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"Real Life, Real Love": Why Celibacy Needs to Go
Should the Catholic priesthood be restricted to single, celibate men? Do clergy restrictions based on gender, marital status or sexual orientation make sense these days?
There's a reason Rev. Alberto Cutie was called "Father Oprah" and his book Real Life, Real Love has been so popular. Rev. Cutie, it is now revealed, has had some personal experience with love. This life-experience may very well have contributed to making him a well-liked pastor and a popular counselor. But not any more. Now he's being kicked out of the priesthood for following his heart into a relationship with a woman--with an adult, consenting woman who wants to marry him. And whom he says he loves.
Rev. Cutie once confirmed to an interviewer that it's love that most often troubles people who come to a priest looking for advice. "Most of the people I counsel don't come to me with great theological questions...Instead, what troubles them most are dilemmas of the heart." That's my experience as a pastor as well. Most human life is lived in intimate relationships, most often with our sexual partner. That's where the majority of parisioners' problems come from. Sex. Children. Money.
How did the Catholic Church ever get the idea that single, celibate men would be in the best position to deal with those problems with their parishioners? No sex. No children. No money (vow of poverty). No experience.
The rule of celibacy should be changed. It's a change that frankly is long over-due. Priests remaining unmarried and abstaining from sexual activity, i.e. celibacy, is not a doctrine of the Church, it's a rule or discipline. Thus it can be changed. It began to be demanded in the 4th century, but wasn't even mandatory as a rule until the 11th century.
The Catholic Church has a shortage of priests. Ending the celibacy rule would help with recruitment.
So many other issues, especially of inclusion, would be aided by eliminating priestly celibacy. Certainly, the ordination of women would become more likely. Men who live their lives without relational intimacy with women tend to regard women as outsiders, if not as aliens. Married priests would be far more likely to understand that women are equally human and accept them as priests. It's also possible that a Catholic church that affirmed the sexuality of its married priests as a good and honorable thing would be more open to the full inclusion of gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgendered people into the laity and the priesthood.
Let's just be clear, however, that marriage for clergy, while a good thing and an affirmation of the Creator's gift of sexuality, does not end problems with clergy misconduct. We have plenty of examples in Protestantism of clergy engaging in inappropriate sexual relationships with laity or even other clergy.
But celibacy adds problems that are completely unnecessary. Time for the rule of celibacy to be changed.
By
Susan Brooks Thistlethwaite
|
May 11, 2009; 7:19 PM ET
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Posted by: withouthavingseen | May 17, 2009 3:35 AM
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Really. Who cares? If you christians want to fight amongst yourselves, shouldn't you rather do it in private?
For the rest of us. YAWN.... Really. I'm tired of the christians.
Posted by: Farnaz1Mansouri1 | May 14, 2009 7:34 PM
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Isn’t it for Catholics to determine what their faith requires of them?
I’m not here to advocate celibacy and I’m not Catholic, but I dislike it when people of other denominations, or worse yet an atheist, tries to tell me how to ‘fix’ my religious beliefs in order to get along. The only person we should be worried about getting along with is God.
Is a man (or woman) with a great sex life automatically the best person for the priesthood? Sometimes. Is a man who experiences human loneliness and is sometimes made fun of for following unpopular vows the best person to minister to others? Why not? And before you completely reject the idea of taking relationship advice from a 33-year-old virgin, ask yourself, who was Christ?
While I might disagree with the Catholic decision on celibacy for priests, I can appreciate their desire to have their ministers emulate Christ. Let the Catholics decide if and when it is time to sacrifice this belief in favor of a more worldly clergy. I do not have to agree with them in order to appreciate what they are trying to do.
Posted by: rubytues63 | May 14, 2009 10:09 AM
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I have never understood celibacy in priesthood.
It is not in the bible, and it goes against God’s plan.
It is also one of the reasons I am no longer Catholic.
Mark
Always seek the truth.
Posted by: volkmare | May 12, 2009 2:13 PM
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The comments to this entry are closed.
"How did the Catholic Church ever get the idea that single, celibate men would be in the best position to deal with those problems with their parishioners? No sex. No children. No money (vow of poverty). No experience."
Bosh. Prof. Brooks Thistlethwaite, one might equally well ask the question, "How did the protestant churches ever get the idea that married, sexually active men and women would be in the best position to deal with those problems with their parishioners? Sexual issues. Child-rearing issues. Money issues. All kinds of issues oozing out of their experience." As if having an argument with one's own spouse isn't going to come out somehow when counseling someone else about how to interact with his own. Or as if no married man or woman has sexual hangups or issues.
Good grief. All rhetoric, Prof. B-T, and no reasons.
As for you, Mark, celibacy in the priesthood IS in the Bible. Jesus Christ is our great high priest, and He was celibate while he walked this earth. St. Paul encouraged those yet unmarried to remain so, if they felt themselves capable. Maybe you missed that part of the Bible. It's called the New Testament. Unless you were a priest and have left the Church, priestly celibacy has nothing to do with why you left the Church. What a trite, self-serving, conscience-stricken thing to write. Although ten bucks says your real reasons do have to do with sex.