A gazillion years ago when we left Chicago and moved to New York, the most distressing consequence turned out to be our first Thanksgiving—away from home, away from mom-cooked dinner, and away from all those family arguments. It was a shock to be one newly married couple alone with our tiny turkey. We decided that would never happen again.

Since then, we have always had guests for dinner—friends, neighbors, and that one person you meet the week before who has no where else to go. This Thanksgiving we are fourteen. There will be arguments—but not family ones. After giving thanks, we will sit down to eat to a very large turkey and to arguments about the war, the presidential candidates, the economy, and the state of the nation. Since no one at the table has overwhelming decision-making powers, the arguments will peter out over dessert and the day will end in peace and good cheer.

The tension and unhappiness of family gatherings can be avoided by not inviting the family! Or if family there be, make sure friends and neighbors out-number them.