Consider this the first installment in my “Presidential Campaign Managers' Worst Faith and Values Nightmare” series. (Your applause and shouted words of encouragement are richly appreciated, though not entirely necessary). The purpose of these experimental posts is to ask what types of mishaps involving religious issues might lead a political handler to turn to The Bottle, non-prescription drugs, “spirituality,” what have you.
Starting with the Republicans--who are, quite frankly, offering up more possibilities for fictional adaptation this election season than their dramatically underperforming counterparts--I ask myself what sort of misadventures lie ahead for Rudy Giuliani. Were I to be running the campaign of the GOP frontrunner, a few scenarios would deprive me of deep, restful REM sleep.
One fear is that somewhere between now and the Iowa Caucus (presently scheduled for January 3) any two of the following three candidates -- John McCain, Fred Thompson, or Mitt Romney -- drops out of the race. This would leave America’s Mayor in a one-on-one dance-off with a contender who, struttin’ his stuff for the conservative Christian masses, will play up his record on abortion and gay marriage. Evangelical leaders, sensing an opportunity to unify their fractured constituency would promptly ratchet up the anti-Rudy rhetoric to a deafening howl.
Then again, Mr. Giuliani polls solidly among traditional Protestants. For some pundits this is a statistical anomaly, one that will reverse itself come January. They advocate what I called “The Hee-Haw Theory of Evangelical Political Literacy.” This refers to the misguided belief that Evangelicals are countrified dimwits who don’t follow the news and know nothing about Giuliani’s stances on abortion and gay marriage.
The distinct possibility exists, however, that most are acutely aware of his positions and still plan on voting for him anyway. If this is indeed the case, than Conservative Christian leaders are the ones who will be experiencing nightmares—nightmares about being unable to lead.
Next up: Team Giuliani studies John Kerry’s 2004 campaign and shudders in fear.
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