Tragically, the messages of love and compassion that unify the Abrahamic faiths are marginalized by those who fail to understand these commonalities. Imagine if those who promote conflict spent more time promoting the unifying forces between the faiths. Christianity and Islam are connected by, among others, Jesus. Jesus holds a special place in the Quran as he is miraculously born of the Virgin Mary. He is mentioned more often in the Quran than even the Prophet Muhammad. There is an entire chapter devoted to Mary, the venerated mother of Jesus. It is also a good idea for Muslims to recall that the Prophet Muhammad said about himself that there is no one closer to Jesus in love and reverence.

Unfortunately, the three Abrahamic faiths seem be in a particularly turbulent phase. Half of the world’s population is Muslim, Christian or Jewish and if we don’t start finding this common ground, we will be in for a very unsettling century.

2 and 3. Have the extremists and jihadists taken over Islam and where are the moderates? How can we live together in harmony and peace in the future?

To answer precisely these questions, I recently led a team of dedicated young Americans into eight Muslim countries.

The question of Jihad is one that seemed to be a theme throughout my travels. My team and I encountered a young man speaking of Jihad. His name was Aijaz and he was our host for our time in Deoband, India, the center of orthodox Islam in South Asia. In fact, he had written a book entitled “Jihad and Terrorism” where he justified the killing of innocent Americans.

For the Prophet of Islam, the term had two connotations: “the greatest Jihad” is the struggle to elevate oneself spiritually and morally. This has nothing to do with violence, especially against women and children. The “lesser Jihad” is the defense of one’s family and community in the face of attack. In this case too, there is no mention of aggression. But Aijaz justified the use of violence as an act of self defense.

This “lesser Jihad” is the one abused by too many in the Muslim word. When we use the word “Jihad” or “Jihadists” to define people committing acts of terror, we are not only inaccurate; we unintentionally give legitimacy to those who act outside of Islam’s traditions of compassion and justice. We must start calling acts of terrorism what they really are—not Jihad but crimes against society.

After spending a week with our host, we started to notice a change in his attitude. I wrote in my most recent book, "Journey into Islam," about my experiences with him, seeing his view of Jihad start to change:

He accompanied us for the next week as we met with various Muslims in Delhi in gatherings large and small. He had arranged some of the meetings himself, such as a visit to the headquarters of the Jamat-i-Islami, the orthodox Islamic party of South Asia. Throughout the week, he listened carefully to my speeches about my American friends—both Christians and Jews—which stressed that Americans are not all alike.

At every forum, he would hear me emphasize the need for dialogue and understanding as a Quranic duty, especially in view of the globalizing forces impinging on the ummah today. I believe we were the first Americans Aijaz had met and certainly spent so much time with. He had long conversations with Hailey, Frankie, and, later, Hadia (of my team) about serious issues that had been agitating him regarding world affairs. Although he was initially reserved about speaking directly with Hailey and Hadia, he later opened up to them after spending a few days in the field with us, at last able to put a human face to what he had earlier called “American barbarians.” These Americans were actually listening to his opinions and willing to discuss them seriously, in contrast to the stereotypical media commentators who labeled people like him “Islamic extremists” without any engagement or acknowledgment of their common humanity.

Toward the end of our visit in India, Aijaz said that he would like to translate my book Islam under Siege into Urdu. The book explores the idea of common humanity, especially after 9/11, explaining that today all societies feel under siege and off balance. It is vital for them to learn to trust each other, which can only be accomplished through dialogue and understanding.

I am continually amazed at the capacity for the human spirit to change through simple dialogue. Throughout the journey, my team and I met with Sufis, modernist Muslims and orthodox Muslims in many different countries. The one constant, especially among the orthodox, was the desire for dialogue, sometimes just plain talking.

As I traveled, I would find myself facing mobs of young and sometimes angry Muslims. At first, the atmosphere was icy. We had, after all, come from America and this was their chance to vent. But after a while, inevitably, the mood would soften. I would speak of my two great friends Bruce Lustig and John Chane. Keep in mind that I was quoting these names in a mosque in Damascus where I was asked to deliver the post-sermon talk on a Friday, in madrassahs in Deoband and Delhi, and in speeches in Islamabad as well as the Royal Institute in Amman. I would tell the crowd of the hospitality that Bruce and John showed to me and my family in the hard days after 9/11, when I as a Muslim was heartbroken both for the innocent people killed on that day and for my own faith, which had been misrepresented on that day as well.

I would recount how the wonderful Lustig family invited me and Zeenat, my wife, for dinner at their home along with the Chane family. We immediately connected and stayed up late into the night discovering that we shared a passion for finding common ground in the Abrahamic faiths. In the Muslim world, Muslims were learning of good and decent Americans who had befriended another Muslim. The atmosphere would begin to thaw and friendships would begin to form.

I believe this type of friendship across cultures and faiths can multiply. I believe people, like my host in Deoband can change. I believe taking small steps like these offer examples of how we can live together in harmony.

Our holy texts have called us not to aggression but to love of our neighbors (Matthew 19:19, Leviticus 19:18, Surah 49:13). As Bishop Chane once said, “We are brothers on a journey who share the same God and in many ways the same ancient, holy stories that both mystically bind us together and yet define each of our religious traditions as being distinctly different. For many this may seem a radical statement, for me it is the hope of the world.” To struggle in the way of creating this hope is to my mind, the true Jihad for the twenty-first century.

Dr. Akbar Ahmed holds the Ibn Khaldun Chair of Islamic Studies at American University. He is a former High Commissioner of Pakistan to Great Britain and has advised both Britain’s Prince Charles and U.S. President George W. Bush on Islam.