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Life Lessons from Emails
Holy Cross is a Catholic institution. Even more specifically, it is a Jesuit institution. While we’re not teeming with “Catholic this, or Catholic that,” there are distinct reminders of the school’s religious identity that we students receive, and they show up in our email inboxes.
Whenever there’s a death – either of a worker on campus, or the relative of a student, essentially anyone connected to the Holy Cross community – there’s an email from the college chaplains announcing it, and asking for our prayers for the departed one and their family members and friends
Since returning to school for this Spring semester, there have been several such emails. They’ve announced the deaths of people who’ve been working at Holy Cross long enough to see several generations of students pass through the gates of our college community. They’ve also announced the death of students’ parents, siblings, grandparents, and yes, among the plethora of such emails, there was also one to announce the death of a student.
In a simple way, these emails are a testimonial to the inevitable and dramatic changes we’ll all have to cope with in life. These emails are striking because, as the term was coined in one of my seminars, they are “matter out of place.” They come following an email about a class assignment, and preceding an email about the open gym hours. It’s a curious context for sure, and sometimes I wonder how many students really take notice, or even read these emails. I hope they do, because they make us witnesses to other peoples’ grief and sorrow.
Though they may not affect us directly, they can subconsciously prepare us for the day when we’ll be faced with the same. At least then, bathed in our grief and sorrow, we’ll know that others are sharing in what we’re feeling. There’s always preparation in the form of change, and these seemingly insignificant and distant emails are profound, subtle reminders of this. We just have to be attentive, and check, really check our email everyday.
By
Ani Nalbandian
|
February 25, 2008; 8:30 PM ET
| Category:
Orthodox Idyll
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Posted by: Heather | March 15, 2008 6:57 PM
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So very true Ani, and so very important to read and take note of.
Posted by: Maral | March 3, 2008 10:38 PM
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The Roman Church, all churches, and society at large have always regarded a death as a serious and fateful event, worthy of the most serious contemplation.
Now, as Ani's essay reveals, death is regarded as a triviality, on a par with a notice that the instructor will be away in Florida on Thursday, and therefore unavailable to discuss the term paper.
Posted by: Norrie Hoyt | February 29, 2008 7:14 PM
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Knowing Ani personally, I have read several pieces of writing that she has created throughout her life, and all are wonderful. I am always touched by her sensitivity to other people's feelings. More remarkably, I think, is her ability to connect with her own feelings and the effect the topic brings to her, all beautifully and skillfully expressed in the difficult medium of writing. For example, the quote from the piece above brought tears to my eyes:
"I wonder how many students really take notice, or even read these emails. I hope they do, because they make us witnesses to other peoples’ grief and sorrow."
What profound insight for anyone, at any age. Ani is taking not just the acknowlegement of "other people's grief and sorrow" but being "witnesses" to it. Ani is connecting herself with others' feelings. To me, simply amazing. Imagine if everyone one the planet had this capability. We surely would have the answer to achieving world peace.