When a man rapes a woman, or an adult abuses a child, sex becomes an arena of violation, all the deeper because it touches us so intimately. When a president has sex with an intern, or a senator with a page, there’s a huge imbalance in power. Exploiting those roles for sexual conquest is a misuse of that position—even when both parties are consenting adults, for the charisma of power warps judgment.

Among Pagans, some of us marry, if only to shock our friends. Others don’t. Some of us get handfasted—that is, we go through our own religious ceremony of commitment without necessarily involving the state. Inside or out of marriage, sex is no sin. Our moral questions about sex or any other act would be, ‘Is it hurtful’? Is it something you have to lie about, something that breaks a trust or causes deeper wounds? Is it a way of true connection to the Goddess, or of separation and alienation from some other human being who has entrusted you with their heart?

Wine, for many religions, is a sacrament, but alcohol can also be an addiction. So can sex. Bill Clinton’s behavior seems purely addictive to me. I can certainly forgive him for having extramarital sex—that is really not my business. What I find harder to forgive, however, is the larger betrayal of trust for all of us who supported many of his goals and agendas. The betrayal I feel is that he squandered so much opportunity to do good and make positive changes for this country, and handed such ammunition to his political enemies. Still, on the list of Things I Hold Against Bill Clinton, that’s far down the line, way below, say, the deaths of civilians in Kosovo, the hand-over of our economy to corporate interests, the failure to get us comprehensive health coverage or to pardon Leonard Peltier.

In a sane world, we would be far less scandalized by the pleasures politicians indulge in, and far more outraged by the deaths they cause.