The letter "a" before a word usually means the absence of something. Asexual doesn't mean that someone is against sex; it means that person is not sexual. I used to get out of gym class by claiming that I was asportual.

A theist is someone who believes in or worships a God. I didn't believe in a God or worship a God. But then one define what God is. God is something different to everyone. We all have our own definitions and visions of what and who God is.

As I have written before, at lunch three years ago my friend and co-moderator Jon Meacham talked me out of being an atheist. First, he denied that I was one. Second, he said that I did not want to define myself negatively. Third, he said that if I did decided to be an atheist I first should learn more about religion.

Since then I have been on a mission to study and learn more about all religions. To me there is nothing more exhilarating than the study of what essentially is the meaning of life and how beliefs manifest in everyone's existence.

Today I would not call myself an atheist. I don't have a label. To me, labels and definitions are probably the least important thing about religion.

Am I surprised by the Pew study's finding that 21% of American atheists believe in God or a universal spirit? Not at all. They just have a different definitions of God.

To some, God is a white-haired old man sitting on a throne in heaven. To me, God is the essence of the human spirit. God is in the divine, and there are so many things in my life, especially love, that I count as divine and for which I am filled with gratitude every day.

I imagine many "atheists" feel the same way and therefore would say they believe in a universal spirit. Again, it's a matter of semantics.

As for the Pew study finding that 12% of atheists believe in heaven, what does that mean? Do they believe St. Peter sits at the pearly gates surrounded by singing angels? Probably not. Maybe they believe that heaven is what happens to one's own energy or spirit in the universe after death? Many atheists believe that there is nothing after death. Still, it's comforting to believe that there is a universal spirit, which may not be a God one prays to but which absorbs one's energy back into the universe.

The Pew study also found that 10% of atheists pray. What does it mean to pray? Football teams pray in the locker room and on the field. Parents pray for their dying children. Many pray for world peace. For believers, prayer can be a direct communication with a personal God. For others, including atheists, prayer can be a wish, a hope, a meditation, an imaging of the way you want things to be.

The essential question is this: How do you make it through the night? Some of the most profoundly religious people in the world have confessed to deep and painful doubts and loss of faith. Some of the most profoundly religious people also have been the least moral. Many who claim not to be believers are happy, functional people who lead good and ethical lives.

Each of us has to live in his or her own way. Nobody else can tell you what is in your own heart and soul. The last thing that matters is what you call yourself. It's how you live your life.