Let’s face it, love is tough. Finding someone to love, who will love you back…it’s the favorite subject of hit movies, popular songs, romantic novels and a sizable proportion of our great literature. If only religion or politics could guarantee us that we would each find a true love, someone who would cherish us always and never betray us, never abandon us for someone younger, cuter or richer, with whom we’d never grow bored or impatient, who would be just as sweet and sexy at eighty as at twenty, who would nurture the children, do the dishes, lift heavy objects and remain gainfully employed until the time comes to retire on a generous pension. Who would not convert?
Given the amount of time, energy, and agony we spend on love, shouldn’t it be an occasion of public amazement and celebration when two people find each other? And if they are willing to make a public declaration and commitment to their relationship, willing to mix up the romance with scheduling the visits to the dentist and comparing insurance plans and picking up the kids from the soccer game, shouldn’t we applaud and support them?
And if that commitment confers with it certain civil rights, then those rights should be equally available to all, regardless of their sexual orientation. If not, then the state should get out of the marriage business altogether, make it purely a religious affair, and find some other grounds to compel child support or compensation for wasting the best years of your life putting some arrogant stranger through medical school.
Of course, I come from a Pagan tradition that affirms all forms of loving and respectful sexuality. “All acts of love and pleasure are my rituals,” says the Goddess in one of the core litanies shared by many branches of Wicca. When love and pleasure are accompanied by deep commitment, that’s a special blessing. I have performed handfastings—our religious ceremony of commitment—for couples of all genders. It’s always a privilege and a thrill to see two people celebrate their love and make a commitment to hang together and work through the troubles and the challenges of the long haul.
So I celebrate the California Supreme Court decision. It’s just, and it affirms an even deeper principle: that civil rights belong to everyone, not just those groups whose behavior meets popular approval. That principle protects us all.
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