At its best, sex is ecstatic in the root sense of the word. The Greek roots of the word “ecstasy” mean “to be out of one’s self,” or “to be out of one’s ordinary state of consciousness.”

Intense religious experience – mystical experience - is also ecstatic in the same sense. Like mystics, great lovers (and here I am not referring to either technique or number of partners) know something that many people do not know: That there is a way of being, a mode of experience, that makes conventional consciousness seem like living in a cave.

Thus sexual ecstasy has sometimes been seen as a sacrament of the sacred. The union of two people becomes a sacrament of union with “what is,” with the sacred. Intense sexual union puts one in touch with a reality that transcends traditional convention.

For some religious orientations, this is threatening. There are forms of Christianity in which the body is mistrusted and seen as a rival to a godly life. And just as there are forms of Christianity that mistrust sexuality, so also there are forms of Christianity that distrust their own mystics.

Great lovers, great artists, great thinkers, and the mystics of all religions know that there is an experience of the sacred that cannot be confined to tradition or domesticated by convention. Such people are dangerous and subversive to the way things are.

In my own experience, sexuality has been a great source of pain in my life and a great source of joy. I suspect this is true for many people. So I understand why religious traditions have seen sexuality as profoundly ambiguous.

But I am also convinced that at its best, it provides us with a taste of union with “what is.” It can be a sacrament.