I know several lesbian and gay male clergy who have been subjected to such “discipline” processes in their churches solely because they sought both to minister and to live in a loving and companion relationship. These church disciplinary processes have caused a huge amount of pain and stress for them, their churches, their families and sometimes even for the communities where they have been serving. What good purpose did this serve? Removing perfectly competent clergy solely because of whom they love is to deprive the Church of much-needed leadership for no real purpose.

Are these gay clergy any less competent when it is known they are in committed, same-sex relationships than when they were ordained to the ministry? If the Church didn’t think they were competent to begin with, then they should not have been ordained. And if they were judged fit for ministry by the Church, then what has changed about that simply because they are known to be in a committed, same-sex relationship? Nothing has changed that is germane to their ability to be a competent member of the clergy.

The mainline Protestant churches can ill afford to lose competent clergy. There is already a shortage. We need to keep our excellent lesbian and gay male clergy in their pulpits and be frank about why—good ministry is good ministry is good ministry. And if they are not good ministers to begin with, then they shouldn’t be serving as clergy in any case.

There are those who say that what has changed and is therefore the cause for discipline is that being in a homosexual relationship is immoral whether it is committed or not and this immorality equals incompetence for ministry.

I used to agree with that. When I was in my mid-twenties and myself already an ordained minister, I did not believe that homosexuals should be ordained.

I was also a new mother struggling to finish her doctoral dissertation with a young husband who was a resident in surgery working 24/7. I felt very overwhelmed. I had the good fortune to be using the library at the Episcopal Divinity School in Cambridge, Mass., for my dissertation research when I met an Episcopal priest who worked there. He was very kind to me and listened with great sensitivity to my woes. He gave me excellent advice on putting my marriage and family first in my life and working at the pace that fit my responsibilities.

One day I found out this grace-filled priest was also a gay man. It hit me then that I had received genuine ministry from this priest and his sexual orientation did not matter one bit. I realized then that good ministry is good ministry is good ministry.

I now believe that the gifts for ministry come from God. I also believe that straight or gay we are all created by God and equally loved by God. I look forward to the day when the gifts for ministry are recognized without discrimination throughout the Church—we will then be stronger and more honest communions.