This may be the most quotable explanation of a lot of how I act/feel/think. When I think of the times I fail to follow even the simplest rules of my faith, it is because I find myself to be more important than that which God had commanded me to do. This only scratches the surface on the power of an ego. Most of what I say or do that I may eventually come to regret stems from my ego. Lupe expresses this in a way I could never.

In the past year, his music has increasingly found a place on my playlist. Together artists like Lupe Fiasco, Common, Mos Def, and Talib Kweli are revolutionizing rap and transcend what is seen on MTV. Their creativity and poetry has helped so many others and me to connect to my faith on a deeper level with lines that remind us that we are not alone in our struggles with faith.

My faith deepens as my music tastes expand. For over three years now my favorite album is the Garden State movie soundtrack, far from rap, but this past year, I came to appreciate hip hop, not just the pop hip hop I hear on New York’s overplayed Z-100, but the storytelling, soul-searching rhymes that leaves you wondering why YouTube doesn’t have a repeat button.

As I grow to appreciate more and more music, I come to the realization that music not only played in the background of my upbringing, but at times it was front and center of my activity. On a personal level, a necessary condition of fully reconnecting with my faith meant reconnecting with my love of music. That meant appreciating music in all its forms. The more rhymes and lyrics I let in, the more connected I feel to something deep within me, something that has always been there.

In Islam there is this idea of fitra, or unadulterated human nature, the purest state of man. Our fitra is most pure just when we are just born. It is said that there is an innate longing for God even when we are in our mother’s womb. There are those who will say that musical instruments outside of drums are forbidden in Islam. This confuses me because I find it impossible that forms as beautiful as the piano or violin can be forbidden by a beautiful God. Simple (not simplistic) logic tells us that God loves beauty, music is beauty, therefore God loves music. At lectures, Muslim scholars are often asked to definitively state whether or not music is halal or haram, and most often, at least in my experience, a smile comes onto the face of the scholar. Of course anything that leads you to do bad things is bad for you. But music? Music that spews hatred is rare. I am convinced that music of all lands and languages helps us return to our fitra.

I believe prayer as prescribed by tradition and text is the best way to connect with God. But it certainly is not the only way. If it were, God would be both bored and disappointed in His creation.

I grew up singing traditional folk songs in front of Bangladeshi uncles and aunties at cultural shows and started playing the drums in fourth grade, and despite a brief unsuccessful stint with the violin, continued through the end of high school. I even played the part of Albert Peterson in the musical Bye Bye Birdie my senior year of high school. Rhythm and melody have always been present in my life. To the azaan (call to prayer) that my dad whispered into my ear moments into my birth to the soulful Christian gospel sung by my senior year college roommate, for me, faith and music not only go hand in hand but are inextricably linked.

I went to a Kanye West concert just before graduation. My favorite song of his is “Jesus Walks.” Kanye raps “I wanna talk to God but I’m afraid cuz we ain’t spoke in so long.” Ultimately, he overcomes this fear. So have I, and so can anyone. There have been many periods in my life where I would simply go through the motions of prayer (as I just did before writing this entry), or show up to Friday prayer just to show face, hoping that the candle of faith can be relit. So often poetry, be it written or sung or rapped, has done more for me than a Friday khutbah (sermon). That is because God designed me. God knows me. And through music, I know Him.