I grew up outside of Philadelphia in an interfaith family. My mother was Catholic and my father is Jewish. When my parents first met in the late 1950’s, they faced a great deal of opposition- mostly from their own parents. They came from a generation that did not accept interfaith relationships and were deeply opposed to their relationship and pending marriage. After my parents got married, they struggled to mend relations with their families. Both of my grandmothers stopped speaking to my parents and basically disowned them. It took many years to re-establish ties with the family, which caused many painful fights for both of my parents. My mother’s mother came around first, and my sister and I had a very close relationship with her. My father’s mother never accepted my mother, but tried to create a relationship with my sister and me – but it was often tense and strained due to the conflict.
Despite these trials or perhaps because of them, my parents raised my sister and me in an open and accepting environment. We were encouraged to follow our own beliefs and live a life that was good – the religion didn’t matter. We would sometimes go to church with my mom for Easter and Christmas mass, and occasionally with my dad to synagogue. They made it very clear that it was our choice to decide what religion, if any, we would follow.
Last year, I made the decision to convert to Judaism. My husband is Jewish and as I thought about creating a life together and a family, I decided that I wanted to be able to share traditions and build a foundation together.
Rabbi Bonnie Grosz, who helped me through the conversion process, told me about an opportunity to visit Israel. I responded to an outreach by JWorld, an Israeli production company working with the Union for Reform Judaism in the United Sates, on a television series about children of interfaith marriages interested in their Jewish roots. After an audition process, I was chosen to be the subject of this television series and the next thing you know, I was on a plane to Israel.
I arrived in Tel Aviv on a hot June day. I was met at the airport by a very welcoming crew and briefed on the journey we were about to set out upon. They had arranged for me to travel from Tel Aviv up through the north of Israel to Rosh Pina, Galilee and the Golan Heights area to meet six very different people, each of which have been on their own personal journeys to discover how they define themselves.
Some of the people I met in Israel reflected aspects of my own life. In Rosh Pina, I met Shiri Havkin, who like myself, lost her mother at a very young age Shiri had worked in Tel Aviv until her mother was diagnosed with cancer. As her mother battled the disease, Shiri made the decision to move to Rosh Pina to help her mother. After her mother passed away, Shiri stayed on at her mother’s house to continue her work in herbal medicines and in music and dance. Shiri finds peace and spiritual connection by carrying on this legacy and to keep her mother’s spirit alive.
Another person I met was Mark Rotera of Shorashim, near the Lebanese border. Much like me, Mark turned out to be an American of interfaith heritage, raised by a Protestant mother and an Israeli Jewish father. Originally from Chicago, he moved to Israel to connect with his roots. Mark and his family invited me to stay for the Sabbath dinner. I had never participated in a seder before and I was very touched by the way this tradition brought the family together to celebrate. Mark and I discussed the idea of labels and how it they can be too confining. Mark and his wife come from very different backgrounds, his family practiced Reform Judaism and his wife comes from a strict Orthodox family, yet they have found ways to observe their faith together by accepting each other’s views and creating new family traditions together.
With my trip to Israel, it helped to reignite my desire to learn more about the Jewish faith. Through the people I met, they showed me some traditions that I’d like to continue in my life and inspired me to learn more about the faith, traditions and culture and how I want to try to incorporate that into my family. I want our traditions to reflect the faith that will bring our family together.
Jennifer Berenbaum’s journey to Israel was broadcast recently as part of a series called “Israel Journal” on the show New Morning on the Hallmark Channel. The complete episodes will also be available after January 1 at www.faithstreams.com.
