Anthony M. Stevens-Arroyo
Director, Research Center for Religion in Society and Culture

Anthony M. Stevens-Arroyo

Anthony M. Stevens-Arroyo is Professor Emeritus of Puerto Rican and Latino Studies at Brooklyn College and Distinguished Scholar of the City University of New York.

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Apology as Restitution

I hardly accept the familiar apologetic phrasing: “I’m sorry for whatever pain my remarks caused.” It is the perfect vehicle to shift any blame away from the perpetrator and on to the victims. The formula suggests that it is only because of a victim’s sensitivities that offense was created.

I suspect such is the price to be paid in an internet-linked global village. Mr. Imus, who fits into the role of an example, was insulting women and racial groups early and often in his career. He could have and did in fact question why his past sins did not excuse his current offense. The difference, as some astute observers have noted, is the existence of an internet that can replay time and time again on demand the actual moment. What might have been greeted as little as five years ago with, “Did he really say that?” and no verification -- is now a computer key click away to continual rehearsal of culpability.

I would argue that because Mr. Imus had enriched himself by utilizing shock schlock, he got what he deserved. I do feel some compassion for people like Pope Benedict XVI, who are nailed for words taken out of context. The pontiff quoted an anti-Muslim statement from a person with whom he disagreed. Anyone who has been a teacher knows that evaluation of an issue requires exploration of contrasting views, and what former theology professor Ratzinger did was understandable in context. However, the internet can isolate remarks out of context. So Cardinal Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict, found out the hard way that there are new rules for today's public personages.

As other commentators have noted, current public apologies emphasize feelings. It wasn’t always that way. There was a time when apology was linked to one’s good name. Without a signed contract or lawyerly gobbledygook, most people in human history had been accustomed to commit themselves on their spoken word. The reputation of their name was guarantee. Oaths calling on the Deity as witness abounded, linking public actions with religion under a concept of honor. When offense was given to another, it was treated as the theft of another’s good name and reputation. The attack required apology as an act of restitution for the injury done. Religious authority often mediated the public apology.

Christianity, as the religion I know best, required restitution as the seal upon forgiveness. For instance, the Christian sacrament of reconciliation is not completed and forgiveness is not imparted until restitution takes place. The clearest application is to robbery: repentance is not sincere unless the robber given back the money stolen. This principle has been applied to public discourse. Good name and public reputation were once valued so highly that there were stiff penalties for loose talk.

Forgiveness in most religions, I would say, is not just a unilateral act, but a mutual responsibility. The offender has to retract falsehood and make restitution to the party offended: the victim then imparts forgiveness to close the affair. This balance is in the Babylonian commandment of “an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth,” a formula that has passed into the bloodstream of many world religions.

Ironically, this is one of the relatively few places that Christ parted company with the religion of Israel. Jesus instructed his followers to forgive others, even when they don’t repent or provide restitution. In his lifetime, Christ indicated that such forgiveness ought to be infinite, using the hyperbolic mathematical formula, “70 times 7” (Mt. 18:22). His last words while being nailed on the cross imparted forgiveness even to those who “did not know what they were doing” (Lk. 23:34). I am not claiming that Christianity is the only religion with such strictures, nor should I be understood to have suggested that the Christian conception is “superior” to other faiths, much less to assert that all Christians practice what they preach. But it is a reminder that many religious people are bound to a standard that is higher than even what reasonable people employ.

From personal experience, I know that both apology-with-restitution and forgiveness-of-the-unrepentant are difficult. Moreover, abandoning the “eye for eye” rule makes no sense in a modern court of law. But as a Catholic bishop once told his charges: “Live your life so that nothing makes sense, except if God exists.” I try.

By Anthony M. Stevens-Arroyo  |  April 30, 2007; 8:05 AM ET  | Category:  Interfaith Issues
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Previous: To Forgive Each Other is Human | Next: The Wisdom of Accepting an Apology

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As I said above, I am not suggesting we cannot ever defend ourselves. Although our Lord never took violent action against another (except when He cleansed the Temple), He was protected by His covenant with His Father (the Old Testament. The word "testament" means "covenant".). His enemies couldn't lay a hand on Him until He purposefully allowed them to (Luke 22:53, & John 19:11). He released Himself into their hands by the words of His mouth (Mark 11:23, and Luke 22:53 illustrate the power of His-and our-words). He was meek, but that doesn't mean "weak".

Posted by: Kathryn | May 6, 2007 7:41 PM
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Forgiveness may not always be preceeded by an apology. They are not necessarily related. Christ forgave His enemies from the cross, but there is no record they had ever apologized for the way they treated Him. I am not saying we should never defend ourselves, but forgiveness is about releasing the one who has been wronged. As long as you hold on to unforgiveness, you continue to relive the injustices of the past, and you continue to wound yourself. You are captive to it until you let go, forgive. That said, I am not sure if Don Imus of necessity realizes the true extent of the pain caused by his remarks. I hope so. I commend the ladies of the Rutgers team for forgiving him and thus letting go.

Posted by: Kathryn | May 6, 2007 7:28 PM
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Maureen McNeill

I agree - excellent discussion there. Some of the other threads are extremely interesting too.

Take a look at

http://lookinginthedistance.blogspot.com/2007/03/on-forgiveness_04.html

Posted by: Michael | May 1, 2007 9:39 PM
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Posted by: Maureen McNeill | May 1, 2007 9:35 PM
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As always Prof. Stevens-Arroyo your articles are thoughtful. However, on this one I must agree and disagree: Christ *and* Catholicism are in agreement: there must be forgiveness--reconciliation--before any restitution--or penance--can be requested or given.

Both are not needed: forgiveness is paramount.

Penance is more necessary for the sinner than the Lord. *His* mercy is boundless and ever lasting. Next to it, our penance is a feeble thing. When we forgive unreservably, we become like Him. When we must give penance we remind ourselves that we are like,well, us. Which would you choose?

Posted by: Mary Cunningham | May 1, 2007 4:27 PM
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To CECIl,

At one time Cecil we as a country did just what you asked me. People were much more civil and courteous to each other. Most people in this country today recognize that we have lost as a society many "common sense values". Civility, respect, only being two of those values.

Now the general rule, or I should say the Political Correct rule is "That may apply to you, but not to me." Or what I hear in my profession all the time, "We cannot punish him/her, they did not know better. So therefore we can punsih no-one." Like I said, its the "lunatics running the asylum". Currently in our area we have a serious teacher shortage, like many other areas. We have many new bright eyed and bushy tailed new teachers start every year. Many of them resign at the end of the year. On their written reasons as to why they quit is the following :
They got called horrible names, racist names, sexist names, and foul names. While no action is taken against the kids. #2 They were threatened or assulted. And the mind set "I don't get paid enough to put up with this kind of treatment from kids and parents." Only one small example of how our society has changed for the worse in regards to manners and common sense.

So in closing how do we as a society monitor and punish those who break so called laws of decency and common sense when the Political Correct People don't recognize those two values in the first place. Or those values can only be attributed to the "race or sex of the week".

Thank you for your polite response. Also, your right about neither choice is acceptable. But unfortunately, I have too accept alot of behaviors today that I do not like. Or be branded at my job as a traditionalist, homo-phobic, another white man, racist, sexist, pedophile hater, a religious freak, and the lsit goes on and on.

Posted by: Bobster | May 1, 2007 4:01 PM
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Mr. Arroyo: You made a number of really good points. Thank you.

I would suggest that an apology is not restitution. As I understand the term, restitution means to repay, to make it right, to repair the damage. An apology seldom does this.

You wrote at some length about forgiveness, but you did not define it. What is this thing called forgiveness?

It seems to me that both restitution and repentance are prerequisite to forgiveness (whatever that is).

I also wonder about the accuracy of your comments (and others) about the sancity in times past of a person's word or a hand shake agreement. The good old days are appealing, but we better be cautious before we go there.

BOBSTER: You wrote "My point is that I would rather have people say things like that radio talk show host did, or other things I have heard that were wrong than to have a communist radio and TV shows like the liberals or far right want us to have." Neither choice is acceptable, but are these our only choices? Can we not police and purge the truly vile, dispicable, deliberately hurtful - and still have freedom of the airways?

Posted by: cecil | May 1, 2007 3:27 PM
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why are we talking about imus?

Posted by: frank collins | May 1, 2007 1:04 PM
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To BA'AL:

Pretty sick username! I'm sure you like being represented by a pagan God that required child sacrifice. Jeremiah 32:34-36

Posted by: Anonymous | May 1, 2007 11:39 AM
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Certainly the pope needs to be more careful about what he says, and to whom, since he legitimately speaks for a large group of people (myself included since I am Catholic). Most of his speech is said to have been aimed at his familiar complaint, European secularism. That's no excuse, and Benedict is such a learned man it is hard to think that he merely mis-spoke.
I would also argue that Imus, because of his membership in the amorphous, big-media "in group" that shapes and reflects mainstream America, also speaks for more than just himself. The Imus persona embodies exactly what the descamisados of this society have always suspected that rich white people talked like...

Posted by: Viejita del oeste | April 26, 2007 12:30 AM
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The Pope is the leader of a religion that believes that it is correct and other religions are by definition wrong. He cannot possibly apologize for his words. But then, neither can the Muslims who disagree with him. I have no dog in that fight.

Imus is another matter. He once called WaPo reporter Howard Kurtz a "boner-nosed, beanie-wearing Jew boy" and he called Gloria Estafan "this little Chihuahua-looking 'ho." He called Venus and Serena Williams "booma chucka big-butted women". He didn't get fired for those remarks, but should have, and there are lots more where those came from. Because of this, I question the sincerity of the people who fired him this time, or the people who continued to appear on his show long he said these things.

Wolfowitz should resign for being caught in his corruption. Anything he says in the meantime is pointless until he does that.

Posted by: Ba'al | April 25, 2007 11:37 PM
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Mr. Arroyo,

I agree with you in many of the issues that you discussed. But I also disagree to some extent.

My main disagreement is that in my opinion just about everything has become political one way or another. Politicians become involved on a daily basis on issues that in the past they never bothered to even comment on, let alone get involved with.

I think it is wrong to talk on public radio the way that many people of all races speak today on radio. But my fear is that if we allow the politicans to curb foul language or slurs then they will start to take other freedoms away from us. Which they are so good at doing. I think that we lost the "common sense rule" years ago. Now for example many people need written instruction on how to eat, tip the waiter, and dress properly for a funeral. As you stated we did not need written contracts before. But now a contract is required for the most mundane act in many cases. It goes back to what happened to common sense?

The political correct police tell us that all jokes are bad. So no more jokes at all. The lunatics are now running the assylum.
My point is that I would rather have people say things like that radio talk show host did, or other things I have heard that were wrong than to have a communist radio and TV shows like the liberals or far right want us to have.

I have heard numerous jokes about my sex, my race, being hetrosexual, etcc.. Some were ment to be funny. Other people ment them to be derogatory. There is a difference. For people who can't tell the difference then we as a society need to issue them a written instructions in how to tell the difference. One more set of instructions want matter that much.

I also think that some people need to learn how to get over themselves. I am not implying you. They are way to sensitive.

I also have to remember that if I get a resentment today, that forgiveness is the answer. regardless of what the other person does, or does not do. Sometimes its easier said than done though.

Keep up the excellent articles!

Posted by: Bobster | April 25, 2007 8:31 PM
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