All Comments (5)

If Spitzer were gay, he could have done something truly despicable like McGreevey (coercing a coworker into a relationship, advancing people for sexual favors), and Spong would give him his wholehearted endorsement and approval.
This should tell you all you need to know about Spong's ethics.

If Spitzer were gay, he could have done something truly despicable like McGreevey (coercing a coworker into a relationship, advancing people for sexual favors), and Spong would give him his wholehearted endorsement and approval.
This should tell you all you need to know about Spong's ethics.

I agree with most of the opinion by John Spong. I believe, however, that if there were more powerful women in society, then we would see more scandal initiated by women (other than prostitution). To state the obvious, powerful women professionals do sometimes seek affairs and the pleasures of casual sex.

We downplay (also a form of sexism) that women are sexual, and even though they may (sometimes) focus on the sexual-emotional connection in a deeper way than some men, they are certainly capable of compulsive sex and a very strong (some argue stronger) sex drive. More elements (even more complex sexism) explain the "Spitzer syndrome" than just male objectification of women.

Secondly, people want pleasurable experiences, and sometimes to excess. For example, I used to eat far too much ice cream. I had to exert self-control and get my weight and health back into line. While not as morally loaded (scandalous) as sex, the control of other compulsive pleasure-seeking (even ice cream eating) to cover some emotional dissatisfaction takes maturity and self-control. This view parallels, John Spong's initial impulse to label compulsive sex as a general, compulsive disease.

On the other hand, I believe that even my ice cream binges had a moral dimension (beyond "mental disease"). I was hurting my body. If I did not respect my body and well-being, I would have less ability to respect the well-being of others. I also owed self-care to my family.

Spitzer's compulsion was much deeper and more destructive than my over-eating, but I think that the impulse to have more sex with more partners demands the same moral and emotional self-control. Most people practice this basic self-control in many areas of their lives. Psychologists call this balance ego-strength. Buddhists call it "The Middle Way."

Many people, men and women, have the urge for sex with new and seemingly exciting partners. (Even Jimmy Carter had fantasies; remember the Playboy interview?) We often control these urges because of many reasons: moral, health-related (STD risk), relationship-preserving and maturity (realizing that instant gratification is often shallow).

People who do not have this internal balance, even when faced with compulsive urges, have personality disorders that have elements of both moral and psychological disease. Men and women both risk compulsivity, and milder forms than Spitzer's flame-out are fairly common -- hence the hypocrisy of much of the strident condemning of Spitzer. Most of us have had less tabloid-worthy bouts of compulsivity, often including sexual excess.

Spitzer, however, took his compulsivity into pure self-immolation -- far beyond the average moral-psychic lapse. That quality makes his case tragic.

You could just as well take the view that he loves prostitutes (which would explain his past anti-exploitation lawmaking)

By all means Mr. Spong lets create all the excuses we can for bad behavior. Never mind that the evidence at the very least suggest that doing so only gets us increased levels of bad behavior. After all if what you've done isn't really your fault then there is no reason to not do it.