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With all due respect to the theological background of the author, is she not contradicting the very bible she is to be studying as a theologin? The teachings of Jesus of Nazarath seem to have been forgotten by the very people who claim the most authority to speak on them.

What's with this god crap. there is no God. What's the hold-up with the truth?

I think the act of forgiveness does much more for the forgiver than the forgiven, offering the aggrieved an opportunity to let go of hate and anger.

I'm not religious, so I'll leave it to the theologians to propound the benefits of forgiveness to the soul. But I do know that on those occasions when I have had the opportunity to forgive, I felt a wave of peace come over me. I felt like I could start anew and shake off the negative psychic baggage.

I also want to add, that forgiveness is not an act of self love, on the contrary, it is an act of self denial.
When Christ forgave us, he didn't forgive us because he loved himself, and didn't want to be consumed by hate for us who crucified him, on the contrary, he forgave us because he loved us.
Forgiveness is an act of love for your enemies, not for yourself. We forgive because we have a pure heart, not to have a pure heart. Forgiveness comes out of what is already pure and clean and selfless.

The relationship between forgiveness and apology is sometimes misconceived.
Forgiveness and apology are independent from each other. One doesn't have to receive an apology to forgive, and neither should one be asked to apologize to give an apology.
The only relationship that these two have is independence. They owe nothing to each other. The only source they share together is the heart.

Kathleen: FORGIVE or RELIVE.. : )

The fundamental error in thinking that forgiveness and repentance go hand in hand is not realizing that forgiveness is a purely personal act that has nothing whatsoever to do with the perpetrator's apologies.

Forgiveness is an act of self love. Forgiveness is saying "I will not allow this hatred and anger to consume me any longer. I will free myself from it. I will forgive." Whether the person who harmed you is repentant or not does not affect the fact that forgiving him or her is an integral step in your own healing.

Forgiving is not forgetting.If you forgive you may forget, but forgiveness does not require that you do so. Forgiveness only requires that you are willing to take responsibility for your own happiness.

I have had much to forgive in my life, and it took me many years and much thought to realize that only by letting go of the past and forgiving the pain would I be able to move n with my life.

I hope this sheds some light on this admittedly complex issue.

Warm regards
Kathleen Clohessy

Viejita,

Well said.

What all these examples have in common is the certainty that the perpetrators have no intention of operating any differently in response to the outrage. They seem to see an apology in the philosophical sense, as merely an explanation for an act or point of view. As such, their words have no relationship to forgiveness.

"One important reason is that often victims of violence and injustice are urged “forgive, forgive” and even worse, “forgive and forget.” As more and more of those who have been victimized are raising their voices in theology and ethics, the simple “forgive and forget” language just doesn’t get it done. In fact, “forgive and forget” is recognized by many who have been abused as just continuing the abuse by making the person who has been harmed responsible for the moral state of the perpetrator"

In these instances where the victim is urged to forgive and forget, has the purpetrator even apologized?

I recently read the story of a woman who was brutally raped at college. 20 some odd years later, after she had overcome the horror of it, overcome the shortcomings of the police who did nothing, and moved on-got married, had a child, she received a letter from the man who raped her. The letter was one of his 12 steps of AA. He apologized only to make himself feel better, to overcome the alcohol addiction that was the result of the "horror" he was living with since the assault, not to make ammends with her. Should she forgive and forget?

At least these folks said sorry... How about the UCC's Robert Chase's conflict of interest by not disclosing that he was working with Verizon lobbyists in objecting to WorldCom?

http://www.ucctruths.com/issue-worldcom.html