absolutely NOTHING to the immagination. On another level, for those of us who are just past the bikini stage, sagging a little bit, it really hurts for our husbands/boyfriends to "stare" at what is put in front of their faces. Please be aware that the 35 plus girls have feelings too, and we want our husbands/boyfriends to look at US, not the tiny, big boobed, fake everything girls.
March 7, 2007 5:38 PM | Report Offensive Comments
oversexualized- definitely. As kids get inundated with mixed messages in the multitude of media- internet, text messaging, TiVoized world, their undeveloped minds must adjust and take on adult perspectives. I don't think they're emotionally mature ( and I'm speaking of the 9-12 range) to handle that task, yet we pressure cook them into it baby fat becomes Baby Phat. What does a skinny prepubescent need to wear velour sweats that basically say "look at my hiney" for? Sick! A twelve year old buying thongs at Victoria's secret- huh? I feel sick inside when I see moms drag their daughters in there, or let them off curbside to go shop at VS. It's a complete buzzkill for me when I shop for my wife! Juicy Couture needs to back off the kids market or redesign for the appropriate age. Having it on the racks at Lord and Taylor does not make it ok. Parents need to take primary blame for letting them go out of the house that way as well. growing up, the biggest scandal we had was Jordache and Sasson. Is it evolution of society or erosion, I wonder.
March 7, 2007 3:53 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Sex and violence "sell" in our distortedly capitalized culture. Community values are often overwhelmed by the din of advertising by those who value money and nothing else.
It's no accident that the people of the USA are among the most violent and sexually exploited on the planet.
March 7, 2007 3:48 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Unfortunately it's a sign of the Times. As long as the role models don't wear panties, get pregnant and wear as little as possible there are young and impressionable people who will follow their lead.There are still many who do not follow the trends. Trends come and go. Maybe soon a good person will step up and show how to be Cute, sexy and still remain clothed. Sure we come into the world naked; but the old birth day suit begins to wear out, stretches and buldges as soon as we start to eat. Oh well life happens. As a society we are addicted to too many things, bored with what we have and in many case clueless as to how to truly live. I Pray that our society will one day return to being a nation where family values are again the standard. Return to a life that is less hurried, stressed, copied and let Girls be Girls and Boys be Boys, and let them grow up when they are ready. We have a decatant Society that needs help.
March 7, 2007 2:50 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Even if girls are becoming "oversexualized" aand they want to be "light skinned" and "slim". Nothing can be done about it. And should something even be done about it? That is their choice. Its not the mens fault, or the fashion industry, or whoever or whatever. Its not no big conspiracy. Just take a look at some pictures from a 100 years ago on how men and women dressed. Then look back to about 55 years ago. Its called "change". No-one can stop it. Not the Liberals, not the conservatives, nor the religious fanatics. They may impede change, and even slow it down some. But change will happen. For better or worse. Just think how women will be dressing in 20 years from now. Clothes may be a thing of the past. I guess that could be a good thing or a bad thing dependent upon the viewer.
March 7, 2007 11:37 AM | Report Offensive Comments
I agree, males are scrabbling to regain former totalitarian control over female sexuality. While spectacles of human male attention to young kids tends to reaffirm the base, simplistic and self-serving nature of male sexuality; at its core, it's actually more vulnerable, evolutionarily speaking. It only takes a female one encounter to reproduce...males must prove themselves to mate in all animal species. Historically, this has been the tragedy of male leadership...an institution that brings, not so much 'creative' forms of destruction, as ever-intensifying ones. Technological advances that increasingly allow males to 'farm' women, like chickens and cows; will ultimately rot our social fabric from from the inside out.
March 6, 2007 1:47 PM | Report Offensive Comments
The underlying issue of sexualizing young girls is power and/or dominance. The structure of this country has always been predominantly masculine. And, as a critical mass of women gain ever more positions of power (higher education, executives, congress, possible presidential) there seems to be an upsurge in the sexualization of women in order to keep them oppressed. It seems that that is the only way that men keep power over women.
thank you.
March 6, 2007 10:32 AM | Report Offensive Comments
The nature of human male sexuality is an unfortunate evolutionary fact. The extent to which women (or sadly, girls) feel pressure to conform to it, however, is a most illuminating indicator of how much economic, social, etc. power men continue to wield over women. Trends towards sexualizing the very young suggest the traditional social focus on male self-interest is alive and well; and proliferating into the global norm.
March 6, 2007 9:32 AM | Report Offensive Comments
The human male sexual dynamic is an unfortunate fact of evolution... The extent to which females feel a need to conform to it, however, offers an illuminating gauge of the relative social, economic, etc. advantages males enjoy over women in any particular social environment. Contemporary trends that sexualize the very young would seem to indicate an intensification of male interests as primary social driver, globally.
March 6, 2007 8:44 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Pretty women make us buy beer. Ugly women force us to drink it!
March 6, 2007 2:41 AM | Report Offensive Comments
So my freshman year I got raped by I Rugby player, while his teamates stood behind the door and cheered. When I went to the university counseling center I had to sit through an hour of the psychologist asking about my clothing and alcohol consumption. The woman insinuated that it was my fault for drinking and dressing the way I did!!!
No matter what I drank I was a Victim! There is so much focus in these discussion on women being sexualized through the media and clothing, but teenage boys are also being sexualized in a way that is even more violent and subversive, although it garners less media attention.
Perhaps restricting women/girls dress and movement would reduce the incidence of assault, however, restricting men's drinking and movement would likely produce the same result. Strangely although men are generally the perpetrators nobody ever suggests this.
March 5, 2007 6:55 PM | Report Offensive Comments
I was shocked this weekend at the clothing being advsertised for young girls in the Bloomingdale's "Hot List" mailer (I think this may have only been Western US, but other regions may be similar). "Juicy Couture" brand velour pants and bikinis that read "Juicy" across the bottoms were featured in the magazine modeled on 6-10 year olds. And these child models were dolled-up like a cross between JonBenet and Venice Beach babes. Yes, I would say it was over-sexualized... just a tad.
March 5, 2007 5:13 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Yes. The solution is a shift from being who the Movie/TV/Magazine moguls tell us to be and instead embracing the idea that we can only be ourselves.
Until Big Business learns to profit off normalcy, the problem they created is here to stay.
March 4, 2007 5:06 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Is this a stupid day?
March 4, 2007 12:50 AM | Report Offensive Comments
I hope , you both, are O.K. I am little surprised to see this title. I hope things are going well at both homes.
March 3, 2007 10:51 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Tom Wonacott,
See, I knew we could find a topic we both agreed on. I might not be as harsh on the implant issue, but other then that I couldn't agree more.
March 3, 2007 3:47 PM | Report Offensive Comments
I just wish to point out how amusing it is to read so many posters repeat, in essence, one after another: "Let's face it, the world is...." or "Let's face it, society is...". No, it's not society, let alone the world, it is the posters' society, it is his/her world...
One does not need to go that far to see that not all (not even a majority of) societies, in this world, have the dominant life-style to be found in the US. Moreover, that dominant life-style of theirs is by no means inferior to the one to be found in the US.
There are viable, worthwhile alternatives for anybody who is not self-centered, personally and socially.
Don't take my word for it: go and see!
March 3, 2007 2:16 PM | Report Offensive Comments
I was disturbed that public education using scantily dressed teenage girls to promote car washes. Girls with 'cheer' plastered over their short shorts collect trash by an eight lane highway or hold up car wash signs. One high school held a make-over contest that was used by MTV. If government institutions allow this, they are promoting it.
I would like to see more healthy attitudes about fitness, sex and long term intimate relationships. Teens are immature and hormonal, we need to help and protect them. Sadly this kind of predatory use of children to collect money has social approval when it's done in the name of a school. Disapproval is interpretted as masculine predatory behavior. When are 'people' going to be nobody's possession?
March 3, 2007 10:25 AM | Report Offensive Comments
It appears that, seeing the print-media, TVs' channels, ads, modern media projecting anykind of goods, or any service, to sell,
in other words, it is the only way of presentation of 'girls' 'physical curves.
1.For eg. The men 'Banian', advertisement 'abikini girl, clinging to a mans' muscular body, surprising???
2.Another where cine-star, Jakie sharrof', playing the model for a 'Suit' advertisement, a semi-nude, girl, her hands clasping the person, round the waist, i.e inside the coat is needed as per the product???
3.Now-a-day even the heroines they show only the curves and the swaiying hair, sometimes, only,
36-24-36, figure, difficult to make out the face, the face not be worth seeing also.
4.Other than girls body nothing sells in India, specially,
may be in western but even on the planet, it appears.
5. Girls that too naked, semi naked, are the only 'Bhoga'(royal-feast as per the mens' attitude, thoughts and interest!!!
6. In Mumbai, and other places, people(lusts) throw the notes at the bar girls, may not spend for, wifes' parents' health or medicines, pregrancy, and the domestic expenses. the school children education.
7. Men complain that they donot have time to spend inthe home with their family as they work heavily in the office, but they have plenty of time roll on the Bar-floor; , pampering the belly-selling or showing females, at the roadside bars. in the drunken state.
Very pathetic.
8.for selling a bulgy car also the 'bikni' girls standon all corners of the car??? starnge.
March 3, 2007 5:24 AM | Report Offensive Comments
PG
Teenage girls have different interest and mature at different rates so some young, teenage girls are more affected by America's obsession with sex than others. Movies, TV, magazines and peers greatly influence girls (and desensitize adults). In general, since society will not change, then the parents need to shield young children from sexual material (TV shows, movies etc.), and teach the values necessary to make the right decisions as they grow up.
What is really a sign that our society has gone too far are breast implants not related to mastectomies or other medical conditions. It's completely absurd but, in some ways, understandable considering our societies obsession with large breast.
Thin is good, in my opinion, as long as a good diet and exercise lead to that result. Obsession with being thin, however, can lead to eating disorders. The elimination of PE in our schools has been a national disaster, and should be reversed.
March 2, 2007 10:53 PM | Report Offensive Comments
There is nothing wrong in a woman "Sexualising" herself if it boosts her personaliy and fills her with confidence. Sexualising takes a wrong turn when it is done with an intention of distracting someone. When there something called "hunger for attention" that lies behind.
And a age should be defined only after a girl should be allowed to sexualise herself. Sexualisation, we all know has the potential to draw a person to a very wrong path.
March 2, 2007 2:29 PM | Report Offensive Comments
The blame for this, as with so much of our other societal problems, can be put squarely on business. Take a look at the front page of today?s Washington Post: runway models at a Paris show, Eye On Entertainment with some bimbo with two men at once, more headlines about Paris Hilton and her sister and Linsey Lohan, and yet another story about ?Former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith?. Then, go look at your sister media outlet, MSNBC: ?Sexploration: One last bedroom taboo lifted? (extolling the ?fun? of anal sex), ?Jolie plans to adopt again? (the message: big breasted bimbo marriage wrecker with the morals of a cat can do anything and still look good). Then, look at ?Hillary Clinton?s Hidden Thesis?, ?Army Fires Walter Reed Chief?, the athlete doping headlines, ?SEC Charges 13 In Illegal Trading Scam?. FOX, that family network, features Homer as the bumbling, somewhat crooked father and Bart the sociopath as the typical young man. Lisa and her mom are tough, smart and at least try to be moral. Southpark, every movie made intended for a teenage audience, all deliver the same message.
Oh, our girls get that message, so do our boys. Morals don?t matter, the countries pretty much screwed anyways, what matters is what you can get. If you have money or Hollywood dictated good looks, preferably both, than you can do just about anything ? make a porno movie and get your own ?Reality? television series, work as a stripper, pose naked in a magazine and marry a millionaire. Cheat hundred of thousands of investors out of millions of dollars, keep most of the money, maybe serve a year or two in a federal prison featuring tennis courts, a golf club, and private weekend visits from the wife or girlfriend of your choosing. And god help us all with the generation of young men coming along, pushed aside by their teachers and society as little oppressors of women in the making. Use a derisive phrase like ?that?s so gay? and no one asks why it is that the homosexual community has made a mockery of themselves, the politically correct all just run around condemning the messenger.
Sex sells and advertisers and media will titillate and push the envelope for any attention, because, as Paris Hilton and Angelina Jolie so ably demonstrate, any attention is good attention if you wait it out. MBA?s lay off older workers, comb their insurance records and fire workers with higher medical insurance costs. (And please don?t act all outraged about that, because that is precisely what I did after my last engineering job was outsourced. Virtually all companies with more than 100 employees are ?self insured?. My job was to run queries as to claim costs for the entire families of employees covered by the company?s medical plan. These were, STILL legally mind you, turned over to the employer who based their layoff on that list.) The soulless swine that graduate from our college MBA programs, our captains of industry, don?t have the slightest idea or concern for their product or their workers. They answer to shareholders and willingly sell their souls and ours for money.
So don?t blame families or mom and dad or peer pressure. Mom and dad are working their hearts out trying to make ends meet and are stuck working mandatory overtime when that parent-teacher meeting is scheduled, and society has long gotten the message that you take what you can when you can.
March 2, 2007 1:06 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Depends who your looking at. I know lots of girls who are comsumed by a ridiculously constrained worldview, revolving around their own sexual desireability. It's really quite disgusting. In many cases the only way that such women can even relate to men, or the rest of society for that matter, is through their sexuality. Maybe this is just an early 20's thing, but I find, quite often, a complete lack of concern for ideas larger than themselves. Of course there are also plenty of other women out there who do care about others, society and the world. Unforntunately, these women aren't put TV, they aren't down at the clubs every night with their boytoys getting drunk. They're out having meaningful experiences like the rest of us. Unfortunately it makes them a bit harder to find.
March 2, 2007 12:53 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Not that I'm complaining, but there are too many young, pretty, thin women going around, happily flaunting themselves, enjoying the attention, and reaping the benefits. For those less fortunate, on the other side of the coin life can and often is much more difficult. But this can be as much, if not more of a problem for men. I work in a supermarket, men making up 95% of the top tier management team, i.e. 4 men one woman. Young pretty girls start working and a few months later they either get a promotion or a move to a cushy department.
Meanwhile I slog my guts out and get nowhere, mind you I refuse to --brown nose--, subjugate, shall we say. I'm not even insinuating that these girls are sleeping with the managers or even leading them on, in fact to the best of my knowledge nothing like that has gone on in any of the cases I am talking about, perhaps a little harmless flirting here and there. The point is they don't have to do anything, just be there as eye candy. Pleasing them with cushy numbers and promotions is incentive to stay. These girls may be well worthy of the positions they are being given, but my point is the managers often aren't taking enough time to find out.
For the young girls, boys, men and women not blessed with divine beauty and perfection struggle through life, watching their angelic but perhaps less intelligent counterparts excelling at their expense, often knowing that looks and perceptions are all that is holding them back puts immense pressure on a person's mental state. That is where women differ from men.
These women, like their more pleasant to the eye counterparts, often read women's magazines, filled with the images the former aspires to and the latter emulates. As life goes on, set back after set back, pass over after pass over, rejection after rejection, their mental state becomes more and more fragile. These magazine images become more and more appealing, and in extreme cases women can want to look like them at all cost. In extreme cases this means eating disorders or even suicide.
This problem becoming so amplified, often so quickly is less common in men because, as I said in women's magazines there are lots of pictures of attractive men and women, in men's magazines there are lots of pictures of attractive women. The most popular women's magazines are frequently about celebrities, celebrities are mostly attractive.
Popular men's magazines are not about celebrities, they are about sport, a chosen hobby and/or attractive women. This can still cause hang ups as it is always evident these women are out of their league, but like I said it is not as common. For it to be as common men would need to read women's magazines.
Are you spotting a common thread here? The influx of celebrity magazines aimed at the female market is a fairly new phenomenon, as is people craving celebrity, which often turns from a dream into an obsession, as are the flood of reality T.V. shows that offer these people the chance to live the dream, a growing phenomenon that shows no signs of abating. Until people see what the world is turning into, and realize that true celebrity's don't crave celebrity status and the massive popularity and notoriety it brings, it is a side effect of whatever they do so well, be it acting or playing football. Sometimes it is a side effect they would happily live without. They have no privacy and no freedom, they can never be themselves because they are always under the microscope. They can't have a boozy night out or a quiet meal with their wife/husband or friends and family. Everything they do is all over the papers and/or the T.V. Why does anybody crave that?
Of course the affected women don't necessarily crave the lifestyle just the look, but if people stopped craving celebrity and celebrity lost its footing as the "in thing" the scores of magazines would lose the niche that they fill to its absolute capacity, and the vulnerable women would no longer be under such pressure. You may ask why do they buy the magazines? Because the gossip element draws them in. If there is one thing that most women love it is a good bit of gossip. These magazines promise the juiciest gossip about the biggest stars, giving the impression that it may show up these superstars as mortal and make the insecure feel better about themselves. Like: Is that cellulite on such and such a starts thigh? When in fact the increased publicity often makes them more popular and their status even more craved.
Either way, insecure women will keep buying magazines filled with images that eventually make them hate their own body. This will obviously and ever more frequently lead to drastic measures.
Get the campaign managers on the case. Stop the press. Just say no. Love yourself and learn to be happy with the body and the life you have.
*Liam Bailey writes regularly for the Palestine Chronicle, Arabic Media Internet Network and is an advanced blogger on the Washington Post's Post Global. He runs the War Pages blog and you can contact him at wordsworth22@tesco.net
March 2, 2007 10:50 AM | Report Offensive Comments
So who will be the next "hero" and "princess" of our society after Anna Nicole Smith?
But any way, more sex and less war is my kind of life style! Karen Hughes, the presidential envoy to the Middle East try to convey the American system of "liberty" to women and she fell flat on her face! Each society to its own....
March 2, 2007 4:58 AM | Report Offensive Comments
May-be the PostGlobal saw a difference between "sexy" and "sexualized" ?
"sexy" is like in "brazilian"
"sexualized" is like "prostitute"
I'm 39 and dad of 2 male sons (he he ...) and therefore I see child TV shows: some of them are really crass ! 6 year old girls singing and dancing like Moulin-Rouge strip-tease girls; Ads about "be just soooooo fashionable"; and worst of all, MTV: when I was 20, MTV was about hard-rock and alternative music, now it's soft porno, dumb looking boys in over-flashy cars, and lots of easy money, Dumbass, ...
Sexualized is not even sexy.
This is not about human nature, this is trash propaganda. Should be authorized only after 10 o'clock.
March 2, 2007 3:48 AM | Report Offensive Comments
It is inevitable for children to want to wear sexy clothes and fool around. we cant do much to stop that. But we can try to educate them so they dont have to deal with permanent consequences to their typical adolescent behavior, such as a baby. Lets be honest, all of these indignant parents are more worried about their kids being knocked up than anything else. Unfortunately, due to the prevalence and influence of such right wing organizations as Focus on the Family, schools are only allowed to teach abstinence in health class. If it werent for these uptight and narrow-minded evangelicals, schools would be able to teach students about safe sex and about contraception, which we allow Mom and Dad's precious little Anna to prepare herself for the 21st century.
March 1, 2007 9:34 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Restrictions on dress or viewing ultimately are failed means of control over young females. A parental role is to give perspective over the entire development of one's life. A well-balanced young woman is probably not a person that is really appreciated appropriately during her teens and early twenties. There is never any shortage of males, only ones with structure and direction in their lives. Eventually, the intellgent ones catch up with realities and overcome hormones, and realize a non-objectivized partner is the winning match. Keeping young women intellectually engaged in creative pursuits and not distracted by cultural deadends is the challenge. Pretty much, the strong ones see this and are not too impressed by the cheap side of our culture. By: Dad of a college-aged daughter.
March 1, 2007 9:09 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Sexualisation is in large part a problem we women have created ourselves. We are 50% of the world population and yet we constantly give up our bodies and minds in the belief that we aren't strong enough or smart enough to be accepted as we are. When I got divorced after 19 years of marriage I was still quite young (39) but very naive and terrified of how I was perceived by men. After many conversations and observations I realized that men aren't the problem so much as women ourselves and the competition we generate between ourselves - ultimately setting up our own traps. Women are extremely critical and judgemental and it drives the competition for a man's attention towards provocative dress and attitude. We do this to ourselves by refusing to believe that we are more than animals existing solely for a man's pleasure. There was a group of middle eastern women a few years ago that had trouble getting water from a well. In their culture it was a sin to have sex without washing first. The men were dragging their feet on fixing the problem so the women cut them off. Guess what, the problem was resolved. The flair up of sexualization is the result of the world wide view that women are still less than human. I'm not a militant feminist but the stories I read from around the world and in the US about how we let ourselves be treated tortures me because as a group we're not doing anything to correct our situation. Instead we rely on religious crap about being subservient etc, and less important than men. Unless there is a worldwide change in attitude regarding the roles and values of women AND men and how we are BOTH important, this problem will never go away.
March 1, 2007 8:28 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Everyone is overly sexual by nature, that is how we keep the urge to reproduce. However, history shows there have always been problems when sexuality is allowed to run amok.
Moderation is always the answer, niether one extreme or the other. Just at a confortable place in the middle. Not a sexual beacon, nor sexually invisible.
This creates a better thought between the two sexes. one can come to a better conclusion about the other before sexual urges, due to high sexual precognition and exposure, cause the two to initiate intercourse and may cause unwanted offspring.
A child is not 100% responsible, that is part of the definition of a child. So allowing a child to dress in a way that may stimulate sexual contact is saying the child can be 100% percent responsible. This is not the case for either girls or guys, they are not considered reponsible until they are 18.
So having your child dress with modesty is actually following parental duties.
What parent would like to take care of her 16 year olds newborn so thier daughter can finish high school and having to find out if it was Bert, Ernie, or Timmy that actually fertilized the egg. (it will be years before any of them can be responsible emotionally of financially)
Moderating underage sexuality sounds like an extreme concept however, one of my friends daughters actaully dresses like that and they are finding written evidence of her having sex with over-age men, other girls and boys from school. This is not sitting well with them. They have always paid attention to her, took her on outings and were generally good parents. Now her daughters oversexuality is driving a wedge. The oversexuality came after the highly sexually dressing and makeup. Daughter was 14 when it started and is 16 now. They have to employ every technique just to keep tabs on her so she does not implement her little secret lifestyle until the law says she is legal to do so herself.
It's not as much as smothering a young girls personality as it is protecting her and completing reponsibilties as a parent. When she is 18 she may decide an irresponsible lifestye is what she wants and she can legally have it as long it the negatives only effect herself.
but, when under 18 the parents are responsible for all negatives to thier own and others caused ny thier own.
Moderation!
Discipline in one hand, understanding in the other.
March 1, 2007 8:24 PM | Report Offensive Comments
To Michelle's Mom:
I limited the Bratz dolls in our home to two that my daughter received as gifts. They look like their name--brats. Oversexed dolls. Barbie is bad enough, but these dolls just ooze a certain level of CFM (as in those heels). I can't believe those dolls actually gained the popularity they did. Yeah, let's teach our daughters how to role play being overtly sexual, sassy, and street wise. Yep. . that's the kind of play I want to see. . not.
March 1, 2007 7:28 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Sexualized? I think it's more appropriate to relax our strained view on this 'adult' topic and merely say that we're letting our children take on adult roles at earlier and earlier ages.
I'm comfortable with saying that in the U.S., more parents are out of the home more, less involved with their children's activities and more responsibility is put on the kids.
They see other children get 'adult' responsibilities and then put the demands on parents who buckle and want to let their children have their 'freedom' to socialize and express themselves. Whether it's letting them out with friends at the mall, giving them their own cellphones, computers with Internet access in their room, iPods and iTunes gift cards to buy whatever songs they want.. it's just a matter of giving in. The more the parents give in, the more the children start acting and expecting adult treatment.
Unfortunately, sexuality comes into play as well. Dressing sexy draws attention...both wanted and unwanted alike. No matter how you inspect it, drawing the gaze of someone gives a feeling of power and control. The problem is controlling the unwanted attention.
Girls love to play 'dress-up' to imitate the women they see and try to attain the same power/respect/social circles. No one likes to be overlooked, so the 'dare to bare' aspect comes out. Some see it as only a risque competition, not understanding the underlying problem.
The more advertisers and the media convey the 'bad girl' images to our daughters, the faster it becomes the 'norm'. We're allowing this to take place because we don't want to be hated by our children and we don't want to allocate any more time out of our already-busy days to try to do the right thing. Some parents are doing the right thing but find it harder and harder to avoid 'keeping up with the Jones".
Boys are equally susceptible. Pants hanging off their waists, shirts showing as much of their bare chest or stomach as they can.. it's all about power. Who can look the most 'dangerous' and who looks toughest...
We need to help our kids develop and expose their individuality through their communication and presentation skills. For public schools, I think it'd be best achieved if they all looked alike. Standard uniforms is a great place to start. Many complain about school uniforms but no one complains that the athletic teams wear a standard uniform. We use one for sports, why not one for education?
Our programming needs a little more restriction. Less provocative ads during the hours our kids are awake (and yes.. I know, we can change the channel, use parental controls, etc but we're talking about programming on channels we thought to be 'kid-safe' like Disney, Nickelodeon, etc). It's about time that we stop being told we can turn the channel or not buy at a particular merchant simply because we don't agree to the content it displays. When we allow it to occur enough and it becomes prevalent and the 'norm', we have to walk through this world with our eyes closed and our hands over our ears just to avoid it.. and that's no way to live.
It's simply time for the parents to retake control of the influences in their children's lives in a manner that doesn't alienate them and leads to positive growth.
March 1, 2007 6:54 PM | Report Offensive Comments
I am not a right wing conservative. Let's get that straight. I am appalled by how my 15 year old grandaughter dresses for school. It seems like she is not alone. Either the schools need to make everyone wear a uniform or put a dress code in place. It is disgusting to see see young woman parade around the way they do.
March 1, 2007 6:47 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Sexualized? I think it's more appropriate to relax our strained view on this 'adult' topic and merely say that we're letting our children take on adult roles at earlier and earlier ages.
I'm comfortable with saying that in the U.S., more parents are out of the home more, less involved with their children's activities and more responsibility is put on the kids.
They see other children get 'adult' responsibilities and then put the demands on parents who buckle and want to let their children have their 'freedom' to socialize and express themselves. Whether it's letting them out with friends at the mall, giving them their own cellphones, computers with Internet access in their room, iPods and iTunes gift cards to buy whatever songs they want.. it's just a matter of giving in. The more the parents give in, the more the children start acting and expecting adult treatment.
Unfortunately, sexuality comes into play as well. Dressing sexy draws attention...both wanted and unwanted alike. No matter how you inspect it, drawing the gaze of someone gives a feeling of power and control. The problem is controlling the unwanted attention.
Girls love to play 'dress-up' to imitate the women they see and try to attain the same power/respect/social circles. No one likes to be overlooked, so the 'dare to bare' aspect comes out. Some see it as only a risque competition, not understanding the underlying problem.
The more advertisers and the media convey the 'bad girl' images to our daughters, the faster it becomes the 'norm'. We're allowing this to take place because we don't want to be hated by our children and we don't want to allocate any more time out of our already-busy days to try to do the right thing. Some parents are doing the right thing but find it harder and harder to avoid 'keeping up with the Jones".
Boys are equally susceptible. Pants hanging off their waists, shirts showing as much of their bare chest or stomach as they can.. it's all about power. Who can look the most 'dangerous' and who looks toughest...
We need to help our kids develop and expose their individuality through their communication and presentation skills. For public schools, I think it'd be best achieved if they all looked alike. Standard uniforms is a great place to start. Many complain about school uniforms but no one complains that the athletic teams wear a standard uniform. We use one for sports, why not one for education?
Our programming needs a little more restriction. Less provocative ads during the hours our kids are awake (and yes.. I know, we can change the channel, use parental controls, etc but we're talking about programming on channels we thought to be 'kid-safe' like Disney, Nickelodeon, etc). It's about time that we stop being told we can turn the channel or not buy at a particular merchant simply because we don't agree to the content it displays. When we allow it to occur enough and it becomes prevalent and the 'norm', we have to walk through this world with our eyes closed and our hands over our ears just to avoid it.. and that's no way to live.
It's simply time for the parents to retake control of the influences in their children's lives in a manner that doesn't alienate them and leads to positive growth.
March 1, 2007 6:45 PM | Report Offensive Comments
The problem is that BOYS are and have been ALOUD to be oversexual for centuries.
March 1, 2007 6:38 PM | Report Offensive Comments
YES MEN HAVE DOUBLE STANDARDS!!! SOME MEN ARE RAISED THAT ITS OK TO LOOK A NAKED PICTURES OF WOMEN AND THAT MATURES INTO STRIP CLUBS AND PROSTITUTES LATER IN LIFE!! FOR SOME IT GOES INTO PREDATORS OF YOUNG CHILDREN WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!
March 1, 2007 6:17 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Fathers need to start teaching their sons to keep their d!cks in their pants.
March 1, 2007 6:16 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Salamon - I'm curious... You say you've raised "three female daughters"... So, how many male daughters have you raised?
I think the "mainstreaming" of mental deficiency is a bigger threat to girls (and boys) than just about anything else, frankly...
March 1, 2007 6:10 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Yes, parents have more control than they realize. I am not talking about hiding your kid in a closet. But let's talk to our boys and girls about stereotypical images that are almost always slanted to favor men. Even my 3 year old has had conversations with us about characters in books. I ask, "Do you like to run around in the grass and play soccer? Isn't it weird how the author showed the girls all sitting down and watching as the boys play in the grass?" Let's invite our children to think for themselves.
The problem isn't that girls dress sexy. It is normal for girls and boys to want to attract one another. The problem is that starting at birth, girls are presented with stories and images that teach them that their net worth is dependent upon being sexually/romantically attractive to men. Take a look at "harmless" Disney stories. The princess/girl power marketing schemes are all about the marketers teaching girls to narrow their view of what it means to be a girl/woman. "girl power" is really the power to shop and attract men. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. But it is presented as the only way to achieve feminity. This is a lie that parents need to correct with alternative stories and images.
We don't let our daughters watch TV except for movies from the library. That will surely change as they get older. For now, we discuss the stereotypes we see, since these are the formative years. We will not be reading or watching any Disney princess stuff in our house. When they inevitably watch it/see it somewhere else, we will ask them to think about how girls and boys are portrayed.
March 1, 2007 5:44 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Kristen Barr:
Your posting reminded me of a bit in "My Cousin Vinnie" where the judge complements Vinnie on his objection as something like intellegent, logical, well grounded and then denied it. Not sure how you found your way to this thread of ridiculousness but your wisdom was a breath of fresh air. I hope you are in a position that you can influence many women, young and older.
March 1, 2007 5:32 PM | Report Offensive Comments
I WOULD LIKE TO ADD MY TAKE ON THIS , I THINK FOR FAR TOO LONG WE AS A WHOLE HAVE ALLOWED THE FLAGRANT AND TOTALLY MISDIRECTED NEWS, PRESS, AND MARKETING WORLD TO DICTATE TO OUR CHILDREN JUST WHAT IS "IN", AND WHAT IS "OUT", WE HAVE WORKED LONG AND HARD AT ALLOWING OUR OWN OFF SPRING TO BECOME SO ENAMORED WITH THEMSELVES THAT NOW THAT ITS OUT OF CONTROL WE ARE WONDERING JUST HOW THE PARADE GOT OFF COURSE IN THE FIRST PLACE. WELL I CAN TELL YOU HOW, WE LET DONW OUR GUARD, THATS RIGHT "WE" AS IN THE PERVERBIAL "WE" YOU ME ALL OF US, WE ALLOWED THE MEDIA IN ALL ITS FORMS TO DECIDE WHAT "THE NORM" WAS GOING TO BE IN ALLOWING OUR CHILDREN AND THEM, "THEM MEANING THE MEDIA" IN ALL ITS FORMS TO TELL US, NO I CORRECT MYSELF TO DICTATE TO US WHAT THE CHILDREN WANT TO WEAR THIS YEAR TO SCHOOL, HOW SHORT THE SKIRTS ARE, HOW TIGHT THE SLACKS ARE, HOW HIGH ON THE BELLY THE MIDRIFT WAS GOING TO GO, HOW LOW THE WAIST LINE OF THOSE 90$ DESIGNER JEANS WERE GOING TO GET, ITS ALL A CASE OF "US" DROPPING THE BALL."WE" WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE PARENTS, WHAT HAPPENDED??? WELL WE WANTED OUR CHILDREN TO HAVE IT "BETTER" THAN WE DID, WE WANTED OUR CHILDREN TO HAVE IT JUST A BIT "EASIER" THAN WE HAD IT , I MEAN COME ON WE HAD DAD'S THAT DIDNT HESITATE FOR ONE HEARTBEAT TO STRIP OFF THAT LEATHER BELT AND MAKE SURE THAT WE ATTONED FOR THE DAYS MISDEEDS AS SOON AS OUR MEANY OLD HAG MOMS GOT THROUGH TELLING HIM WHY THE SCHOOL CALLED AND JUST WHERE WAS LITTLE JOHNNY THIS AFTERNOON CAUSE HE WASNT IN CLASS, WE GOT AWAY FORM THE WHOLE IT TAKES A WHOLE VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD MENTALLITY, YES I KNOW IT VERY CLISHE'ISH TO USE AFRICAN TERMINOLOGY TO DISCUSS THIS FORUM IN BUT I DONT CARE ABOUT THAT, AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENDED, WE BECAME MORE CONCERNED WITH WHAT THE MEDIA TOLD US WERE THE REAL ISSUES INSTEAD OF REMAINING TRUE TO OUR TRADIDTIONAL VALUES, WE DEFINED NEW VALUES THAT WERE FAR MORE LIBERAL AND A LOT MORE FUN TOO, EH??? WELL GUESS WHAT , ITS TIME TO PAY THE PIPER, IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING. WELL ENOUGH OF MY MEANDERING BABBLE, YOU TAKE A GOOD LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND IF YOU CAN HONESTLY SWEAR OFF TO NOT DOING, SAYING, ALLOWING, OR CONDONING ANY OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED ACTIONS , NOT EVEN A LITTLE WHITE BIT, THEN YOU EMAIL ME AND WE'LL MEET CAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO SHAKE YOUR HAND AS BEING THE ONE TRUE VOICE OF COMMON SENSE AND REASON AND PROBABLY THE ONLY PARENT ON THE PLANET THAT DID NOT JOIN THE PARADE THAT WENT OFF COURSE.
THANK YOU AND GOOD LUCK.
DUKE
March 1, 2007 5:00 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Just have a look at some of the women’s magazines (Cosmopolitan, etc.). All they talk about is sex -- how to go after guys and how to please a man in bed. The message they are sending is that it’s more important to be sexually aggressive and be an acrobat in bed than get a good education and a career.
March 1, 2007 4:59 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Throughout history women have used their sexuality to gain power, largely because it was all they had. As women have gained political and economic power there has been less need to use sexuality for economic gain. I think the men of our generation would subconsciously love to see us back on our backs but women must be strong. There is much temptation to backslide to what appears to be the easy road but we can compete with men on the level playing fields of business and politics so lets try to keep our self respect and and remember we have value as people, not as bodies!!!
March 1, 2007 4:53 PM | Report Offensive Comments
I think that our country has sold out our most precious treasure,our children. Children should be allowed to be children. They are not miniature adults. Parents shouldn't allow their children to be "used" as sex symbols by our fashion industry or anyone else.Parents should boycott the "trashy" fashions. I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to wear anything in public that she was ashamed for us to see her in. We have more than enough pedophiles in this world,no need to give them the "eye candy".Children shouldn't be made to feel that their self worth depends on how they look or dress. Parents need to be parents,take back the control over the things that children are too young to be exposed to.Parents,wake up for your kid's sake.
March 1, 2007 4:53 PM | Report Offensive Comments
WICKED!! people use women and their natural beauty form for commercial and sensationalistic ends. It has always been soo, it the human drive.
Higher forms of thinking, higher than what you find in the gutter of humanity, tries to preserve the beauty of the human relaitonships, with constructive respect for life over the selfish drive for profit.
SHAME and misery upon the baser forms of humanity!!
March 1, 2007 4:47 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Maybe a good study about when sexuality comes into play in both males and females would be better "suited".
Its not the clothes.
It's human nature.
Maybe more people should study what is harmful about sexuality or even study sexuality for that matter and what it is all about.
As for the Hysteria that fasion creates it is not so much the hysteria of people wearing the clothes so much as it is the hysteria of people complaining about it.
As far as the fasion industry finding young binge and purge unhealthy female teens and putting them in the glossy ad's for a marketing ploy... Well that just may infact be counter productive to not only the kids that wear the stuff but is most likely counter productive for the companies not catering to the overwelming majority of todays youth to make a buck.
Are our kids as fat as the health community writes about every day? Or are our kid's ready to grace the streets in the finest clothing best fit for the most famined people in the world?
Maybe its all a bigger picture where parent's are fearful of thier own children, not able to discpline them let alone tell there own children how to make good desicions when the larger society does nothing but intrude on family values in all its glory by insetting strong laws in child abuse, mistreatment and so forth.
There is nothing more enlightening than a good beating and the fear of god set in the eye's of an out of order child. It did me well in the long run and I thank my family today for it.
Where as...
Parent's just can not discipline there own children today. Different strokes for different folks is what they say but when the kid can retain an attorney of his or her own with an autodial on there cell phone its going to be hard time getting children in the right direction.
So if you do not like what your child wear's do something about, or stop whinning.
March 1, 2007 4:41 PM | Report Offensive Comments
I can't believe even one has to ask the question. Absolutely, girls are over sexulalized. I would tend to believe that those who don't think they are, more than likely, do not have a daughter. I am a 37 year old dad with an eleven year old daughter. I try my best to steer her in the right direction and to give her sound advice. But she and her peers are constantly bombarded by different media sources with programs, pictures and music sexualizing women and normalizing at risk behavior.
As I mentioned, I am 37 and by no means a prude. Some people might assume that the problem is with my or her mother's parenting skills. But unless you plan on locking your child in a closet, home schooling them, etc., you can count on them being inundated daily with numerous depictions of casual promiscuity as well as a enormous focus on self body image
March 1, 2007 4:39 PM | Report Offensive Comments
I can't believe even one has to ask the question. Absolutely, girls are over sexulalized. I would tend to believe that those who don't think they are, more than likely, do not have a daughter. I am a 37 year old dad with an eleven year old daughter. I try my best to steer her in the right direction and to give her sound advice. But she and her peers are constantly bombarded by different media sources with programs, pictures and music sexualizing women and normalizing at risk behavior.
As I mentioned, I am 37 and by no means a prude. Some people might assume that the problem is with my or her mother's parenting skills. But unless you plan on locking your child in a closet, home schooling them, etc., you can count on them being inundated daily with numerous depictions of casual promiscuity as well as a enormous focus on self body image
March 1, 2007 4:38 PM | Report Offensive Comments
How come there are so many pedophiles posting on here? They should be investiga