Hillary Clinton has been through 16 months of a grueling campaign. But more than that, she has been through over thirty years of life with Bill Clinton. She gave up a promising career as a Washington lawyer to move with him to Arkansas. She changed her name. She married him knowing about the other women in his life.

She helped him run for president, first as the “buy-one-get-one free” co-president who wasn’t going to spend time having teas and baking cookies, then as the “stand-by-your-man” little woman on “60 Minutes” after the Gennifer Flowers story broke.

Once in the White House she changed her hairdo, her style of dressing and her mannerisms so often that it seemed to some that she was suffering from multiple personality disorder. She was the health care maven, then the hostess, then, after Monica, the victimized wife again,standing by her man.

When she ran for Senate and won it was largely because of her marriage to Bill Clinton. When she ran for President she had the same problem. It was never just Hillary Clinton.

At the beginning of this campaign the question was often asked, "Will the real Hillary Clinton stand up?" One minute she was strident, then shrill, then weeping, then gracious and calm. Finally she announced, “I have found my voice.” What an odd thing for a 60-year-old woman to say. It simply didn’t have the ring of truth. She continued to try on different personas from day to day, month to month. There was a striking lack of authenticity. This may in fact be the reason she lost. After more words have probably been written about her than any woman in the world, people still have no idea who she really is.

Now would be the perfect time for her to find herself, to decide what she really wants. Give up the roar of the crowds, the banners and the balloons, the marching bands, the begging for autographs. Give up the naked ambition, the lust for power. Is it possible that she wants those things because she thinks she should?

The only way for her to gather this kind of insight would be for her to go away for awhile. Be alone. Be silent. Be with yourself. There is a wonderful retreat called Bhavana Society in West Virginia that would be the perfect place. Its founder, Bhante Gunaratana, talks in his book “Mindfulness” about the power of concentration or tranquility when one’s mind is brought to rest and “a deep calm pervades the body”. “The meditator focuses his or her mind on a certain item, such as a prayer, a chant, a candle flame, or a religious image, and excludes all other thoughts and perceptions from his or her conciousness.” Self awareness is the goal. Hillary talks quite openly about her faith and how it comforts her. This would be a perfect time for her to explore her faith, to delve more deeply into it.

I truly believe she would come out of an experience like that a happier, more authentic and grounded person; her own person, which she has never really had the opportunity to be. Perhaps she needs to find a loving relationship. Perhaps she could go off to Africa and India and work with aids victims. Or maybe the right thing for her to do is to stay in the Senate and try to improve life for those in this country. Whatever it is, it must be something that gives her peace and fulfillment. Something she clearly has yet to attain.