Analyzing the Pope's Apologies

By Aaron Lazare
M.D., professor

When a person or group offends another person or group, an apology is often the most effective method of healing. Such a response is a critical part of repentance. which has religious roots going back thousands of years in Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism. Apologies, in my opinion, are sacred matters even in secular settings.

Pope Benedict's recent apologies carry enormous weight since, as a pope, he is the spiritual leader of the Roman Catholic Church with a "flock" of over one billion. Therefore, his apologies have considerable significance, and furthermore, as with any other apology, they can and should be examined for their effectiveness and genuineness.

In my research on apology, I have found that offended individuals want (from apologies): (1) the restoration of their dignity, (2) the ability to forgive (to let go of their hurt, anger, resentment, and grudges), (3) the restoration of trust with the offender, and (4) feeling cared for.

To achieve these goals several of the following processes are necessary: the offender must acknowledge committing the offense and describe the nature of the offense, affirm shared values with the offended party, offer an explanation for the offense, express remorse, communicate empathy towards the offended party, display sincerity and genuineness, support a catharsis of feeling by the offended party, and engage in a dialogue with the offended party.

Let us look at Pope Benedict's apologies to speculate to what degree these goals were reached and processes employed.

Islam and the Catholic Church
On September 12, 2006, Pope Benedict XVI gave a speech in Regensburg Germany to students and faculty. He quoted a 14th century Byzantine emperor, Manuel II Paleologus: "Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread the sword by the faith he preached." The Pope did not say whether he agreed or disagreed with this statement.

Many Muslim leaders were outraged, even "inflamed" by the Pope's remarks. In response the Pope explained later that he was misunderstood. Many Catholics agreed with the pope's message and supported the idea of telling this truth, but feared it would increase violence. Some Catholics believed the Pope made a slip of speech while others believed he was being direct and honest. "In no way did I wish to make my own, the words of the medieval emperor." There was a difference of opinion over whether the Pope apologized, even though he attempted, on at least four occasions, to mitigate the damage. He said he "recognized the hurt he caused," but added that the quote did not reflect his personal opinion and that he respected the followers of Islam. It is unclear what he meant by including the controversial comment in his speech, what he meant as he attempted to mitigate his comments, and whether he intended to offer an apology.

If we assume the Pope made an apology, he has neither restored the dignity of the offended party, gained their trust, obtained their forgiveness, nor communicated his care for them. If we assume that he meant to confront and accuse Islam of violent behavior, in order to create interfaith dialogue, in which case an apology would not be necessary, he failed in this regard.

The Remission of the Excommunication of the Four Bishops
The Pope welcomed back to the church, after 20 years, four Bishops who had been excommunicated. Having made this announcement, the Pope learned that one of the Bishops, in a Swedish television interview last November, disputed the extent of the Nazi's persecution of the Jews. The Bishop said that he would not have made such comments had he known the impact of his statement. (He did not deny his beliefs about the Holocaust.) The pope explained that he was unaware of the Bishop's position at the time of reinstatement, and that he must now pay closer attention to the internet to become aware of such issues. Many Catholics believe these facts were well known to "virtually everybody else." The Pope also stated: "I was saddened by the fact that even Catholics who, after all, might have had a better knowledge of the situation, thought they had to attack me with open hostility." I can not find any mention of the Pope's acknowledgement of the suffering of the Jewish community, to whom holocaust denial is a cause of considerable pain.

The Pope acknowledges his offense of reinstatement of a Bishop who recently made offensive comments towards the Jewish people and explains it as an error in communication within the Vatican. The Pope speaks more of his own suffering, of Catholics attacking him, than of the offended parties. He also does not reinstate the excommunication based on this new knowledge. After all, the Bishop's views of Jews are antithetical to Vatican II. Jewish spokesman Abraham Foxman voiced the sentiment: "Every moment that he (Bishop Williamson) stays in the Church gives him credibility."

The Pope's statements and behaviors, including the improbable explanation for his lack of information, hardly constitute an apology. There is no attempt at reparation (undoing the offense). There is only a superficial acknowledgment of the offense. Instead of reaching out to the victims, the Pope makes himself into the victim, he is being attacked.

The Pope has not achieved any of the four goals of an apology: restoration of dignity, trust, forgiveness, and feeling cared for.

Sexual Abuse of Children by Priests
On the Pope's visit to the U.S. in 2004 and Australia in 2008, the attitude of the Vatican and settlement of the scandal of the sexual abuse of children, was a topic of great interest. The Pope's conversations focused on the shame of the church and his own suffering. Little mention was made of the harm inflicted on the children, now adults. The Pope was unwilling to speak to the victims. He avoided discussing the culpability of the priests. He suggested that priests who molested children might be given a second chance. He avoided discussing the culpability of bishops, who were aware of the priests' behavior and did nothing to stop it. He did not offer ways of avoiding such abuse in the future. One of the victims said: "He's been so troubled by this? Let him have lunch with some of us. He'll see what being troubled is like." Another victim said: "The pope talks about how he feels ashamed and all of this. But we are plagued by lawyers working for the Vatican and for the church to make sure they fight tooth and nail to not be responsible."

Conclusions
The Pope has clearly offended Muslims, Jews, and Roman Catholics. If he wants to restore relationships of good will he must apologize in a manner that is genuine and meets the needs of the offended parties - restoring their dignity, their trust, and their ability to relinquish their hurt and resentment. He has not yet met these needs. He has not yet apologized.

Hopefully, in dealing with his implication of violence in Islam, he can acknowledge that violence is part of the history of other religions. Hopefully, during his anticipated visit to Israel, he can understand the Jewish perspective on the Holocaust and the offense of having an excommunicated bishop minimize the impact of Jewish suffering. Hopefully, he can listen to the voices of people who, as children, were sexually abused, and as adults continue to suffer. Hopefully, the Pope can better tolerate his pain over the criticism directed at him, and better understand the suffering of those he, and those answerable to him, have offended.

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Aaron Lazare, M.D. is Chancellor/Dean Emeritus and Professor of Psychiatry, University of Massachusetts Medical School. He is the author of On Apology, Oxford University Press (2004). Dr. Lazare is writing "Doctors' Unspoken Emotions: Shame and Humiliation."

By Aaron Lazare |  April 14, 2009; 9:35 AM ET
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