Islam teaches that the root of all sin is arrogance -- the thought that I am better than he or she, which was the cause of Satan's fall. Pride causes us to feel entitled, and to ignore the sufferings of others. It causes us to think we are better, more worthy, more deserving.

But the reality is we are all humans with the same basic desires and needs. No one human being is more deserving of wealth or happiness than any other human being. And that includes our enemies.

Another cardinal principle of Islam is that we should want for our fellow humans what we want for ourselves. As we would like to be forgiven, so too we should forgive. And that also includes our enemies.

The life of the Prophet is full of stories about enemies who became friends. One of my favorite is that of Abu Sufyan. In the early days of Prophet Muhammad's calling, he was opposed by many in Mecca. Among them was Abu Sufyan. He and his wife, Hind, were infamous for their persecution of the nascent Muslim community. Their own daughter, Ramlah, fled to Ethiopia for sanctuary because of his harsh treatment of her. He was amongst those who plotted to assassinate Muhammad, and he personally led several of the campaigns against the Muslim community in Madinah. He was generally considered the leader of the Prophet's enemies.

On the eve of Muhammad's return to Mecca with an army of 10,000 men, Abu Sufyan came to him in the night and declared his acceptance of Islam. He told the prophet that if there had been a god other than Allah, it surely would have come to his assistance in his fight against Islam, and, thus, since he had failed, he could only accept that there was only one God and that Muhammad was indeed His prophet.

It would have been reasonable for Muhammad to doubt this conversion, considering that Abu Sufyan was facing death at the hands of Muhammad's soldiers the next morning. It would have been reasonable to accept the conversion, but to keep Abu Sufyan at a distance, given the personal enmity that had occurred. Instead, the Prophet accepted him fully, forgave him instantly, and honored him by decreeing that any who sought the protection of Abu Sufyan would be safe from the Muslims the next morning.

Abu Sufyan returned to Mecca and urged his people not to fight, but to seek peace and as a result, the armies of Muhammad entered Mecca with no bloodshed.

After this, Abu Sufyan came to Muhammad and asked for three things -- that the Prophet would unite their families by marrying his daughter, Ramlah, that he would let his son, Muawiya, serve as Muhammad's scribe entrusted with writing down the scriptures, and that he himself be put in a position of leadership in the army. He said that he wished to lead men for Islam as he has once led them against Islam.

Again, it would have been reasonable to decline these requests given Abu Sufyan's 20 years of hatred and opposition to Muhammad and to Islam, but Muhammad agreed to all three things, demonstrating a breadth and depth of forgiveness that is, to me, nothing short of stunning. The entire family was honored, and Abu Sufyan soon became one of Muhammad's most trusted lieutenants.

It is, of course, easier to give forgiveness to our enemies when they ask for it. It is harder to give it when they do not. In this also, we find an inspiration from the Prophet's life.

As things in Mecca were growing more and more oppressive, parts of the community had fled to Abyssinia for sanctuary, the Qur'aish had imposed a boycott on the entire Meccan Muslim community, and were torturing and killing individuals, the Prophet and his adopted son Zaid traveled to Taif, hoping the people of the town might offer a safe place for the beleaguered community.

Instead, they were met with rejection, turned away, and stoned by the children of the community. Bleeding heavily, his shoes filling with blood, Muhammad was met on the road by an angel who told Muhammad that Allah had deputized him to destroy the town if Muhammad so wished. Muhammad demurred, praying that some day some of the town's inhabitants might become Muslim. Not only did he reject vengeance in the here and now, but he also prayed that the people who had just harmed him would receive the ultimate blessing -- to receive God's blessings as believers.

Whenever I feel a terrible hatred for someone, I try to remember these examples. Forgiveness is not an easy thing. But it is a necessary thing. It heals the wounds between communities and individuals, but more importantly, it allows us to move on with our lives in productive ways. Without it, we can come to dwell upon the injustices that we have suffered, building outrage and hatred, until retribution becomes the focus of our lives. With it, we can either turn to other matters, enjoying life fully, or we can focus on restoring justice in equitable and humane ways.