Praying for Civility

We have entered what columnist Kathleen Parker calls "a political era of uninhibited belligerence," that is finding expression in sermons, at town hall meetings, on radio talk shows, even on the floor of Congress -- especially when we differ. Why are people so angry and belligerent, and so willing to express their anger publicly? Why has our civil discourse become so uncivil? What does this public anger say about our private faith? What should we do about it?

Recently, I saw a bumper sticker that read, "Closed minds should come with closed mouths!" It got me thinking about the emotions and situations that should impel us to put our mouths on pause... but that sometimes don't. And isn't the irony that if we waited (and prayed) instead of giving into anger, self-righteousness, and resentment, that we'd more readily find a solution - not just to that anger and resentment, but also to the issue that was causing those feelings?

That may seem simplistic or naïve to some, but in my practice of Christian Science, I've found patience and compassion to be a proven approach to disagreements and even hotly-debated topics. As a Christian, I take Jesus' "Golden Rule" - "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" - seriously. Why? Because, if sincerely applied, it impels the person applying it to think less of themselves and more of others. Let's face it. One reason we have such incivility, hostility, and anger in public discourse is because some feel the need to force their own personal views on others. The "Golden Rule" - as simple as it is - would reverse this, because it helps us turn our thoughts away from firmly-held opinions toward the patience and understanding that enable us to work together progressively and to communicate effectively.

But in spite of their virtues, unselfish civility and patience may not be enough. This is where prayer comes in. Only, I would submit, an approach to prayer that goes beyond pleading. A prayer that affirms God's power and love for us all. A prayer that affirms that a divine plan is at work, that God's benevolent will is being done, despite all the evidence to the contrary.

I say this because, as a Christian Scientist, I've seen this kind of prayer stop arguments by opening thought to new possibilities, to new concepts previously unseen. I've seen prayer turn a stalemate to a sudden agreement. I've seen hopeless situations rectified and healed -- and enemies turned to friends.

I remember a situation I was managing with a legislative bill. My group was talking with legislative staff and we could not agree on a common approach. It went on for the better part of the week. At one pivotal point late at night, tempers flared and the legislative staff said they were done negotiating. At that moment, the fax machine printed out a message from a friend in another country who had been praying about the situation but knew nothing about our impasse. She simply faxed us several psalms from the Bible - Psalms about God's goodness and wise counsel always prevailing. It calmed us. A solution came up that had not been presented before, and within the hour we had an agreement.

Knowing how many unsolved disputes there are today (and the hard feelings that go with them) makes me wonder if prayer is the most forgotten, underutilized tool for negotiations -- especially when civility is lacking. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has found that prayer is the best way to challenge the escalation of reactions. And I would hope that anyone who is honestly looking for solutions to disagreements would welcome prayer to the table of discussion. Who knows? Maybe the adage "all we can do now is pray" will soon become a first, rather than a last, resort.

By Phil Davis  |  September 16, 2009; 12:52 PM ET
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