With some frequency, my wife and I look at each other and say – “life is really tough.” In the last 24 hours we have spoken with friends and loved ones hearing of their life difficulties, including: a spouse entering treatment for drug addiction; a first person witness of an attempted murder involving a pistol whipping and dousing of the victim in gasoline; the uncertainty of a possible final treatment option to stem the advance of a deadly form of cancer; and the difficulties of our son attempting to prepare for deployment to Iraq.
The week’s question and all of these incidents raise the problem (as other panelists have noted) of theodicy – how to justify the ways of God to those of us who are attempting to cope with the anxieties, fears, pain, and horrors which are thrust upon everyone by the awful stuff that happens in life.
Central to the human experience throughout history is suffering from famine, illness, persecution, wars, and catastrophes. The poet, W.H. Auden, dealt with the dilemma of theodicy time and again in his writing.
“O what was that bird,” said horror to hearer,
“Did you see that shape in the twisted trees?
Behind you swiftly the figure comes softly,
The spot on your skin is a shocking disease.”
The emotional force of Auden’s poetry reminds us of the enormity of the fear that floods over us when these terrible things happen. This fear distorts both reason and emotion. Four and a half years ago, when my pacing up and down in the waiting room was interrupted by the nurse to say that I could go back and meet with the doctor and my wife, I caught a glimpse of that “shape in the twisted trees.” Hearing that the doctor suspected my wife had cancer opened the floodgates of fear within me. The doctor’s diagnosis was confirmed and so my wife began a year-long intensive struggle with this deadly enemy.
Anxiety and fear breed idolatry. I believe very strongly that Erich Fromm was correct when he wrote “that the history of mankind up to the present time is primarily the history of idol worship, from the primitive idols of clay and wood to the modern idols of the state, the leader, production and consumption – sanctified by the blessing of an idolized God.” Fear propels us to accept fiction for fact, illusions for reality, to give ourselves over to idols of our own creation in the hope they will save us. All of this has happened to much of this nation in this war and it happened to me in the course of my wife’s illness.
Where I found some help was in the Psalms. These issues are as old as the hills and there is some wisdom available concerning our response. Many psalms contain a dynamic that is dramatic and powerful. These psalms move from cries of despair – from deep and passionate expressions of desolation, sorrow, and fear, to a sense of hope, to repeated attacks of despair, to an ending containing a renewed expression of hope. Midway through the year of my wife’s cancer treatments I remembered these psalms. (read Ps.22) I began writing down my expressions of personal fright and foreboding, attempting to confront and verbalize clearly the terrors of the night. Eventually I produced a prayer, a psalm-like expression which was a help to me and hence to my wife and to our family and friends. Did this answer the question of theodicy? NO. Did it produce a miracle? NO. This process of more fully realizing my despair did help me to remain steadfast and present as supporter and caregiver for my wife.
I try to read the many stories in the newspapers and magazines that so often vividly portray the horrors of this war. I prayerfully watch the end of the NewsHour as the pictures are shown of the men and women newly killed in war. I make myself enter the fear and despair that they invoke. I think it is an antidote to idolatry.
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