The Voice of God Behind Bars
My world is dark. It is engulfed in despair, misery, grief, anger and bitterness. I am in prison. Two months after my 16th birthday, I was arrested and I have been incarcerated ever since. I am now 29 years old and scheduled release date is June 26, 2009, so I have six months to serve before my penance to society has been paid.
My transition from a teenager to an adult occurred far earlier and much faster than I could've ever expected or anticipated. When thrust into an environment as unpredictable and hostile as the one I've grown up in, one must search within himself and find strength -- the strength of his spirit -- to continue to take each slow and agonizing day one at a time.

For some, this comes naturally -- as if they were born with an uncanny ability to battle and overcome the countless hardships that comes with life.
For others, like myself, it takes a great deal of time to learn to accept this fate, confront these fears and worries and ultimately, to be at peace.
Then there are those who lack the courage to even begin the search for inner strength and succumb to a prison within a prison. They turn to drugs and alcohol and enter the alternate universe where these innumerable troubled souls dwell. They alienate themselves from reality.
Lastly, there are those who allow their circumstances and inner demons to blind them from everything else. Exhausted by their efforts to conquer what they feel is an incorrigible situation; they end their lives by their own hands.
I have witnessed unimaginable horrors throughout my years in here and I have had no choice but to become quite accustomed to living and surviving in this ghastly realm of existence. Some days go by easier than others but there have also been several that carried me to the very brink of my breaking point.
I wouldn't say I am a religious person but every time I find myself not knowing what else to do with any given situation, I pray. I pray that there is a greater force, a higher power, out there somewhere who is listening to my heart crying out for help. I then quiet my mind and I listen. I just listen. During that brief moment of absolute clarity in a frenzied mind, the solution to my problem comes to me. Is that the voice of God? I cannot say. But it's certainly something.
Jimmy Wu was born in Peitou, Taiwan, but came to the United States at the age of 2. He grew up in the San Gabriel Valley in California and resided in the city of Arcadia at the time of his arrest. He was convicted of carjacking and armed robbery and was sentenced to 15 years and 8 months in prison. He is currently serving his time at Avenal State Prison in Central California. His essay was sent to On Faith by Karen Lam, a friend.
By Jimmy Wu |
December 18, 2008; 3:10 PM ET
Share: Email a Friend |
Technorati
| Del.icio.us | Digg | Facebook
Previous: Walking the Episcopal Tightrope |
Next: Why Hanukkah Still Matters
Posted by: kmtd8 | December 26, 2008 1:22 AM
Report Offensive Comment
Jimmy,
The name of the play is "The Castle." If you click onto the link for the Fortune Society, you can read about it.
Best regards,
Farnaz
Posted by: Farnaz2 | December 24, 2008 10:54 PM
Report Offensive Comment
Dear Jimmy,
Everyone who has posted to you wishes you the very, very best. Below is the link for the Fortune Society. As I write, four ex-convicts, all felons, with a total of more than seventy years incarceration, are acting in a play off Broadway that THEY WROTE. They wrote it, and they are the only actors.
I had the enormous good fortune to speak with them recently. All are employed at very good jobs, have families, etc.
Please contact them. Since meeting these four people, I've done considerable research into the Fortune Society and hope to volunteer for them.
God bless you, Jimmy, and have a wonderful new year!
Posted by: Farnaz2 | December 24, 2008 10:50 PM
Report Offensive Comment
Dear Mr Wu
Farnaz has brought home an important point: prayer alone is insufficient. You are going to need a lot of support when you reenter the world in six months. Your basic needs must be met, you need a loving supportive community which helps you to find your way in the world, which will be considerably harder because you spent time in prison. But do not despair!
One of the important things, as NEVERMORE53 also pointed out, is to forgive yourself, forgive others, accept your past and let it go, and be determined to start afresh, no matter what obstacles may stand in the way. Have the courage to face your past as a memory, no more. The life before you ended up in prison and the circumstances that led up to it, are just memories of your past. Once you leave the prison in six months, your life in prison will also become just a memory. You must keep your eyes focussed on the future, on what you can become, not what you were or what you did or experienced in your past.
May the six months that remain be a time of intense preparation of your heart and mind for the life of freedom when you leave prison. Rejoice! Rejoice! Rejoice!
One more option apart from the one Farnaz listed is the local office of Catholic Charities USA. Catholic Charities agencies serve people of all faiths. They provide a wide range of services — housing, emergency services, health care, child care, adoption, and other critical services.
Catholic Charities USA
Sixty-Six Canal Center Plaza, Suite 600 Alexandria, VA 22314
Main Switchboard: (703) 549-1390
http://www.catholiccharitiesusa.org/NetCommunity/Page.aspx?pid=292
Posted by: s_j_thaikattil | December 24, 2008 10:14 PM
Report Offensive Comment
Dear Jimmy,
I wish you the very best. When you are released, get in touch with the Fortune Society, ASAP. You can find them on the web. They will help you in every imaginable way, with everything from finding a decent place to live, to furthering your education, to getting a job, etc.
Be well, and stay strong!
Farnaz
Posted by: Farnaz2 | December 24, 2008 2:22 PM
Report Offensive Comment
Dear Jimmy,
With all due respect to Soja and Jamil, in case you are not particularly interested in Jesus or Allah, here is another suggestion.
Find it in your heart to forgive not only others but also yourself. Not because of a god, but because it is the right thing to do. Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and search for your soul, look deep inside yourself and you will find that you are a beautiful human being. Let go of despair, misery, grief, anger and bitterness and see the sunshine in yourself.
It is not easy, but it can be done.
Once you attain freedom, I wish you a life without troubles and hope you can enjoy the world the way it is. There is always some darkness somewhere, but eventually the light will shine, the birds will sing, the leaves on the trees will softly rustle, and peace will flow over you!
Merry Christmas and Best Wishes for the New Year!
Posted by: Nevermore53 | December 24, 2008 1:04 PM
Report Offensive Comment
Dear Mr Wu
I'm sorry to hear of your struggles in prison. Now that you have nearly finished serving your time, you could try to forgive yourself? Let go of the anger, bitterness and frustration in degrees? Better still surrender it to God, when you feel the urge to pray.
Here a short prayer that might help, which does not require any great effort. It is sure to bring you some peace if you reflected on it in your heart and reached out to the one whose love is deeper than you can imagine and who accepts and loves you unconditionally. His birth Christians the world over celebrate: Jesus Christ.
The prayer: Lord Jesus Christ, my Savior and God, have mercy on me a sinner.
Say it softly first, then say it mentally, become aware of your breathing. Coordinate it with your breathing after a while. Say it as many times a day as possible, until it becomes as natural as breathing.
The repetitive nature of the prayer and the coordination with the breathing is sure to calm you down a bit. And who knows what might come of it. Let the Spirit of God lead you where He will.
Maybe you could ask for a Bible and read from it.
It is just a suggestion.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2009!
Rejoice that in six months a new world of freedom awaits you. Trust the future in God's hands for He cares for you.
Soja John Thaikattil
Sydney, Australia
Posted by: s_j_thaikattil | December 24, 2008 7:18 AM
Report Offensive Comment
Jimmy Wu
I salute to your patience and courage and struggle to know Allah(Name of the Gog).
Here is how To Live Happily According to Islam:
Everyone dreams of and demands a life full of happiness. In some belief, happiness comes with effort and hardwork. Of course nothing comes without making any effort, but 'true' happiness only comes by following these steps. After putting your best efforts, it is time to...
1.Alhamdollilah -- Be thankful
Be thankful to God Almighty for everything He has given to you. Say "Al-ham-do-lil-lah" (every praise is just for Allah).
Be content with what you have, do not crave for what others have, because this will make you feel jealous.
Do not compare yourself with those who are 'rich and famous' because this will cause you bitterness and you will not be able to be thankful.
But, do compare yourself with those who are 'poor and infamous' and be thankful to God Almighty that you are more fortunate, Alhamdolillah.
Every time you see something beautifull and pleasant, say Alhamdolillah.
Say Alhamdolillah very often daily and God Almight shall fill your heart with happiness and shall suffice.
2.Astughfirullah -- Seek forgiveness
Be thankful and be content with God's blessings, seek forgiveness from God Almighty for your slips and falls, sins, bitterness, etc.
Seek forgiveness, say As-tugh-fir-ullah. Everytime a bad thought touches to your mind.
Seek forgiveness, whenever you feel bitter either for some shortcoming of life or craving for what others have and you do not have.
Seek forgiveness, at least 5 times a day. Not only it is your duty but this is the way to be blessed by God Almighty.
3.Ista'aza -- Seek God's shelter from Satan
According to Islam, every man has a satan who misleads him towards sins and misdeeds like craving, abuse, skipping prayers, back biting, etc. The best way to get rid of satan is, Ista'aza. Say Aa-ozoo-billahi-minash-shaitaan-nir-rajeem.Seek God's shelter as many times a day as possible because satan has sworn to mislead humans.
Aa-ozoo-billahi-minash-shaitaan-nir-rajeem is a way to be protected by Allah Raheem, God Almighty shall protect your heart from evil, greed and other spiritual diseases. He shall also protect your mind from subliminal thoughts and fill your mind with true wisdom and comfort.
4.Sabar -- have patience
You do you work with full effort and hardwork; you expect great result. Sometimes you get the expected result and sometimes you don't. When you do not get the expected result, rather than getting bitter and complaining, have patience. Say Inna-lillahi-wa-inna-ilayhi-rajioon.
In holy book Quran Allah subhaan says, "Oh Believers! steady with patience and prayers. Indeed Allah is with those; who have patience"
I pray may you succeed in your mission of knowing and feeling Allah near you which is a very great achievement- infinity in dimension.
Posted by: jamil51 | December 24, 2008 12:07 AM
Report Offensive Comment
The comments to this entry are closed.












Congratulations Jimmy, amongst unbelievable horror, you have managed to find that wonderful space that exists within us where each of us can eventually know peace.
Experience has taught me that we are best helped by those who have had similar experiences. As you make your transition from prison, who better to help you than an organisation such the Fortune Society.