Secret Handshakes

I have been a campus tour guide at Boston University for four-and-a-half semesters and one full summer. That adds up to hundreds of campus tours given. And on every tour that I have ever given, there is a time when it becomes apparent who the Jews in the crowd are. Sometimes it's as easy as a yarmulke or an Israeli army T-shirt on a prospective student. When I pick up on this, I’ll add some Jewish tidbits into the tour to make my Jewishness known: I’ll point out the kosher dining hall in the Hillel house, or mention the Hebrew classes I’ve taken.

Often it only becomes obvious once they figure out that I am Jewish. There is the knowing glance between parent and child when I initially say my name or mention my Israeli radio show. It sometimes comes in the form of a question: “So – do you want to be a rabbi?” or “What is Jewish life like here?” It is indeed a delicate dance between me and the Jews on my tours as we try to subtly make our common Jewishness apparent. Although we all speak, act and dress like everyone else, we maneuver to do the Jewish equivalent of a secret handshake.

This is the thing about living a modern Jewish life. We are so well assimilated that we often can’t discern each other’s Jewishness; but the paradox that keeps us going as a people is that we want to.

By Shari Rabin  |  March 20, 2008; 3:39 PM ET  | Category:  Chutzpah Chronicles
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