BOSTON—He was married once, for 13 years. They bought and sold a few houses together. One day she told him she was seeing someone else, and he packed his things and tucked them into a corner of the garage. Now, Jim Oldread’s things are few: A backpack, his clothes, the change in his pockets from the day’s panhandling with a cup on a sidewalk.
Back then, he still believed in heaven, or at least that Roman Catholic version of it he had learned in Sunday school. Now he believes more in what he calls karma, or “do the right thing and good things will happen to you. Do the wrong thing and bad things will happen to you.”
That’s the sum of pretty much everything life has taught him in 46 years, four of which he’s spent on the streets of Boston, mostly trying and failing to be sober.
Oldread comes by drinking naturally: He grew up admiring an alcoholic father and hard-drinking uncles who drank themselves senseless at Patriot’s games. Back in the years when he was married and living in a house, he and his buddy would split a six pack on their way home everyday from his construction job. He drank then, but not as much as he does today.
Now, there is nothing really stopping him, except the fear that this winter may be his last. Also, the nagging thought that if he’s ever going to do anything more with his life, he'd better get to detox.
He doesn’t know if there is a God in the formal sense that he’s been taught, but sometimes on a clear night before he sleeps, he looks up at the sky in wonder and thinks about all those stars.
“I know that there is something definitely bigger than me,” he says. “If people choose to call it God, fine.”
There’s a rhythm to the street, a routine that comes with staying alive and making enough money to buy whatever one needs – alcohol, clothes, food. In harsh winter weather, doorways, homeless shelters, soup kitchens, the public library, and train stations all offer respite from frigid cold and wind.
Oldread wears a hooded sweatshirt, a coat and dirty jeans. His dark eyes appear slightly sunken in a face that bears the stubble of a man who hasn’t shaved in a while. He is missing some teeth.
Still, with so much grayness around him – gray buildings, gray concrete, the grayness of dirty snow -- he thinks about beautiful things. Sometimes beauty comes in unlikely places – the view from his bed on the street, pictures in a book.
“You know what I did today?” he says. “I spent the day at the public library, going through a Salvador Dali book.”
He has been thinking about Dali today, about all those warped and beautiful images.
“I think we’re here to help one another and to better things, you know, just to make a difference, make a change,” he says when asked why human beings are put on earth. “We’re here to do the right thing.”
The “right thing” can be hard sometimes to figure out. But Oldread says you have only to look in your heart to know. “You just feel it,” he says.
Sometimes Oldread hangs out with a guy named “Brother George.” Brother George is a tall thin man, stooped at the shoulder and gentle in his speech and ways. He and Oldread sometimes watch each other’s belongings.
The soul of America is suffering, says Brother George, who's about to count out the day’s change in the Back Bay train station so he can buy dinner – a hot dog loaded with onions and relish and ketchup and mustard.
Brother George’s words come out in a heavy accent, a remnant of a Romanian childhood before he came to America to escape communism when he was 25. He says he’s lived in Boston for 32 years and worked at a factory in Brookline before becoming homeless.
The years on the street have not been kind to him. “Last winter I spent all outside in front of the flower shop with blankets,” says George.
Asked if he has faith, he answers without pause. “I have faith in Lord Jesus, God. He is with the poor. We each have comfort.”
Oldread’s faith is less prescribed, less defined. Jesus doesn’t really enter the conversation. And he seems less clear than Brother George on where he will go after he dies.
“If you had asked me this 15 years ago, I think I would have said heaven. Now I’m not so sure,” he said. “I believe we go to a better place.”
At least it’ll be better than spending winter nights on the street.
America, for him, is filled with beauty but also great disparity and hypocrisy, too.
“I think if I were searching for the soul of America, I would go right where I am right now, right on the street, because that’s where people really see America…. at least see what it’s really like,” he says. “I sit out there and I panhandle and a guy walks by in a $3,000 Armani suit and he can’t afford a quarter? It’s like, check yourself, buddy.”
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Comments (10)
NO MORE MR. & MRS. NICE GUY!
You killed "ALLAH" and now Allah is no-more "AKBAR" (Not Great!)!
We, not American's , not Israeli's, but ECLATi-ON(s), of Space-Ship Earth, Will annhilliate your KABBA & your AL AQSA mosque in JERUSALEM !
Please, you have 72 Hours from this post , or else!!!!
Islam will be NO MORE! Good bye KABBA! Good bye AL AQSA!
Remember, surrender Mr. Osama Bin Laden , et al, or else!
The Destruction of the Kabba, like World trade Center's will be the fault of the Bin Ladin FAMILY!
We will Execute All your 73 Children & ALL of Mr. Osama's Family! et al!
WE win you loose! Ya Ya!
G-D Bless E*C*L*A*Ti-ON's!
'Chara' Islam & 'Gondoo' Islam! [Shiiiiit] Ya Ya!
O.U.R. PEOPLE are in position!
Good bye KABBA, good bye Al AQSA DOME!
This is not a game not a Test! You weill see!
Mr. Osama Bin Ladin et al, Last Time, Please
"Surrender" (DEAD or ALIVE), surrender in less than seventy two hours!!!!! Ya Ya!
P.S.: Pakisatan is "The VANGUARD of ISLAM" yet ECLATi-ON(s) are the VANGUARDS of SPACE-SHIP PLANET EARTH!
This is O.U.R. Prophecy not your's Islam!
December 28, 2007 5:06 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on December 28, 2007 05:06
Search for soul within.
GEN 2:7 And the LORD god formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
PRO 24:12 If thou sayest, behold, we knew it not; doth not he that pondereth the heart consider it? And he that keepeth thy soul, doth not he know it? And shall not he render to every man according to his works?
ECC 2:24 There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of god.
ECC 6:2 A man to whom god hath given riches, wealth, and honour, so that he wanteth nothing for his soul of all that he desireth, yet god giveth him not power to eat thereof, but a stranger eateth it: this is vanity, and it is an evil disease.
LAM 3:17 And thou hast removed my soul far off from peace: I forgat prosperity.
LAM 3:20 My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.
LAM 3:25 The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
MAT 16:26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
MAT 10:28 And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.
LUK 12:20 But god said unto him, thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?
ROM 13:1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of god: the powers that be are ordained of god.
CO1 15:45 And so it is written, the first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit.
HEB 4:12 For the word of god is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
HEB 6:19 Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil;
HEB 10:38 Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him.
JAM 5:20 Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.
PE2 2:8 ( for that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed his righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful deeds;)
JO3 1:2 Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.
December 28, 2007 2:36 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on December 28, 2007 02:36
I'm 62 an have worked for a living before coming down with organic dysfunctions I did not expect. I'm still functional in things which don't require a lot of strength and endurance. What seems so obvious to me about the gentlemen mentioned in the article is, "I know that there is something definitely bigger than me,” he says. “If people choose to call it God, fine.”". God or no God is not really the issue of mere survival. A dead man has no thoughts of God. God may have thoughts after death, but it's not His death after all.
GEN 2:2 And on the seventh day god ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.
Ok. So what was He living on? You mean He just went back to work after the seventh day for another six days only to take another daybreak the next seventh day? Why not?
GEN 5:29 And he called his name Noah, saying, this same shall comfort us concerning our work and toil of our hands, because of the ground which the LORD hath cursed.
We think of Noah as some kind of sailor that kept livestock. The details are deeper because of "the curse". It does not say God had employment problems. It says men had employment problems.
GEN 3:22 And the LORD god said, behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:
GEN 3:23 therefore the LORD god sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.
GEN 3:24 So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.
Was the "curse" imposed for reasons of human survival, or for the survival of Creation?
The truth probably is closer to the fact that ancient prehistorical cultures of primitive neolithic humans hunted, gathered, and fished until the food supply ran scarce. Then they had to move on to find more if they weren't herding or farming.
Oh, GEN 4:2 And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.
Anyway, the details between anthropology and Biblical discourse are a matter of understanding the process by comparison, to only find that the evidence backs the story.
So, what about the legacy of Cain? Cain was a city dweller after he slew Abel. Cities in the ancient world were refuges for the offenders.
Are modern city dwellers offenders? Not until they offend. So, why is employment such a difficult service commodity? Trust? Qualification? Ability?
CO1 8:1 Now as touching things offered unto idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth.
CO1 13:1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
CO1 13:2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
CO1 13:3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
CO1 13:13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
MAT 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
MAT 5:5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
PE1 3:4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of god of great price.
December 28, 2007 2:11 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on December 28, 2007 02:11
I couldn't have stated it any better than what I found here: http://www.tentmaker.org/Biblematters/bestbibletranslation.htm
Human culture and it's children civilizations are still treading the waters of life after 20,000 to 50,000 years of biological development in the physical domain. Yet the human brain in which so much of the control functions reside, is still a very primitive organ. It takes orders from simpler organs such as the heart, the skin, the internal organs, the muscles, etc. and has little time to itself to ponder its lonely perch atop a bony frame in a bony globe with holes for inputs and outputs.
When it does have time to reflect internally as it gathers inputs during its waking moments it is a matter of spirit. New word for spirit is information energy. Yet the very existence of the whole body organism is virtually at the mercy of the bundle of nerves in the bony globe at the top. It has to manage the control functions of the rest of the system.
What is in the nerve matter in that bony globe is of two simpler kinds. Voluntary and involuntary. The involuntary regulates the pumps, valves, biochemical factories of cellular maintenance. It does the infra structure so to say. The voluntary is the clearinghouse for the sensory inputs that require choice. That is the decision making complex that keeps the integration between the involuntary and the voluntary "self".
How the voluntary manages the decisions has a lot to do with the future of the whole body. A "memory" or reserved area for information storage, can recall sensory experience in it's native format, ie. sound, light, etc. for use in comparative evaluation. It can store very complex symbolic structures to optimize the management of internal information that is correlated with the external world to such a fine degree that it can negotiate velocities in space that are beyond its actual physical ability.
This "learning curve" has definite advantages in the real universe, however, the risk/cost/benefit equation, (a complex parametric algorithm) is at best tentative as it is well known to converge to a terminal condition when the system as a whole finally goes chaotic and collapses from its weakest point.
Therfore, if ther be any advice from the wisdom of tens of thousands of years of cumulative cultural experience, let it be known that man did not create himself, he is not a super creature of infinite possibility and endurance, and that the limits of the lifespan are not to be diluted in a sea of numbers of others; for lack of potential. It is the real day to day sustainability of everyday life that adds potential energy to the kinesis of living.
It is a "closed" universe of physical reality that is touched and lived in. Only the dynamics keep life alive. The limits of these dynamics are its bounds.
December 28, 2007 1:31 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on December 28, 2007 01:31
BEHOLD!
Att: SAUDi ARABIA at MECCA via KABBA!
Hear ye Hear Ye, The KABBA will be destroyed in 72 Hours, unless Al Quada Surrenders! no Compromise!
Surren Mre. Bin Laden Et al, Dead or alive!!!!!!
We, not American's , but ECLATi-ON(s) Will annhilliate your KABBA & your AL AQSA mosque in JERUSALEM !
Pleas, you have 72 Hours from this post , or else!!!!
Islam will be NO MORE! Good bye KABBA! Good bye AL AQSA!
Remember, surrender Mr. Osama Bin Laden , et al, or else! The Destruction of the Kabba, like World trade Center's will be the fault of the Bin Ladin FAMILY!
We will Execute All your 73 Children Mr. Osama, et al!
Ya Ya!
December 27, 2007 7:53 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on December 27, 2007 19:53
I believe the principle alluded to is called The Law of Cause and Effect.
You can not escape, your own karma or internal/external causes and effects.
In Buddhism what is being described is called Pure Land Buddhism, or a belief that you will go to a better place than you already are.
In True Mahayana Buddhism the understanding there is nowhere else than where you are right now, is a reality!
Patrick
December 26, 2007 6:41 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on December 26, 2007 18:41
I spent a few years on the streets, back in the early 90's. I didn't fall to the streets, I just ended up there because I had nowhere else specifically I wanted to be, it's the default location.
I never picked up the booze and the drugs though, but not because of some superior morality, I just didn't like them. Maybe I'm lucky that way.
Not everybody on the streets is a drunk, some are just 'travelers', people who don't connect anywhere, people who find that though life on the streets sucks ... it can be done.
I never panhandled either. You can eat at soup kitchens, every city has some way to feed the homeless. But you can't buy booze for free, panhandlers are begging for drinking money.
You can find work at tempo day labor locations all over the states. You don't make very much, you don't work every day, but you do earn your own money.
I left my brother there because he did become a drunk, and he's still there to this day.
From my personal experience I have both higher and lower opinions of the people there than the "charitable" types who may read this blog.
My brother is a drunk because his misery is more important to him than his life, more important than how much it hurts the people who love him. The only thing more selfish and self-pitying than being a street drunk is suicide.
At the same time, I know my brother would take a bullet for me and feel his life had been worth living. I knew many street drunks who were like that. When I first hit the streets they were the ones who protected me while I learned the ropes.
One fine evening near the trainyards in Salt Lake City I saw three junkies show up in the area where many of the homeless were hanging out. They had just scored some chiva (black tar heroin) and were shooting it up. I left to go get a couple of whoppes at the burger king, when I got back I saw the two men stuffing the women into a dumpster. She had overdosed, she wasn't breathing, and these druggies were too scared and too high to even try to help her.
I knew where a pay phone was, I called 911, but she was dead.
The next night I saw some guy trying to cross the street when a big gas tanker was taking a right. instead of waiting for it to pass he ran underneath it and struck his head on the pipes, knocking himself flat. I saw the truck slowly running over him, like it didn't care. I saw it continue through the turn, shift into a higher gear, and drive on up the road. Like it didn't care.
Man, life on the street can be so cheap. That's what got me back into the world, I wasn't going to go like that.
You can help alleviate some of their suffering, you can try to make their day today a little better than their day was yesterday, but you can't change any of their sad stories.
For many of them life is just an ongoing accident, and there's nothing you can do about that.
December 26, 2007 4:38 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on December 26, 2007 16:38
being on the streets can bring out the worst, but also the best in people
i hope ms mckerney bought this guy a hamburger,(im sure she did) and appreciate the focus she kept on his story and bringing it to us
December 26, 2007 10:45 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on December 26, 2007 10:45
i think perhaps the proper title for your piece should have been....people on the streets ...search 4 the soul of the blessed... who sometimes seem too have neither compassion nor genorosisty or most times even a look to those less fortunate. they look above, below and around them and pretend they are not there 4 some reason. 4 what ever reason a human being suffers the important part i think... is they suffer. people who have no grace, no compassion, no empathy or sympathy for another human or who think all that are homeless are drug addicts drunks and severely mentaly ill or are some kind of different species are just fooling themselves so they won't feel guilty aboutdoing nothing. one has the right to do nothing but not 2 bee dis-inn-genie-us about it eye thinke. i am have many conversations with homeless people in tallahassee and find them to be on the whole maybe a little more decent than some well dressed well educated people i know. i'm not saying they are all saints just human as am i and U . they come in all kinds
if chance or circumstance changed they would again fit right into our world the same way that each of us could and might some day fit into thiers.....
December 25, 2007 2:07 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on December 25, 2007 02:07
I think, such ideas of hope and faith become *less-defined,* because you pretty much don't *get* to the street without having had a lot of specific promises broken. Some will try to appease such a view of 'God' by becoming the more strident, (and they tend to cluster) ...And many more understand that it was never about the complications comfortable people negotiate about their Armani suits and pious-yet-ruthlessly-capitalist Christian agendas.
Life does gain a certain immediacy, which is really nothing to romanticize: frankly, being poor is hard work, and survival needs do take a lot of effort and attention.
Yes, there is beauty and hypocrisy to America: it hardly makes the news when they drop twenty billion to 'bail out' millionaires and their banks that get screwed by their own 'free market' profiteering, but will they 'bail out' citizens living in the cold for thirty years cause a 'sanctified' marriage failed, or piously bleat that it can't be afforded, should be left to the churches, or whatever the excuse of the week is?
See, Christian missionaries mostly see of the homeless world, ..those who come to their doors and sit and beg on cue. (not to be *too* uncharitable, but, frankly, I never got offered a meal from them in my life that wasn't 'too expensive,' to accept, in terms of soul. Fortunately, it seems my metabolism could get by on maybe a couple hundred calories a day.)
Anyway, a lot of these missionaries *think* they're doing a 'heck of a job,' cause they only *see* people *they personally feed,* and think that's how it should be.
But the *systems* leave many more people out.
And, frankly, a lot of folks who get their food from there walk away with ideas it's the fault of 'non-christians' and 'sinners' that they were poor in the first place.
It's funny, though. I hardly wear Armani, these days, ...Gods, the shirt I'm *wearing* was trashpicked a long time ago, ...still, I've been off the street a long time, and when homeless people come up to me like I'm a respectable citizen, I don't even *get* it at first. 'No, waitaminnit, I actually *do* have spare change.'
Weird.
Not to slag too much on Christian charity, but, wouldn't it be easier not to vote for corporate Bible-waving, job-exporting bastiches in the first place?
December 24, 2007 8:43 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on December 24, 2007 20:43