ACTON, Mass. -- It is summer and a van full of older teenage girls has pulled into the driveway of Hybid Farm. Some have eating disorders. Others may abuse alcohol or drugs. Some cut themselves. Some may have engaged in prostitution. None of this really matters.
For two hours of grooming, saddling and riding horses, they are simply like every other Hybid student – they are children who ride horses.
During the lesson, I lead an older teen on a horse at a trot, half steadying her with my hand on her calf while I run beside the horse and teach her how to balance and steer. She is scared but completely thrilled. Many of these kids have never touched a horse let alone ridden one. My heart is in my throat as I think how brave she is.
Later, back in the barn, Rita-Marie McConnon threads through the crowd of teens and helpers getting horses groomed and put away before dark. Along the way, she helps show the girls little skills like which brushes to use, how to pick rocks out hooves, how to lead the horses.
She brushes past me in the aisle full of horses and people, her smile lit from within. She stops and bends toward my ear. “This is why we’re here,” she whispers.
By that, she means this is why we teach. But she also means we all have a calling -- to love each other and to love God.
Rita-Marie McConnon knows what it means to be an angry young kid, to do things because you’re mad and hurt and want to hurt yourself and others. She was there once, many years ago, before she became a wife and mother, before she found her church. She never got into any serious trouble, but she could have.
Most of her clients know her as Rita, a good and wise businesswoman, and an advocate of children and ponies. She owns Hybid Farm, a horseback riding stable in Acton, Mass. Its main business is teaching riding lessons to children. Occasionally, she gives scholarships to economically disadvantaged or otherwise needy children like the residential girls. She is also a devout Mormon.
“For me, I see faith in God in everything, when the sun comes up and is incredibly beautiful, that plane flying overhead, that there’s gravity, that there’s pull and drag and lift, that it’s all here,” she said.
She doesn’t try to push her religion on anybody, not her students, not their parents, not her employees. But she tries to live her faith every day, as a businesswoman, as a teacher, as a role model to others.
“I believe that everyone is a child of God, that we are all sons and daughters of the heavenly father and that we’re all brothers and sisters,” Rita, 51, said recently from a table near one of the riding arenas at her farm. “Whenever a child walks through my barn door, they are a child of God. They are loveable and they are capable, and we treat them as such. We try to make every child feel as magnificent as they are.”
If you look closely, there are visible signs of her religion and her devotion to family. Her farm is closed to visitors on Sundays, and she cuts out a little early for church on Wednesdays. The polite young men in black slacks, white shirts and ties who show up periodically to chat with her in the driveway of her farm are missionaries from the Mormon church. One of her three sons is on a mission in Las Vegas. She counts down the days on a dry eraser board out in the barn. And if you ask her how many days until he comes home, she can tell you right down to the day, hour and maybe even the minute.
I taught horseback riding lessons at Hybid for six months, just before and after I graduated from Harvard. I’ve been riding for 27 years, but it had been years since I’d formally taught anything. My last stint of teaching was years ago as a community college writing instructor. I developed early on a stubborn refusal to give up on students – young, old, brilliant, slow, it didn’t matter. I believed – still believe -- that each individual is talented or special in some way. And no matter whether I am teaching riding or writing, it is my job to figure out what that is and to bring it into the light.
Rita shares a strong belief in the inherent goodness of human beings, and of what she sees as the beauty of all God’s creation. Horses, for her, are a way of helping children see this goodness in themselves and in other beings.
“There’s something really awesome that happens between horses and people, and especially kids. The way that they take care of them, the way that they are responsible for something other than themselves, the way that they have to care for something other than themselves is pretty awesome. It teaches them responsibility and it teaches them not to be selfish and to care for something else,” she said.
She believes horseback riding, being around a barn in a supportive atmosphere, also gives children a safe environment to grow and to feel loved.
Rita’s faith in God is evident in her closeness with her own children. Her youngest son attends high school and works around the farm. Her middle son is aiming for a career as a professional three-day eventing rider and trainer. And her oldest works in technology. All three are very close to their mother and active in the Mormon church.
Motherhood itself is an important part of Rita’s own journey toward faith. She said her first real experience with knowing for sure there is a God was when her oldest son was born in 1982.
“When the nurses put Tom in my arms, I knew for sure that there was no way that anybody, anything (but God) could create something so magnificent, so incredible, so intricate, so beautiful as a baby,” she said. “Then I knew.”
She laughs when she tells how when she first converted to Mormonism two decades ago, her husband “saw it as the ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers,’ that they were going to take over my mind, I was going to shave my head, hang around in airports,” she said, laughing softly. “He wasn’t quite sure but he knew that this was not going to be the same.”
For her, the Mormon Church was the first place she ever felt what she calls “the spirit.” She felt at home there, felt finally that she was where she was supposed to be, that this was where she wanted to raise her sons to be loving, ethical and responsible men. That decision hasn’t always been easy for them, as for many couples who have different faiths.
“I told him this was what I needed to do, that he did not have to do it if he didn’t want to but this was something that I had to do, that I had to teach my kids something that I believed in and something that I felt good at.”
Twenty years later, she has never looked back.
“Everything I do revolves around my faith. The thoughts that I have, the way that I try to live, the way that I run my business, the way that I run my house, the way that I raise my children, the way that I do my finances, all revolves around what I believe,” she said.
On the last day of riding lessons for the residential girls, we were sorry to see them go. Many hugged us and said they hoped to be back. One, who seemed to have a special connection with Rita and had made much progress with her riding over the weeks, had balked at putting away her horse on this her last day. When Rita asked the girl if she wanted to give her a hug good-bye, the girl declined, saying she didn't want to get out of the car.
That’s OK, I remember Rita telling me, smiling after the car had pulled out. She’ll get down the street and wish she had hugged me. There, I just felt it. She’s hugging me now.
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Comments (26)
When someone is trying their best to do good, why in this world would someone want to spoil that for them? Could it be that the critical comments could be coming from unhappy people?
November 27, 2007 5:21 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 27, 2007 17:21
To write a story about Rita without writing about her spirituality would be synonymous to writing a story about a card board cut-out of Rita; What’s the point? Why would anyone want to exclude what makes and drives Rita to her life of positive service, just because it’s contrary their belief or because it makes them “uncomfortable”. And to even allude to 9/11 bombers to a woman of faith and service is quite troubling, and just plain mean-spirited to say the least. Is Mother Thersa the next verbal victim? All of us with a self-proclaimed theory of “what makes us tick” – Must we deny it for the comfort of the masses? There are many people like Rita who offer themselves selflessly to others every day. They come from all religions, races, political belief. We live in the great American melting pot, and nobody should be asked to edit themselves in an article, or in life, merely for the comfort of the vocal intolerant.
November 26, 2007 9:28 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 26, 2007 09:28
Ye shall know them by their actions...by their love.
-T
November 26, 2007 12:16 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 26, 2007 00:16
I'll further add that the human heart isn't 'deceitful and desperately sick' unless *made* so.
If you see people finding some connectedness to spirit through encountering animals that have long been a deep and mutually-involved part of human life, and only see an occasion to spout that kind of bile from your Bible, forgive if it's not in horses or 'heterodoxy' that I see 'deceit and desperate sickness.'
November 25, 2007 6:48 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 18:48
You know, I was all about to say, "If a Pagan said this thinking of Epona or Mannannan or Poseidon, they'd accuse us of 'Worshipping the cration instead of the Creator."
But then....
" crewsin:
The story while heartwarming makes assertions which are contrary to Scripture. Jeremiah 17:9 says that "the (human) heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick: who can understand it,"
You got a thing against ponies?
Who can understand *that?*
November 25, 2007 6:34 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 18:34
Anytime you want to show the goodness of mankind take the kids on a fieldtrip to Dachau to show them how good people really are.
November 25, 2007 6:13 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 18:13
Anytime you want to show the goodness of mankind take the kids on a fieldtrip to Dachau to show them how good people really are.
November 25, 2007 6:13 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 18:13
I guess I misundestood the article. I thought this was a story about a woman who wanted to give something back; a woman who lived a life of hurt until she found something to believe in and something to convince her she had value. And then finding that value, she in turned wants to help others discover they are lovable...and this woman happens to be Mormon.
Why do the people on this board want to deny others their truth. Note I didn't say THE TRUTH, i said THEIR truth. Why do we devalue the journey others take to reach a point of peace and acceptance in their lives.
Is it true that many atrocities have been carried out by zealots? You bet. Have many atrocities been carried out by non-believers? You bet. Individuals are responsible for their own actions, whatever their motivations may be.
It seems responders on this board are motivated by their own biases, motives, interpretations of whatever text they hold sacred. We know nothing about the journeys of others, yet when people share their journey, if it's not to our liking then it is devalued.
I have a calling. My calling is to be the best Christian I can be, to love my neighbors, to evidence my faith by my works, to lead by example. One doesn't have to share my calling, appreciate my calling, or accept my calling. The naysayers cannot lessen what I am led by spirit to accomplish in my life. My faith cannot be shaken by persons, events in the world, or events in my life. Is it rational or based on science or logic? Nope. But it is mine, and it is my right to have it.
I do not profess to know the Bible inside and out. I cannot quote scripture at will. I do not attend churh regularly. I do not know the will or judgment of G-d. All I know is that I BELIEVE. I believe in G-d, I believe in Jesus, and I believe in the holy spirit. Adn while that may not be enough for anyone of you on this board, it is enough for me.
May G-d pour out his blessings on all of you.
And if you wonder why I use "G-d", it is because that is how I choose to show respect, not out of doctrine.
November 25, 2007 6:02 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 18:02
Interesting, isn't it, how most reviewers jumped on the hot topic of religion. It is so deep within humans that people are passionate to defend their beliefs.
Ms. McConnan is doing an admirable thing by helping troubled girls. If more people were like her, we could save kids from ending up in prisons or ruining their lives and their families. WE AS A COMMUNITY NEED TO HELP ONE ANOTHER.
Does anyone disagree?
Who said "The world will recognize followers of Jesus Christ by their love." (1 John 3) Religious or not, love is universal and the only thing that will help this hurting world.
Hats off to Ms. McKerney for her lovely storytelling.
November 25, 2007 5:46 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 17:46
Can you people read???
She says, "She doesn’t try to push her religion on anybody, not her students, not their parents, not her employees. But she tries to live her faith every day, as a businesswoman, as a teacher, as a role model to others."
If the bottom line of her religious faith is that she has generosity, creativity, patience, respect, and love, why the heck should you care how she got that way???
Your demand for a religious test -- i.e. that someone's morals and conduct should NOT come from religious faith -- is just as restrictive and prejudiced as someone who demands that morals and conduct MUST come from a religious faith.
How about we all try to get along?
November 25, 2007 5:46 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 17:46
Bill, I appreciate you not attacking her beliefs. I think the response wasn't so much about your comment on proselytizing as it was a response to Tony, Drew, Crewsin, and company. The need for Tony to start ranting about supposed brainwashing, for Drew to use the article as an excuse to bring in 9/11 and lump all religions together, and for Crewsin's need to bible bash, is all pretty stupid and ironic considering how different their own points of view are. Unfortunately, you'll often find all three of those attitudes in responses any article that even mentions religion.
You'd think that our more enlightened and tolerant generation would have an attitude more like Beth. Someone who simply says, "while I don't agree with what you say, I understand your perspective, respect your belief and right to believe, and appreciate the good things you do even if they stem from your differing beliefs." If people were more like that, much of History's conflict would have been largely avoided.
November 25, 2007 3:50 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 15:50
I still think this is a wonderful article. If people loved others as they love themselves this world would be a much better place. It would be an honor to know someone like Rita!! She has humbled herself and is a servant to others.
November 25, 2007 12:48 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 12:48
I should have said I am not attacking her beliefs.
And to say there is not proselytizing or trumpeting of Christian values going on here is a bit absurd.
November 25, 2007 12:28 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 12:28
I was wondering as I read the article how many responses it would take before someone goes on an anti-religious diatribe.
The article takes pains to show that McConnon doesn't proselytize or use the school to teach her faith (or any faith), yet we don't get far before the knee-jerk response about "indoctrinating them with religious brainwashing".
I don't see how a person can rant about racist con-men when their own anti-religious prejudices aren't any better.
I'm not religious, but I can't understand the nastiness towards those who are.
November 25, 2007 12:21 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 12:21
No one's attacking her beliefs. I don't like the parading of them.
Nor do I like the "what have you (rationalists) done for a child" lately?
Plenty, but I don't need to bring my religious beliefs or lack of them into it.
November 25, 2007 12:18 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 12:18
This was a wonderful article. I applaud Rita and her giving so freely of herself to help others in need. I am not sure why some of the other readers want to readily attack her religion. Even though I am not a Mormon and do not believe as she does, I feel she has been called to help others who are hurting. We should love one another and try to help others in this world. It should not matter what race, religion or area of the world you come from. To spread joy and love is far better than to inflict pain upon others. We we all could just abide by this, our whole world would be a better place!!
November 25, 2007 10:45 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 10:45
This was such a heartwarming story about a woman's mission in life to help kids in a way that could and does change their lives. Why people feel the need to express in detail their own religious beliefs while attacking this woman's beliefs is truly selfish. I ask those writers "What have YOU done for a kid today? Are you devoting YOUR life to helping others, Chrisitan? Mormon? Jewish? God loves everyone and YES, everyone is a child of God because we are all made in God's image. We may not end up in Heaven or wherever eternal life with God sends us, but we do start out as a perfect creature. It's those around us who tend to mess with our heads. We have to have a strong beief in our own goodness, which I personally believe comes from a relationship with God through Christ. I applaud this woman for her work with kids, eventhough her beliefs are somewhat different from mine.
November 25, 2007 10:10 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 10:10
What Would Jesus Ride? Or Moroni?
I know the value of equestrian activities for my daughter. She's crazy about horses and I'm glad.
But I (and she would too upon reading this)question the lumping in of religion with it. What drives the need to proselytize?
I always ask these people if they vote for conservative politicians who want to limit funding for social services and health care, and instead seek to perpetuate our system of "sick care." The damage that Reagan and successive Republican administrations have done while chanting "personal responsibility" is immeasurable.
November 25, 2007 9:57 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 25, 2007 09:57
I too have felt the warmth & love that comes from caring for an animal. Knowing that another depends on you, looks for your coming, trusts you. Being in a mutually beneficial relationship is a positive experience.
I have a next door neighbor who got a pit bull puppy. It was indoors for a while, but now he's got it on a chain out back. He spends so little time with it, I feel so sorry for that dog. I guess I should feel sorrier for the man; anyone who can't love an animal can't love anybody.
November 24, 2007 7:53 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 24, 2007 19:53
The story while heartwarming makes assertions which are contrary to Scripture. Jeremiah 17:9 says that "the (human) heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick: who can understand it," Paul aserts in Romans 3:23 that "all (humans) have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". Therefore no human being who has reached the age of moral accountability is a child of God except those who have made a profession of faith in Jesus Christ and been reborn in the spirit. One of the great deceptions of our age is that human beings are inherently good--they are not. All you need for proof is a look at the daily newspaper or observe a nursery of 3 year olds wanting each others toys.
November 24, 2007 11:34 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 24, 2007 11:34
It may well have something to do with God, or Godliness..and whichever denomination et.al. but I think there are just some superior people who'd be warm and wonderful in the world if they never heard of religious.
And some skunks who scream religious all day long...
But we will gladly take wonderful where ever and under which every= auspices we cand find, won't we just?
There's not that much sometimes lately...
November 22, 2007 8:04 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 22, 2007 20:04
Is that the same kinda "calling" that inspired the religious martyrs into burning infidels for Allah on 9/11?
It must feel wonderful indeed to have such a calling. I mean to feel so sure of God's love and attention...to be so certain of His Truth that one would give up ones life for the BIG GUY in the sky.
Yes,just to be near him,how sweet it would be.
But do religious people ever ask themselves the big 'what if' question,as in, "what if there ain't no god?"
If those nice religious middle eastern gentlemen had pondered that question before blowing up the world trade center,maybe they'd be alive today,along with the 3000 people they killed for god.
My hunch is there is no god;can't prove it,but it makes more sense than believing that this skygod dishes out virgins to true believers who will die for Him.
If intelligent men can be made to believe such obvious claptrap,then it reveals the persuasiveness and the sham of all the religions.
Surely, the most important lesson to be learned from 9/11 is that religion will have us believe the craziest things. And if everybody around us believes these crazy things,so will we.No matter how crazy.Like the 72 virgins bit.
The suicide bombers were not insane,stupid or evil. They were just very religious. There is no merit in being religious. After all,as far as we KNOW,there is no god.
November 22, 2007 6:27 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 22, 2007 18:27
Of course, there is nothing wrong with helping children. However, it can be done in a way without indoctrinating them with religious brainwashing. People do not need silly old superstitions-in the case of a Moromism, absurd ramblings of a racist conman who said garbage like a black man can only get to heaven as a slave- to lead a good life.
November 22, 2007 6:11 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 22, 2007 18:11
There are few things that remind us more of the beauty of God (however you define that concept) than children and animals. Beautiful story, thank you.
November 22, 2007 1:42 PM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 22, 2007 13:42
Thank you so much for giving such a wonderful Thanksgiving present to your readers. During the holidays, so many people sink into depressions and feel sorry for themselves. What a powerful lesson this lady teaches. She exemplifies a person who has learned that "in giving, we receive." In addition, those of us who are dedicated to horses, know only too well, the things that horses teach us. God bless her and the horses in her care.
November 22, 2007 11:06 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 22, 2007 11:06
Hello-
I and my kids thought this article needed some pictures of the horses!
Happy Thanksgiving-
Dr. Paula Wilson
69 South 400 East (mailing address P.O. Box 489)
Kaysville, UT 84037
Sending from a home on Pinehurst in Grand Junction, Colorado
November 22, 2007 9:49 AM | Report Offensive Comments
Posted on November 22, 2007 09:49