This is a nice reflection, but I have to say I can't help but be a little put off by you use of "hardcore." Also, equating Christ's death as "a comforting idea," is enormously insulting.

I'm sure it's in jest, but I think your understanding of Christians ideas of forgiveness is a bit limited... At least based on what you have said here. Namely, it requires far larger amounts of personal reflection than you are leading people to believe. One must not only want forgiveness and genuinely be remorseful, but there is an understanding within Christian tradition (particularly Catholicism) that you can be sorry for something and not necessarily be forgiven by the offended party. Because you have offended one of God's people, you still have to resolve that conflict with God by asking forgiveness from Him. Christian's aren't given a free ticket to never apologize for their actions. They are expected to seek forgiveness from their authority in addition to the person they hurt. ... And I'm sure you don't believe that Christian's are simpletons or anything like that, but the implication of this was something along those lines.

The thing about Christ's death being a "comforting idea" is just poorly phrased. I'd caution you to pick your words wisely. Again, I'm sure you meant nothing malicious, but the amount of condescension towards Christian tradition is only going to alienate people from what you are trying to say. Furthermore, that "idea" isn't just to comfort us by letting us know how much God loves us. It is also meant to inspire respect for God and a boldness within us to do the right thing.

And again, I appreciate your explanation of how Jews seek forgiveness and it is something more people should remember when seeking to resolve unsettled issues. However, "true forgiveness" is not a concept only the Jewish community has a firm understanding of.

Jews can only be forgiven by G_d for sins against other people (Jew or non-Jew, it makes no difference) if they sincerely solicit the forgiveness from that person.

Jews are not instructed to wait until Yom Kippur to ask for forgiveness, they are instructed to not commit the sin in the first place and then to ask for forgiveness ASAP.

If the person sinned against does not grant the forgiveness, if it was requested sincerely, then G_d can forgive anyways.

The first thing that a Jew is asked by G_d after death is "were you honest in your business dealings?" Not did you keep the sabbath, not did you fast on Yom Kippur. This is to show that Jews are required to live honestly every day of their life and especially in their dealings with other people, Jew and non-Jew alike, it makes no difference according to Jewish law.

Yom Kippur is more focused on sins committed against G_d, like not keeping kosher, not keeping the sabbath, not following the 613 laws that are required to be followed by Jewish law.

Jews are judged by G_d by their actions more so than their words, but words are still important. For example, is a against Jewish law to say evil words about a person; it is against Jewish law to embarass a person; Honestly and kindness and good deeds are the most important attributes according to Jewish law. So Sherri may want to consider not only asking for forgiveness from those people today, she should be very aware that one of the worst sins against G_d is to commit a sin with the idea that G_d will forgive you; in fact G_d says forgiveness for sins done with full cognizance are the most troubling for G_d to forgive and there is not short term guarantee that the person will be forgiven.

Shari,
I love your wisdom. In this marriage my wife is Unitarian and I am Jewish. She loves Yom Kippur because she looks likes me to say that I am sorry and then wants to know how I will treat her better. Growing up in her family was agonizing with extreme anger and arrogance. So, I see that Yom Kippur is a gift for her. As I see it, it's a holiday for all religions.

"Do jews only apologize to to other jews they've hurt or are gentiles also included?"

Judaism is unfortunately misunderstood by too many of us non-Jews. Yes, gentiles are included.

My suggestion is to cut out the middle man... just appologize to your friends and don't worry about what cap'n planet (or god, same diff.)has to say.

My suggestion is to cut out the middle man... just appologize to your friends and don't worry about what cap'n planet (or god, same diff.)has to say.

Do jews only apologize to to other jews they've hurt or are gentiles also included?

Do jews only apologize to to other jews they've hurt or are gentiles also included?

ms rabin- as im smack dab in the middle of ramadan- we have a similar concept in islam that the actions during these 30 days will result in blessings for the coming year.

when we wrong a person, it is our obligation to offer them one of our good deeds on judgement day.
it may not seem like much currency now- but it might be the deed that tips the scales-

i have read on these boards a most excellent article on atonement by dr lazare- (he happens to be a jewish man)

i really recommend it and as the g-d knows our hearts, from my own insufficent human judgement-
certainly your intentions are beautiful.

(please be assured that i do not post this to compete with jewish beliefs, but rather to illustrate their similarities- people spend far too much energies on fiinding differences- when there are, to me. more in common than we realize.)

peace

shari,
i think you've hit the nail on the head: it is scary. our society doesn't value regret and the wisdom that can only come when we put ourselves out there to possibly be forgiven.
learn this now while you are young and it will bring you blessings...i hope.
its great that you are even thinking about this.
kindest regards,
cary

Shari:

"Your sins are forgiven you".

There. I hope you feel better.

Tom Barnes

Dear Friends:
No send another invitation. Send some history books, have a moment of silence that lasts his whole visit, invite every other Arab nation to a Black tie dinner for a fiest and their wives at the White House and then to the U N to discuss world caution in trade, industry, oil, gas, solar, development, protection of the natural fauna of the land, air, and waterways, the rain foresst protection of their and protection of action in space, Agiculture and land use world wide and future travel and transportation and communicate.

Dear Friends:

Friends around the world.

It is intriqueing yet incorrect that you pretend the Iranian economy is not impacted by war. It is and where to you get your supplies and weapons. Is it China or from some other illegal source.

You are wrong that President George W Bush Jr. is attempting to state or convince the world that he has some plan for the Iranian. He knows you have your own government and does not want another nation that is regrouping to be overtaken by some other force the alkida or Bin Ladin. Bin Ladin is a criminal who pretends that he is a man of faith. He is nothing when he follows a paper written by someother man who is nothing but a combination of thoughts, religions and criminal objectives for what a class, an audiance. He is the falsehood, his work is the attempt to disrupt all faiths including the Arab. Maryterdom is a christian word. Why would he ever use it to imply a goal or reward for murder. God does not teach murder in any faith. Martrys are not murders in any faith.

The sole purpose of Bin Ladin and all terrorists is to divide and destroy the good people of Iraq. They are one of the oldest societies in the world and they want them destroyed and divided. Together in their true form of prayer they can then cause and bring about with the power of God a nation powerful, educated, historical and a threat to those who want their land. Their nation for the terrorists.

President George W Bush JR and the USA and citizens there of do not have a purpose to continue in Iraq nor to govern any other foreign nation. It is the objective and always has been to reward and respect citizens of all other nations. To respect your government and economics and education as you may decide. It is Bin Laden who attacked the USA on 9/11 and we will not ever forget that a man two faced and a face of evil can be like a garbage can. One who took the good of an education from the USA and destroyed its good meaning and all he learned.

Bin Laden you know history, then you know that Abraham was a brother to another nation.

You cannot change that. But the person you took and pergered his writting is an illegal writer a great pretender. You are one that uses something else you learned in the USA, the media, sience, medicine, and drama.

You also learned of Hitler. Your are a dramatic copy cat of him and will be destroyed. All who follow you and any terrorists of any nation is in fact following the false angel or the devil.

You are a false hood.

May there be no dust on this earth of you or your offspring for you are the Satan that has revealed your attempt and purpose to destroy all faiths including the Koran or ARAB Faith.

You are visible in the mountains of Pakistan and the rivers and streams and under the soil. And Iran will come to know the true destructive force of which you falsely teach.

President George W Bush Jr. is our president and does want to negotiate with Iran when they are purposfully honest. But you have given missles and supported bombing in Several other nations including Lebanon which is in our scriptures and in historical teachings. He is one president of this time. You tried to destroy and theaten the children and people of the USA on 9/11 Bin Laden, but did not succeed. We the people of the USA are who you were educated from, and we are alive and still fighting and will until you are dead. Wanted dead or alive yet with a reward for any one with information leading to his capture.

You see president of Iran and Komini we have not issued a wanted dead or alive for you. We have tried to talk. Intelligently and respectively for we are concerned for the largest and the smallest of all nations. Not with purpose to govern but for reasonable peaceful resolve.

Our futures are now for our children and offspring of the future.

The borders you accused Britain of crossing, Iran crossed illegally. For you are not respecting the Iraqi people, their borders and their nation and new constitution respectfully and proudly voted on by all their citizens and people. They are a nation, with a new consititution one they decided on. They are a proud and strong people that will survive time as per history. Do not be that which is the will of Satan for God may open the ground of which you stand on.

We the people of the USA will return home. The quicker peace and no war and resolve within and by all the intellectually intelligent Arab world or nations the sooner this will happen and the stronger you will be.

A larger threat has shown it's face the illegal chemical destructions of China in food, product and rain. This is a threat to all the world including the ARAB people and nations. Their economic growth and gold and consumption of oil will destroy.

We the people of the USA have choices to decide to buy or not as does every other nation.

Historically the peaceful intelligent ARAB and Israel nations have survived time and will as is written.

Sharon W

June 30, 2007 2:09 PM | Report Offensive Comments

Posted on June 30, 2007 14:09

sharon walker:
Dear Friends:

Iran has made a statement that they would blast Israel if they attacked or bombed them. I declare that is not very nice. A light bulb goes off just thinking and or saying such a thing.
Why in Virginia my grandmother would say such a thing Darling you should not be worrying your little head about.

Now why don't you gentlemen be sociable and talk nice. There are storms all over the world and your Great ancestors were relatives.

I know you are not like Osama Bin Laden a rather crude, highly insulting, cowardly person who is deceiptful and certainly would not be a guest at our home front. Now you have come to our nation and have talked and unlike the jabbering Venezuelian Chavez, you have tried to think through things. However, making a threat before the act is like a gentlemens quarrel. Surely you are not anything less than educated, you have shown manner, you have shown you are a leader, and willing to talk and appear before the public, unlike the mannic depressed, schizophrenic, paranoid, pedephillia that Osama Bin Laden is.

There is no warrant for your arrest and no reward for you. Oh please be gentlemenly, I know all those little children in Iran need to know you are a titled and intelligent man.

We have been taught to respect those who are our off distant nations people and God taught us he does have a place for those he chooses.

A light bulb a computer, cells, solar power magnified. You know the small security cameras and those long light bulbs. Perhaps in the nations of the world someone can invent a cheaper more efficient light bulb. The children of Iran I hope they like all the children of the world each and every one tries to compete for the world competition of the Olympics. Perhaps one day the Olympics could be in an Arab nation.

The Arabian horse with the chariots the world knows the Arabian is one of the stonger of breeds and who is the worlds best dresser, rider, trainer and olympian. Bring it back to the Olympics Iran. You and all the Arabian I would like to see entrants in every event. Swimming modify the suits.

The world would like to see your countries peacefully. Your people visited from afar more. Can this be???

God Bless you.

Sharon W

September 19, 2007 7:32 PM | Report Offensive Comments

Posted on September 19, 2007 19:32

SHARON WALKER:
DEAR FRIENDS:

WELL! WELL! WELL! DID ANYONE SEE THE ARITICLE IN THE SACRAMENTO BEE OF SEPTEMBER 21, 2007 IRAN FREES U.S. SCHOLAR.

NOW I HAVE TO SAY THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF INTELLIGENT LEADERS WHO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE OF SOMEON WHO IS NOT A DANGER AND RELEASES AMERICAN SCHOLARS. MY RESPECT FOR SUCH ACTION!!!

COMMENDABLE FOR YOU PERSONALLY, FOR YOUR PEOPLE, FOR YOUR NATION. IT IS THIS AND THE FACT YOUR LEADERS HIDE NOT WHEN THEY SPEAK, BUT COME AND DISCUSS THINGS WORLD WIDE AND MAKE DECITIONS ALSO WITH THIS TYPE OF CONSIDERATION. IT IS NOT DESTRUCTIVE TO DISAGREE FROM TIME TO TIME. YOUR LEADERS UNDERSTAND THIS. THAT IS WHY THEY ARE NOT FEARFUL TO GO BEFORE OTHER LEADERS OF THE U.N. AND OTHER NATIONS. I AS A CITIZEN OF THE U. S. A. AM FEARFUL AND PRAY FOR OUR CITIZENS WHEN THEY GO TO OTHER NATIONS THAT THEY MAY BE PERCEIVED AS QUESTIONABLE IN THEIR ACTIONS. IT IS THANKFUL AND A STATEMENT TO THE WORLD THAT THESE TYPES OF LEADERS RESPECT THEIR CITIZENS, THEIR NATION, AND ARE RESPECTFUL OF OTHER NATIONS.

CONGRATULATIONS AND THANKS.

THIS ALSO SHOWS THE PEOPLE AND LEADERS OF IRAN ARE EDUCATED AND NOT FEARFUL OF SHOWING THEIR PRESENCE IN THE WORLD WITHOUT WAR. UNLIKE THE TERRORISTS AND OSAMA BIN LADEN.

I AM A PROUD AMERICAN CITIZEN, MY COUNTRY WAS ATTACKED ON SEPTEMBER 11, A DAY OF WHICH WE WILL NOT FORGET EACH AND EVERY YEAR. BY CRIMINALS AND MEN WHO HAVE MENTAL DISEASE AND WHO DO NOT CARE ABOUT THEIR PEOPLE. THEY FOLLOW NOT A RELIGIOUS DOCTRINE OF LONG AGO GIVEN TO THEIR PEOPLE BY GOD THROUGH PROFITS, BUT BY A DOCUMENT THAT WAS WRITTEN WITH MIXED RELIGIOUS LANGUAGES, WORDS AND FALSE PROPHESIES. THEY ARE WORDS THAT WERE AND ARE PLAGERIZED. IN CLUDING THE WORD SOLUTION WHICH WAS USED BY HITLER.
MANY PEOPLE DIED OF ALL FAITHS. HITLERS INTENT WAS TO DESTROY ALL OF ONE NATION AND WOULD HAVE GONE TO THEIR BROTHERS FROM BIBLICAL TIMES. YOU THE ARABS. HE WAS STOPPED BECAUSE PEOPLE CARED.

THIS YOUR NATION YOUR PEOPLE ARE HERE TODAY BECAUSE OF THIS AND NATIONS LIKE MINE STOPPING HIM. TODAY THE WORLD, THE ARAB WORLD NEEDS YOUR HELP. OSAMA BIN LADEN IS JUST LIKE HITLER.

September 21, 2007 7:33 PM | Report Offensive Comments

Posted on September 21, 2007 19:33

sharon walker:
Dear Friends:

You know the question is why is Iran advancing when ......?
Well Well Well?
Brilliant question ummmm!!!
This is one of the oldest societies in the world, they have colleges, they know how to cook, buy, trade, legally and understand illegal trade, they know how to keep illegal activities outside of their society when they want to from guns, to drugs, criminals, invasions from Mexico, Bad products from China, their leader goes to one of the most argumentive, satiric nations of the world that does try to examine all sides and factors whether they agree or not. Their leader does not hide in the dark. He has taken unknown about of jabs even from schoolastic leaders, they and he has gone into the U N and would stand up for protection of the world if they saw fit including the Jungles of Amazon for clean air, they have bought the best of automobiles with the cleanest of air and have agreed to sell oil in a world that also asks for clean oil and gasoline and filters in automobiles even if the cost went up for the best product.

This is a nation that has many goods and services, and has explored the universe or outer space without blowing up their trash.

How has this nation like other nations of the Arab world progressed and succeeded in being economically what they are? Are you kidding!!!

Get with this century!!!! Modernization is not only in one nation but many.

Now they also can deny or try that Hitler existed. Birth records are there, his active military is a record, lives, burials, graves including some Arabs that were caught and would not do what he wanted were there, Oil you see, Germany traded for oil also whether it was Iran or another. My ex husbands step grandmother a woman from Poland who lived in Connecticut, USA had the burned numbers on her wrist. She was a soft spoken, honest, christian woman, catholic, she wore long sleeves and barely wanted to talk about it. Banks throughout the world and history and all other evidence in nations all over the world are not lying. Neither was she!!!

Mahmouund Ahmadineyad you may have been protected from this tragic and ugly time of history but it occurred due to a terrible man who was manic depressed, schizophrenic, paranoid and sexual abuser. This man committed attrocities of which no person or persons should ever experience.

His intent was to commit these until all the Jewish in the world and then Arabs ( their genetic brothers ) He believed races that should not exist.

Denial also occurs phsychologically for painful history and for not the want of. It also can be due to not exploring, reading, and or researching. He did not see the numbers burned on the Arabs wrists and other things that also occurred to Christians all over the world from this person.

The News week or Sacramento Bee suggested that Mahmoud is Hitler. This is not so. A lack of understanding and denial even if possibly for political reasons is not the same as the collective heyonous acts of Hitler that is like Osama Bin Laden.

How loud can I say this?
Get educated your self and do not ask such a leading assuming and ignorant question.

Papers, and Blog questioners and News Media take a more responsible position. You are to report not make news and not assume. Or you can be held liable. Ignorance as you suggest can lead to false teaching to the young of history and politicians.

Such as Was the News Week kidding when they said that President said that Hillary has won the Democratic Election? Ladies and Gentlemen, first to the Spanish as the paper suggests, this is the party election competion that is now on. If you do not understand that go back to school.

Just because the Republicans are not willing to attend a debate with the Democrats is not wrong, it is because their party can debate. Get to know the party. Both. Then vote!!! Do not be a robot.

As to the comment by the News Week, The races for each party are still just beginning. Obama do not give up. The President of the United States of America is not suggestive nor is he predudice as the News week might suggest.
Americans are you predudice ( Spanish Americans )
Black and White? Race???

Hillary what a bust, what a disgrace that you allowed the artist strip, and make a bust of you.
Art it is not!! Disgrace it is. For you are a mother, for your daughter, for the state of New York, for the Senate and the title you hold, for the previous Presidency history as the wife of the President of one of the largest nations of the world. And you want to be the President of the United States of America. Giving away it all!
Kick in the rear jack ass!!! China kick backs for trade has cost this nation how much money?
Where did all this money go? Legal fees for the bag lady???? No more!!! No more!!!
Viet Nam we still do not have health care.
Agent Orange!! Where are you. Right Bill is high and he went some place else.

China, Nafta ( they do not care ) Mexico oh to Japan auto.

GM on line for a strike!!! Home Run!!! All the way, it is a great day for a Bond Market.

Hey first time home buyers do not believe the Sacramento Bee or any other paper that says it is hard for you. Good credit, a job, real estate loans are available for up to 100%, special bond issue are there, FHA, in if applicable VA and prices are down. BUY LAND, HOMES AND COMMERCIAL. SACRAMENTO BEE RENTAL OR LANDLORDS WHO HAVE THE MONEY HELP TO MAKE HOMES AVAILABLE FOR RENT. RENTALS FOR FAMILIES, WHO LOST THEM DO TO CHINA. RENTALS FOR THE SINGLES, WITH OR WITHOUT AIDS, FAMILIES AN SINGLES THAT ARE HANDICAPPED AND OR MENTALLY CHALLENGED. SINGLE WOMEN THAT ARE ABUSED. THIS PRESENT GOVERNMENT IS PAYING FOR THIS AND

LEAVE NO CHILD BEHIND.

I love you Gerry Seinfield, I say you realized that the Sacramento Bee made the front page.

Speak out for and against those that love the Star bucks coffee. While it is over priced and promised to reward with diabetes, they are paying $1.50 approximately a month to a person who picks and grows coffee in Africa. They are unprotecting the Amazon Jungle, Scars like the roads in the Camelback mountain in Paradise Valley, Scottsdale, AZ may occurr. Oil in the little rivers of the Amazon. Oh God!!! Oh God!!!
How much is a cup of Starbucks???

My credit limit is not that high. Oh says the street person neither is mine. Take a bus. SAve the Air. Seinfield knows the Sacramento Bee, Oh they printed on September 23, 2007 the article about Starbucks. Cheers your crew speak out. Howabout it day time and night time TV.
60 minutes or 60 years how long could it take to destroy the Amozon Jungle, Animals and African fauna and the ocean. Water you see every drop even in the jungle is dear.

Oh God!!! Then there are patents, what no laws?
What about royalties!! Hey I do not want Starbucks to go out of business. I know the owner is a million donates and all and American.
But Rubbermaid and all the rest wake up. This happened to the Africans in early history of the British and India. Now correct this wrong, son.

There is a Bible story of all coming to the fields to work at different times of the day and they are each paid the same wages. This is a teaching for equal pay and representation to brothers and sisters all over the world.

Oh God! The food of the day WATER. Keep it clean. Hillary you do not have a clue. Do you drink or Chelsea or Bill Starbucks?

You have no clue bring it to the UN.

Families and national leaders all over the world including you Iran speek out. Protect the jungle and water and air of all the world. It runs and goes into all nations in one way or another.

Iran and the Arab world any China products or guns. Are they safe? Water, cancer, air.

September 25, 2007 2:00 PM | Report Offensive Comments

Posted on September 25, 2007 14:00

sharon walker:
Dear Friends:

New York duck is Bin Laden coming down the runway!!!

Is he drawing in on another group? In Britain and or the States? How about Iran now that his speech is made? Paranoid that Osama Bin Laden is, he knows not history!! Nor the Future!!!

Brace your selves another group of terrorists talking on a cell. Phone it in if you hear it.
Please!!!!! Hurry where ever you are.

Southwest in the business world, meeting are sometimes held on a plane one on one. Not having a reserved seat can mean defete of your purpose. Which was to be a business service flights and to make it quick and cheap. For the cost of peanuts, Oscar Meyer snack packs, small with just a film across the top. Change the candy to a small mint, a teeny little pack of peanuts, or California Raisins or dried fruit. A go and great for stalled or delayed flights.

Watch for activities pilots of all American Flights and all over the world.
When you take off!!! Pilots, crew and passengers think of youselves on a flight like 9/11. Who was there for you as President of the USA? George W Bush Jr.

Now pretend I am a little girl who likes to bake and date and mad my boy friend got a new girl friend. Would you want me as your President, I have no experience to defend. my name is HI,
Hill over there ry.

NO NO Bad choice. I want someone with experience and who wants to protect this nation and who will stand up for my family, constitution. Got this my rights, Religion and Race.

Oh Columbia, drug wars, bad choice, tell your children to protect their nation. Business stay away from China products pollution, Peru to Japan and his daughter, see the Sacramento Bee a No NO. Or the world will go away. Do not buy Japanese Cars. They are owned by China. Did you not know. The change in rule from British to China. Now the communist country is in their control. What is in the product and the air of the autos of Japan and China? Small particles of lead???????????????

Send my Blog comments to as many as you can.

The whole thing about waiting until the High Holy Days to forgive is not true -- it's your last chance to forgive or be forgiven to start the year out with a clean slate.

A Jew is obligated to set things right all year long. If you've sincerely asked for and received forgiveness for something in November, you are not obligated to raise it again for an "official" forgiveness in September. That notion is silly.

The High Holy Days are also meant to help imbue a sense of awe and spirituality to the act of forgiveness, which is a massively powerful act if done right. Often, a person you forgive may not even know he/she is being forgiven, or may not care. The point is to find a way to let that anger, resentment, etc. go, or you can continue on in the new year poisoned.

Apologies are like appreciation. Needs to be done in a timely manner to retain relevance. Don't wait the whole year till the book of life is opened/closed. Practice daily. Also, call 1-888-oops-jew to aoplogize for anything you may have done wrong to Stephen Colbert. (Just a joke).

If the just man falls seven times a day he's taking a terrible chance waiting until Rosh Hashanah to try to balance the books.

Every night we go to bed with a guilty conscience makes each subsequent guilty night a little less restless, until we've completely deadened ourselves to our offence. I think this is one reason leprosy is such a powerful metaphor for impurity--it's our ability to deaden our moral senses, the way leprosy destroys our nerves, which allows us to go from simple cheit to pesha.

Is God really the easier customer? In one sense, yes, because He does promise to forgive. In another sense, I'm not so sure. Speaking from a Christian perspective, we understand that He expects us to both forgive those who've wronged us, and to apologize and make amends when we hurt someone else.

God isn't going to nuke us because we forgot that we owed someone an apology, but it's pretty clear that if we expect to be forgiven, the way we treat other people matters. We need to be forgiving people in turn, and willing to fess up and make it right when we hurt people.

Is God really the easier customer? In one sense, yes, because He does promise to forgive. In another sense, I'm not so sure. Speaking from a Christian perspective, we understand that He expects us to both forgive those who've wronged us, and to apologize and make amends when we hurt someone else.

God isn't going to nuke us because we forgot that we owed someone an apology, but it's pretty clear that if we expect to be forgiven, the way we treat other people matters. We need to be forgiving people in turn, and willing to fess up and make it right when we hurt people.

Is God really the easier customer? In one sense, yes, because He does promise to forgive. In another sense, I'm not so sure. Speaking from a Christian perspective, we understand that He expects us to both forgive those who've wronged us, and to apologize and make amends when we hurt someone else.

God isn't going to nuke us because we forgot that we owed someone an apology, but it's pretty clear that if we expect to forgiven, the way we treat other people matters. We need to be forgiving people in turn, and willing to fess up and make it right when we hurt people.

Ya YA - thanks for your "contribution, " such as it is. It reminds us how much better a place the world would be if more people took responsibility for their actions and actually felt and expressed remorse to those who the actions (or inactions) actually hurt.

Many preach forgiveness but the combination of repentance AND forgiveness would make us all more worthy of the notion that we were all made in God's image.

It is far better to try and fail than it is to never have gone beyond cynicism such as yours.

1. Why is it a good idea to wait until the High Holidays to apologize when you hurt someone? Isn't it better to apologize as soon as you realize it?

2. Oh, and too bad you're gonna die this year.

Ya YA...the jews are unlike any body else-the choosen people..right..

Hi Shari, I hear you on the awkwardness and difficulty of face-to-face apologizing. I did it this year with my girlfriend, and have done it in the past only with a few others that I am very close to. I wish I did it more, and others did it more too. I think it's just a good thing for everyone involved, in the long run.

Shari --
I feel your pain. Still, in years past, I did go the face-to-face apologizing route. Often it felt kind of stilted and perfunctory, as if we were both trying to get through it. And in those situations, I'm not sure anything really changed.

Often people aren't aware that they've done something that hurts us. And to approach them, risking confrontation, derision, rejection, is almost too much to consider.

I guess it's the same if someone comes up to us and says the ritual words. It's like getting a phone call from a charity. Maybe it's a charity you'd like to support, but you're so caught off guard that you can't take a meaningful action.

So, I'm thinking as I'm writing this, maybe the "asking for forgiveness spree" during the high holidays is only to let us know that it's a normal thing to do. But we still have to tailor the custom to each individual and each situation.

Otherwise we'll end up with a bunch of extra guilt because we didn't act to mend our relationships. More guilt we can do without!

L'shanah tovah.

Shari --
I feel your pain. Still, in years past, I did go the face-to-face apologizing route. Often it felt kind of stilted and perfunctory, as if we were both trying to get through it. And in those situations, I'm not sure anything really changed.

Often people aren't aware that they've done something that hurts us. And to approach them, risking confrontation, derision, rejection, is almost too much to consider.

I guess it's the same if someone comes up to us and says the ritual words. It's like getting a phone call from a charity. Maybe it's a charity you'd like to support, but you're so caught off guard that you can't take a meaningful action.

So, I'm thinking as I'm writing this, maybe the "asking for forgiveness spree" during the high holidays is only to let us know that it's a normal thing to do. But we still have to tailor the custom to each individual and each situation.

Otherwise we'll end up with a bunch of extra guilt because we didn't act to mend our relationships. More guilt we can do without!

L'shanah tovah.