How can readers ascertain whether they are reading the real thing or a fraudulent apology meant to “con” the public in order to “get off easy?” I will use the recent Donald Imus apology, still fresh in the minds of many readers, to offer such an analysis.

The initial problem with the apology is that Imus offered it in installments over a period of several days. This suggests that the public found each one lacking and that Imus was failing to make a connection with his audience, many of whom found his remarks offensive.

The most important part of any apology is the identification of the offender and the offended and a meaningful acknowledgment of the offense. The offense was Imus’ description of the female basketball players as “nappy-headed-hos.” His acknowledgement was: “We want to take a moment to apologize for an insensitive and ill-conceived remark we made the other morning referring to the Rutgers women’s basketball team. It was completely inappropriate, and we can understand why people were offended. Our characterization was thoughtless and stupid, and we are sorry.” Imus added that the remarks went too far.

There are three problems with his acknowledgment. One is the identity of the “we.” Who is the other person or people? The second problem is the lack of context and understanding of the meaning of the offense to the victims. What damage was done? Why was the characterization thoughtless and stupid and why would or should people be offended? Why did the offending statement go too far? Do his remarks have anything to do with racism and sexism? The third problem is his limiting his offense to the single utterance of three words when in fact he has been offending people over a 30-year period. His characterization of the offense is therefore superficial and disingenuous.

Critical to any apology is the offender’s expression of humility. Imus’ comment: “They need to know that I’m a good person who said a bad thing” is inappropriate. It is not for him, particularly in the current crisis, to determine that he is a “good person.”

Finally, offenders commonly offer explanations as part of the apology to explain and attempt to mitigate the seriousness of the offense. Imus’ explanation was, “what I did was make a stupid, idiotic mistake in a comedy context” and that “blacks routinely use such vulgarity.” This explanation is an attempt to justify or minimize what he said and thereby diminish the offense. An explanation such as: “There is no excuse for what I did” would be more honest and dignified.

Finally, Imus tells us that he will not repeat the offense in the future. Again, there is no acknowledgment and explanation for the many similar offenses in the past, so where is his credibility for such a promise for the future?

On many counts, Imus’ apology is inadequate!

I wish Imus would have made the following apology.

"I have spent the last 30 years of my life providing entertainment and humor by offending people. Some of these people seem to enjoy the interchange and the publicity it gained them. Now, after directing my harsh and vulgar humor towards 10 admirable college women (mostly African-American), I have become aware (perhaps for the first time) I am ashamed to say, of the damage I have been doing. I have been humiliating people. Humiliation, I have read, is tantamount to murder – murder of the self. Just listen to just a few of the young women’s responses:

“This has scarred me for life.” “Imus has stolen a moment of pure grace from us.” “We were stripped of this moment by the degrading comments made by Mr. Imus” “What should have been a shining moment for the team…has been “stolen” by the controversy?” “His message was conveyed to so many people. Can you imagine how many people think there is some truth behind the joke?” “I’m not a hos, I’m a woman. I’m someone’s child. It hurts a lot.”

These young women’s descriptions of their feelings bring me to tears: “scarred, stolen, stripped, degraded, stolen, I’m someone’s child.” It has taken the expressions of these 10 women to make me realize the damage I have done to them and to others.

In expressing my deepest apology to these 10 gifted women, I am committing myself to changing my behavior on my talk shows. If I cannot succeed as an entertainer and commentator without a hurting people, I will resign."

Dr. Aaron Lazare, the author of the 2004 book "On Apology," has served as chancellor and dean of the University of Massachusetts Medical School (UMMS) since 1991. He stepped down last month to attend to his personal health. He plans to continue to serve as the Celia and Isaac Haidak Professor in Medical Education and professor of psychiatry at UMMS.