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This question is really the only question for anyone who believes in God (loving or otherwise), and its unanswerability is the main reason why I, and every other atheist I know, can never accept the existence of any deity.
I assume that the definition of "religious extremist" is someone willing to kill anyone seen as an opponent of the extremist's faith or political goals. The idea that there is any point in sending a "message" to fanatics is a fantasy beloved by many good, naive people of all faiths or no faith. What is one to say to Osama bin Laden, whose idea for world peace is that everyone else convert to Islam?
You might as well ask what is the difference between a "real" government and a political experiment. For the most part, the only difference between a "real religion" and a "cult" is longevity--a distinction that also applies to governments. If enough people believe in some form of the supernatural for a long enough period of time, we stop calling it a cult and start calling it a religion. Religions are cults that last.
I am not too fond of absolutist ex cathedra statements, even when they come from someone who is definitely not the pope and with whom I am in total agreement about the irrationality of all faith in the supernatural. Modify the noun "religion" with the adjective "fundamentalist," and I'll sign on to that sentiment.
What Islam Really Says About Violence, Rights and Other Religions
Gomaa, Fadlallah, Mubarak, Khan, Siddiqi, Ellison, others | On Faith
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