Thomas J. Reese

Thomas J. Reese

Senior fellow Woodstock Theological Center, Jesuit priest

As editor of the Catholic weekly magazine "America" (americamagazine.org), Rev. Thomas J. Reese promoted discussion on current issues facing the Catholic Church and the world. The "On Faith" panelist is author of Inside the Vatican: The Politics and Organization of the Catholic Church. Father Reese is frequently quoted as an expert on Catholic issues. He is a senior fellow at the Woodstock Theological Center at Georgetown University, where he is working on religion and politics. Besides his theological training as a Jesuit priest, he has a doctorate in political science from the University of California Berkeley. He once worked as a lobbyist for tax reform. Close.

Thomas J. Reese

Senior fellow Woodstock Theological Center, Jesuit priest

As editor of the Catholic weekly magazine "America" (americamagazine.org), Rev. Thomas J. Reese promoted discussion on current issues facing the Catholic Church and the world. The "On Faith" panelist is author of Inside the Vatican: The Politics and Organization of the Catholic Church. He is frequently quoted as an expert on Catholic issues. more »

Main Page | Thomas J. Reese Archives | On Faith Archives


Working at Being Family

Part of the problem is that we have very high expectations of our families. They are supposed to be perfect, and when we are hurt by a family member we feel especially betrayed.

» Back to full entry

All Comments (8)

Thomas Baum:

TO NORRIE HOYT:

You wrote, "They're that way because they were created thus by Yahweh, who donated some of his traits to humanity.", actually we are that way because we have free will and a fallen nature.

God is Pure Love and He did not make us to be robots or puppets on a string. Also God has a Plan and that Plan, referred to as the Mysterious Plan of God, will come to Fruition.

It doesn't matter if people believe that but it is true.

Like I have said before and say again: God is a searcher of hearts and minds, not of religious affiliations or lack thereof, a lot of people will be surprized when they find out that it is important what they do and why they do it and also what they know.

Take care, be ready, see you in the Kingdom.

Sincerely, Thomas Paul Moses Baum.

Thomas Baum:

TO PAGANPLACE AND EVERYONE ELSE:

Is a cut and paster someone who writes his own stuff and might put some of it in other postings?

I thank God that I know that I am not perfect actually far from it. Having a fallen nature means that I have a choice, free will.

This world is not perfect and it never will be but the Kingdom will be. This is no excuse tho not to try to do what you can to make what you can better and sometimes it is the little and mundane things of everyday life that can make the biggest differences in someone else's life.

Take care, be ready, see you in the Kingdom.

Sincerely, Thomas Paul Moses Baum.

Kathy:

My father grew up with an mostly absent, always alcoholic father. When he grew up he wanted to be different. He most certainly was - he was the kindest, most loving man I have ever known. His secret - keep your expectations low. The whole family used to laugh at that advice, but now as an adult, wife, mother I can see his wisdom. People are flawed, always in process of becoming. If we put our faith in people, we will often be disappointed. Put your faith in God - he is always there. Anything else is a bonus!!

The Moderate:

Dear Fr. Reese,

You observation that we have very high expectations of our families is, I think, at the center of the matter. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. I was disappointed with them and with myself over how poorly we functioned as a family. Later I met a wonderful woman and we made a home for some children who are happy and productive. As Marcus Aurelius said: "The best revenge is to not do as they do."

It is possible to move toward happiness by work, and with the help of God.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

brian mcc, the arctic:

Thanksgiving and the functional family.

I have supported CRS for the last several years. The contribution last year was generous, and calls came to my home thanking me for the gift. This year, I sent a mere fraction. My father had given each of his children an equal sum of money. This year there was no endowment, because 1 sibling requires special attention. She is a chronic alcoholic, unemployed, at the mercy of our father. CRS feeds the poor of the world. With contributions from those who have more than they need. I'll say a prayer for my sister, because I can't be around her disease. She can eat, but drinks instead. I have asked Catholic Relief Services to include her in their prayers.

Amen.

Paganplace:

There's that 'Expectations' word again. Could be important. :)

And, Thomas, I know you've joined the cut-and-pasters, but:

"I have heard the term, dysfunctional family, and I imagine most others have also, but is there really such a thing as a functional family, think about it!"

I thought the same thing, till I met a few.

Helps to not start with an idea of a 'fallen nature.'

Happy Thanksgiving. :)

Norrie Hoyt:

THE QUESTION:

"Happy Holidays? Why are many holiday family gatherings marked by tension and unhappiness?"

THE ANSWER:

Because humans are agressive, quarrelsome, insensitive and intolerant beings.

They're that way because they were created thus by Yahweh, who donated some of his traits to humanity.

Thomas Baum:

TO HUMANITY:

Forgiveness and Thanksgiving

Sometimes these two terms go together more than we may realize. If we don't forgive people, it ultimately makes us bitter in lots of ways that makes being thankful unattainable and that is why we try to fill it with so many other things that don't fill the emptiness.

Have you ever heard the saying, " Give thanks with a grateful heart", if we are so ate up with bitterness towards someone, then just seeing or thinking of that person can as they say, "Make your blood boil". Isn't it something that it is within our God given power to forgive but some people would rather be miserable that to even attempt it, sad isn't it?

When family members get together some of the grudges that are held are sometimes so long held that they actually become part of the person holding them like a cancer, only worse, in that it eats away at you and you are actually the one feeding it.

The family that most of us grew up in is our first glimpse of the world. I have heard the term, dysfunctional family, and I imagine most others have also, but is there really such a thing as a functional family, think about it!

One honest way of looking at the world is that we are all one family, the human family, rather unruly and dysfunctional, don't you think?

Forgiving others and asking God to forgive you and forgiving yourself are wonderful exercises if people are willing to try, better than any physical exercises, try if you don't believe, and then thanksgiving can come from a grateful and healed heart. Take care and Happy Thanksgiving.

Sincerely, Thomas Paul Moses Baum.

Post a comment

We encourage users to analyze, comment on and even challenge washingtonpost.com's articles, blogs, reviews and multimedia features.

User reviews and comments that include profanity or personal attacks or other inappropriate comments or material will be removed from the site. Additionally, entries that are unsigned or contain "signatures" by someone other than the actual author will be removed. Finally, we will take steps to block users who violate any of our posting standards, terms of use or privacy policies or any other policies governing this site. Please review the full rules governing commentaries and discussions.

Top Local Global

On Faith is an interactive conversation on religion moderated by Newsweek Editor Jon Meacham and Sally Quinn of The Washington Post. It is produced jointly by Newsweek and washingtonpost.com, as is PostGlobal, a conversation on international affairs. Please send your comments, questions and suggestions for On Faith to editor and producer David Waters.