"My -- again what I want to do in church is I want to be able to take Michelle and my girls, sit in a pew quietly, hopefully get some nice music, some good reflection, praise God, thank Him for all of the blessings He has given our family, put some money in the collection plate, maybe afterwards go out and grab some brunch, have my girls go to Sunday school. That's what I am looking for." Senator Barack Obama discussing his reasons for leaving his church this past weekend in Aberdeen, South Dakota
“Disastertunist” is the term I use to refer to that person who always manages to find an opportunity lurking in what everyone else would consider to be an unmitigated disaster. One finds disastertunists working for all successful political campaigns. Their numbers are also pronounced among venture capitalists, professional alpaca breeders, and fans of the New York Jets.
The Obama campaign is desperately in need of such individuals and I would urge its human resources division to start posting those job descriptions now. Qualified candidates must have the ability--an ability lacking among his strategists-- to immediately recognize a catastrophe when they see one.
Such a person could have helped Obama’s handlers (and perhaps The New York Times as well) confront a truth they stubbornly resisted for months. Namely, that nothing, but nothing, has threatened his victory in November more than his association with Trinity United Church of Christ.
A disastertunist is an optimist, but ultimately a realist a well. The reality is--and it must be very painful for the Senator to accept--that there are people at Trinity who don’t very much like him and don’t wish him well.
Working from these premises, our operative would have completely re-scripted that press conference in Aberdeen, S.D., this past Saturday night. There, Obama finally took the first step: he acknowledged catastrophe and parted ways from Trinity.
The problem was that he did so in subdued and measured tones, as if he were commenting on some failed legislation concerning biofuel subsidies.
Worse yet, Barack Obama showed us, once again, that he is a good and decent man. He spoke thoughtfully and without rancor about his feelings. He even expressed concern for the well being of parishioners at his former house of worship. The relentless media scrutiny, he declaimed, might be adversely affecting them.
But a disastertunist would have never stood for that. “Today Senator,” she would have told him, “is the first day of your successful presidential run, and the last day of your association with the radical Left. Today, Senator, you slam the door on the way out.”
She would have stage-managed the scene so that journalists used terms like, “exasperated,” “visibly angry," irascible" to describe his performance. They would have reported that Obama tore into Wright, Pfleger, Ayers -- Why stop there? -- the South Side and Chicago too!
And it would not have escaped her attention that the Senator now has an opportunity like no other candidate in presidential history. He has lost his Church mid-election and desperately needs a new one (how many times has that ever happened?). Surely, an electorally lucrative congregation can be identified somewhere in this great country of ours.
As she plans his phoenix-like assent, here are four possible strategies that might help him make the best of this unique chance to defeat the man who represents Phoenix:
Go where you can spread the Word: In the spirit of reconciliation and Christian fellowship, would it not be a masterstroke for Senator Obama to join a congregation filled with the very White Blue Collar Americans who have rejected him in frightening numbers since Reverend Wright made headlines in March? Appalachian First Baptist would be my choice.
Go to a non-radical African-American Church: Is Black Liberation Theology the only intellectual tradition in Black America that thinks seriously about social justice? Of course not.
Go ecumenical: Presidential candidates are so peripatetic anyway: why not have him become an honorary member of a different house of worship representing a different religious tradition each week? No one shines in front of a religious audience like Barack Obama. And placing him on a “Religious Diversity and Discovery Tour” would expose him to markets that John McCain lacks the ability to crack.
Go Jewish: Although not all Jewish voters support him, the many who do show more enthusiasm for Obama than any candidate I can ever recall. Having this talented, wayward mensch become a Member of the Tribe will secure him the Jewish vote in Florida and across the land. Sure, we don't pass the collection plate, but we run about two dozen fundraisers a week, a surprisingly high number of which involve the sale and consumption of blueberry bagels.
Go secular: Claim that the whole Trinity experience has led you to rethink your stated desire to rethink the role of religion in public life. (The downside: If you did this you will be raising alpacas in December)
(For more information about religion and the candidates check out Faith 2008 by the Berkley Center for Religion, Peace & World Affairs.)
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