Live-blogging my flight: An anxious flyer takes to the skies.
2:00: I’m standing in line to board at Midway airport and the Southwest airline attendant announces that they have overbooked the flight and wouldn’t one generous volunteer just love to receive a $200 voucher to give up his seat and take a later flight? At first, I’m steadfast: I’m getting on this plane. As the attendant becomes desperate, the offer goes up. I become weak. I sell out. $420 Southwest voucher, here I come!
7:35: One wifi internet connection, two sandwiches, three magazines and eleven cell phone calls later, I board the next plane for Long Island. My heart starts to race, as it always does when I get onto an airplane. I take a window seat and say a prayer that it will all be over quickly.
8:07: We are short one pilot, the attendants announce. So we will wait.
8:41: We wait some more.
9:03: The pilot arrives an hour and a half after the scheduled departure. Glad to see you sir.
9:05: . . . And we’re off! I’m always nervous when the 150,000 pound machine I’m riding in goes from earth-bound vessel to airborne projectile. As my palms begin go sweat, I try Dr. Joy Browne’s square breathing relaxation technique, pray the Hail Mary, put my trust in the FAA. . . anything to assure myself that this plane will safely fly.
9:07: I think of my friends in Navy flight school. Somewhere, they’re laughing at my panic attack. For the moment, I can laugh at myself.
9:13: I’m reading a piece in Oprah magazine and a 9/11 reference comes up. NOT NOW OPRAH. I turn to another story; this one is about puppies. There, I feel better.
9:17: The puppy gets hit by a car! How about we avoid all talk of crashes for the time being, okay?
9:32: It’s been smooth sailing for a while now, no turbulence, no strange grinding noises coming from the engine. I remind myself that flying won’t always be this calm; that turbulence is normal. Kind of like life. I know this truth. I also know that when the turbulence arrives, I will often curse it.
9:40: I’m sipping a milky tea and bopping around to Mariah Carey playing on my iPod. I’m almost having fun. Almost.
10:03: I notice a semi-acquaintance I haven’t seen in nearly a decade sitting across the aisle. Should I say hi? Nothing like a mid-air moral dilemma to calm the nerves.
10:06: CURSES!!! Plane plummets, hits turbulence, makes a left turn. Got to love those g-forces.
10:15: “Me and Mrs. Jones” comes up on my iPod shuffle. I press the next button –going to avoid all songs about adultery or otherwise deadly sins until we land. I prefer to sin on sturdier ground.
10:21: We’re going down, the pilot says. He says it’s time to make the final descent, which sounds a bit too perilous to me tonight. Why not call it “happy landing time” instead?
10:30:We defied gravity! Thank you God and pilots! And only nine days until I get to do it again!
Comments (5)
NOTICE: iNTENT To SUE after failing to heed me et al humble request:
ATTENTION: WAPO, N.Y. Times, N.Y.Post, et al:
Ye have used "Bad Judgement" and Ye have openly Discriminated against Us and ye are also in out-right (wrong) "ViOLATION" of This Holy Cosmic Nations U.S. CONSTiTUTiON, Federal Law(s) (i.e., FCC Rules etc..) Federal Court Order.. etc..
"i" Warned ye!
NOTE BLOGGERS Of The WORLD, here on CYBER-SPACE et al:
"i" , WE, will Post , On O.U.R. APOCALYPTIC WEb Site, the Status of THE LAW SUTE AGAINST the Party's mentioned Above, i.e. NEWSWEEK, et al! Thank You!
Note: Please do not click on blue, simply key-in black the letters, thanka shame!:
HELLO WORLD!
Please HU {MATE} S, not HUMANS, Visit Us from time to TiME. Thanka Shame!
E=eponymousECLATi, iS The NEW-SONG & e=mc2, iS FiAT-LUX!
http://JO][ZE][VZ][.US]
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http://JO][ZE][VZ][.US]
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WAPO, YE SiNNED A GREAT SiN! You will be taught a Great lesson, This is the only Recourse!
March 19, 2008 8:08 AM
Posted March 19, 2008 8:15 AM
Posted on March 19, 2008 08:15
People actually listen to Mariah Carey? Strange.
I don't like to fly either. Xanax is your friend.
Posted March 18, 2008 12:49 PM
Posted on March 18, 2008 12:49
WE are Come!
Please Visit Us from time to TiME.
"Hear O' Sweet sweet U.S.A., AMERiCA Is Truly (opposite of MYTH) ONE!" BEHOLD:
E=eponymousECLATi, iS The NEW-SONG and e=mc2, iS The FiAT-LUX!
[JO][ZE][VZ][.US]
J
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FROM:"FRIENDS OF O.U.R. HOLY COSMIC SPACE-SHiP MOMMA-POPPA, SPACE-SHIP EARTH, a Planet of many many EARTH's."
.......~~~~~~~~~~~~
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.~~~~....(♥)...............\
~~~~~................]={|)...)
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Thank You HUMATES, not HUMANS!
Posted March 18, 2008 8:43 AM
Posted on March 18, 2008 08:43
SHAME on WAHABi, not iSLAM, SHAME SAUDi ARABiA, OSAMA et al!:
Att: OBAMA, NAACP, & Friends of The NATION OF ISLAM, U.S.A. etc..
Please see: On, "ON-WOMANS-WRONGS & SHAMING MEN, not HUMAN RIGHTS!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peFQWuk4nuo&feature=related
UNDERCOVER of Islamic-Zionism , aka “AL TAQIYA” (not by Jews) via Saudi Built MOSQUE!
Internationally, HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS & Millions INVOLVED in Non-Islamic Nations!
Abolish islam in Sweet Sweet U.S.A.!
Remove Tax free Status & Building permits, restrict-Boycott Travel, Student exchange etc..!
WHATA you say, BARATONE Mesmerizing HUSSAIN OBAMA about ye brethren(s) on YOU-TUBE here & there, and the Nation of Islam, NAACP, et al??????
Imortant: The IMMAM/MUFTi said, "If any one who is a MUSLOM/MOSLEM/MUSLOM who reverts to another Religion, then "KILL HIM..." [similar said].
So, what does OBAMA & SAUDi Arabia Kalif & KING have to say to THE WORLD about this "ELDERS OF AL-TAQIYAH" (Islamic-ZIONISM, not Jewish, & take Over of the World..) TO THE WORLD???
WE are Waiting.....anti-American Double-Agent OBAMA, Nation of Islamic, black loving NAACP , OPRAH etc,...
Note: How come OPRAH Winfrey Does Not Show These Six Video's on Her Show?????????
Posted March 17, 2008 2:13 PM
Posted on March 17, 2008 14:13
I thank the Gods I don't have that phobia, but I sympathize: airline travel can really wind me up, too, though the stress is about the scheduling and making connections, and worries about getting stranded by my own exhaustion, not the flying itself.
Try thinking of it, not as defying gravity, but as embracing the air, as birds do. :)
Posted March 17, 2008 1:14 PM
Posted on March 17, 2008 13:14