We all went on to sing the traditional songs and eat the traditional foods. But when I stepped out of the dining room, in search of the restroom, I noticed that in the family room of the same house stood a large Christmas tree, surrounded by presents. In that couple’s house, Jewish symbols occupied one room, Christian symbols another.

Today, roughly half of America’s young Jews marry non-Jews. So there are lots of couples who experience what has come to be called the “December dilemma.” Being “Jewish and something else,” they wonder what to celebrate: Chanukah? Christmas? Both? Neither? Or maybe, as some insist, a synthesis of the two (Chanukamas?)

The problem becomes acute once children enter the scene. Parents may each go their separate ways for the holidays – one to the dining room, the other to the family room – but what about the kids? “We celebrate Chanukah and Christmas in our house,” some tell me, and they gratefully open presents on both occasions.

But the message – that you can be Jewish and Christian at the same time – is apt more to confuse than to comfort. To celebrate Christmas, after all, is to celebrate that which separates Judaism from Christianity – the belief in Christ. Chanukah, by contrast, commemorates those ancient Jews who battled assimilation and risked all to preserve their distinctive faith and way of life.

When Chanukah is in the dining room and Christmas in the family room, true religion – and commitment to religious truth – is nowhere at all. Mixed faith couples who celebrate both Chanukah and Christmas in their homes do their children and themselves a disservice.