Lately I have been overwhelmed with the reality of graduation and everything that it entails from invitations to party decorations. Plus finding a place to live next year, packages for grad school, financial aid, and just trying to make it through the last of the semester with some kind of academic grace. However, as my parents loaded the rental car for our drive back to the airport, I took some time to reflect on the mere fact that I was there. And I remembered what my mother told me when I was in high school. She said that there will always be something to worry about. ALWAYS. And if we spend too much time worrying about the future, then we rob ourselves of the present.

Last semester I worried about the GRE, then I worried about getting into grad school, then I worried about coming out to my parents, then I worried about visiting Indiana. If I wasn't careful I would miss out on realizing and enjoying the fact that I faced all of these things and achieved them or made it through. I was still standing. I had to have faith that whatever worry I have next will eventually be taken care of. As a person with control freak tendencies, this is a very difficult thing to do. It has been my experience that when I know a situation is bigger than me and that my ability to control its outcome is little to none, I am a lot more willing to hand it over to God and say "go get 'em tiger." But, when a situation is small enough for me to control or could be the result of my actions or aptitude, I latch onto that situation and try endlessly to bend it to my will. Why is it that I can't treat the smaller things like the bigger ones?

So when I get to the point that I know that I've done all that I can do, I try not to meditate on the situation. One of my biggest challenges is letting go and letting God, as my mother would say. I think this may be a challenge for many of us, especially since it seems we have some very legitimate concerns these days.