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A Jackson Eulogy that Mattered
I suppose everyone had his or her own most memorable moment in the memorial service for
Michael Jackson, but mine came in the words delivered by Rev. Al Sharpton.
Addressing the Jackson children, Rev. Sharpton said, "Wasn't nothing strange about your daddy. What was strange was what he had to deal with."
Well, that did it for me. His children had to hear that. They did not know Michael Jackson as a public figure, but rather as a father, and apparently, a very good one. Whatever the pain of the fans, the pain of his children trumps all. They now will have to deal with the horrible loss which will become more and more real as the days go by.
Eulogies are not for the dead; they are for those left behind. A good eulogy will give the survivors something to hold onto, to remember when the pain and shock of the loss engulfs them, unexpectedly, unannounced and unwelcome. Eulogies become the human portion of the balm God gives for spirits of those who grieve.
Up until Rev. Sharpton's words, there was nothing really said that directly addressed the Jackson family, including and especially his children. Oh, don't get me wrong. The memorial service was dignified and beautiful, and the music was wonderfully therapeutic. Good music always is. It had to be soothing to hear the songs Michael Jackson made. Because of his music, his presence will be forever available for his family as well as for his fans.
But up until Rev. Sharpton's words, the children had merely been talked about, and not as human beings, necessarily, but as objects of news stories. We knew their names. We knew that a custody battle may be brewing. We knew they existed. Rev. Sharpton respected them as human beings and as children who had lost their father. "Daddy" was how Paris Jackson referred to her father.
I am not often a fan of Rev. Sharpton. In fact, I often smirk when something happens, and then, like Mighty Mouse, Rev. Sharpton is on the scene. I have dished out silently, very harsh criticism of him, but on this, Rev. Sharpton was right on. His words showed love, compassion, empathy and concern. Someone, finally, embraced the children.
My prayer is that Michael Jackson's children get the attention they need during this time. It is a hard thing to lose a parent at any time, but when you're young, it's even harder. My mother died when I was very young, but my sisters and brothers were even younger. I remember that after the funeral, they went out to play. I wondered if they really understood what Mama being gone was all about.
Turns out, they understood that she was gone. The finality of her being gone, though, was harder for them to embrace. They were too young to talk about it, but when or as they got older, they began to talk. At my mother's funeral, the pastor was careful to address us, the children, and remind us that it was OK to be sad or angry or both.
I don't remember much else he said, but that I do remember, and as my brothers and baby sister got older, they talked about remembering those words, too.
Our pastor, for us, did a eulogy, and I suspect that Michael Jackson's children will remember, more than anything, the words Rev. Sharpton said to them.
And I am thinking that, just as my pastor's words helped me and eventually my siblings, Michael Jackson's children will be most helped because of the moment the famous preacher used to talk to them.
Thank you, Rev. Sharpton.
By
Susan K. Smith
|
July 8, 2009; 10:18 AM ET
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Posted by: DCBarrister | July 9, 2009 2:13 PM
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I thought Sharpton's agenda of poking at "whitey" was snarky and inappropriate.
Posted by: coloradodog | July 9, 2009 8:25 AM
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You are right, when the pain is so great, you remember the unkind words, the thoughtless deeds, and yes the moments that mattered.
His children I know will think back on that day over and over again to remember their Daddy, not the pop star, their Daddy.
A wonderful moment. I pray for the healing that only God can give for his children and family. Inshallah.
Posted by: tyson41 | July 8, 2009 4:36 PM
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You've hit the nail on the head with this one! I absolutely agree and for me this one statement was the most powerful piece of the entire memorial. Funerals and memorials are for the living.
I must also say that as one who has observed you when you've eulogized a person that you do this very well by addressing the grieving family and friends in a very personal and poignant way.
Posted by: psuphd96 | July 8, 2009 2:45 PM
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I absolutely, positively agree. It is far from ironic and extremely telling that Rev. Al Sharpton had the courage deliver a speech that President Obama lacked the courage to do. As iconic as Michael Jackson was to African Americans...as significant a figure...why did President Obama have a "Katrina" moment?
Michael Jackson managed to stand for people of color, inspired us, blazed a trail for us to transcend and overcome racial barriers and most of all never stopped, abandoned or withheld his music and artistry from black America. For President Obama to abandon that historic event was a disgrace.
Posted by: DCBarrister | July 8, 2009 2:20 PM
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Well said. Thank you.
Posted by: mtravali | July 8, 2009 1:38 PM
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The comments to this entry are closed.
[I thought Sharpton's agenda of poking at "whitey" was snarky and inappropriate.
Posted by: coloradodog | July 9, 2009 8:25 AM ]
And in just 12 words you vindicated any suggestion that Rev. Sharpton made or implied about the snarky, petty and disgraceful behavior Michael Jackson endured...and from whom he most endured it.