What is truly tragic, however, is that Mother Teresa never expressed these doubts in public while she was alive. The contrast between the real spiritual life of Mother Teresa as documented in these letters and her public statements is astonishing. What is even worse is that she knew the contrast for what it is, hypocrisy of the worst sort.

In her Nobel Peace prize acceptance speech she said, “It is not enough for us to say, ‘I love God, but I do not love my neighbor,’” since in dying on the Cross, God had “[made] myself the hungry one—the naked one—the homeless one.” Jesus’ hunger is what “you and I must find” and alleviate. She condemned abortion and youthful drug addiction in the West. Finally she suggested that the upcoming Christmas holiday should remind the world that “radiating joy is real” because Christ is everywhere—“Christ in our hearts, Christ in the poor we meet, Christ in the smile we give and in the smile that we receive.”

In her letters she writes, "I am told God lives in me -- and yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul." "I want God with all power of my soul -- and yet between us there is terrible separation. I don't pray any longer. " "In my soul, I can't tell you how dark it is, how painful, how terrible -- I feel like refusing God."

And finally she does wonder whether her smiling appearance of absolutely confident faith doesn’t, in fact, tempt others to hypocrisy. "People say they are drawn close to God --seeing my strong faith. Is this not deceiving people? Every time I have wanted to tell the truth -- that I have no faith the words just do not come -- my mouth remains closed. And yet I still keep on smiling at God and all."

The professional atheists are crowing, of course, for they see in this stark contrast between the inner and outer Mother Teresa a confirmation of their view that all faith is a lie.

That’s not exactly true. What is true is that the pretense of faith is not faith—it is truly hypocrisy. Religious leaders and indeed all of us need to quit pretending that faith is a cakewalk and all doubt is the enemy. Doubt isn’t the enemy of faith but its constant companion.

In addition, the lesson to take from Mother Teresa’s life and letters is the need to proclaim that self-denying faith is not faith but the route to spiritual suicide. Mother Teresa was looking for God in the poor of Calcutta and, at the same time, denying her own doubts and needs. When Jesus instructs us to “Love God with your whole heart and your neighbor as yourself,” many people, including Mother Teresa, leave out the last part. You need to love yourself or you can’t love God or the neighbor.

But I want to caution you that in my experience this insight is no cure for spiritual loneliness and doubt, though it does help. The struggle to love the self, to love the neighbor and to love God is, in my life at least, a daily struggle and there are no magic words or deeds that make it any easier.