Dear Paris Hilton,
You are one lucky woman.
I am glad you are alive today to complain about your jail sentence. Many others who drove under the influence perished or killed others by their one bad decision.
You are one lucky woman.
You are long legged and lovely, though not demure.
Your taste in handbags is impeccable.
Your skin is always perfectly toned, moisturized and powdered.
You did a bad thing.
There is forgiveness in this world for people who acknowledge their mistakes. They take responsibility and work to rectify their wrongs. You are enduring this hardship like you do so many other things: publicly, and in designer clothes.
The rest of us pay for our sins comparatively privately, and in tattered sweatpants.
You are correct to ask that you not be treated more unfairly than others because of your celebrity. You are right to release a statement that surely you penned, insisting that "No one is above the law. I surely am not. I do not expect to be treated better than anyone else who violated probation. However, my hope is that I will not be treated worse."
We should not make you into our national whipping heiress. That would be our sin.
Some claim that you and your groupies are hastening the decay of a young generation. You, poor thing, are nothing if not a product of our culture’s abundance of superficiality.
Svelte as you are, I feel sorry for you. And if, as more than 21,000 petition-signing people have claimed, you “provide hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world,” and “provide beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives,” then I mourn for our generation as well.
So Paris, I hope we do not treat you unfairly. But I also hope you get what you deserve. It would be good for you, and us.
And if you do end up in jail, I expect nothing less than a pink, rhinestone-studded jumpsuit from you.
That’s hot.

Comments (40)
paris hilton is a selfish selfcentered individual and deserves to live out her sentence in jail just like everyone else. Just because she wasnt eating or talking doesnt mean shes not getting out. If i was sentenced to jail andi simply did not eat or talk does that mean that i will get out of jail within 24 hours. Who does she think she is getting her way all the time. Its not fair to the people who or in jail on mistake and were wrongly accused. She should have been sentenced more then what she had gotton because if a normal person (not a celebrity) had been caught on DWI they would have been in alot more trouble then she has. They would have had to serve a much longer term in jail then just lik two days. She should get what she deserves and that is absolutly nothing. Jus because she is amazingly good looking and has a billionare father does not mean she can whine her way out of jail without any sort of consequence. Who ever the judge was that had her in his/her court room is obviously very leanent and like to see her video..because a normal well minded individual would have givin her the same respect that she deserves and that none.!!!
Posted November 7, 2007 1:59 PM
Posted on November 7, 2007 13:59
paris hilton is a selfish selfcentered individual and deserves to live out her sentence in jail just like everyone else. Just because she wasnt eating or talking doesnt mean shes not getting out. If i was sentenced to jail andi simply did not eat or talk does that mean that i will get out of jail within 24 hours. Who does she think she is getting her way all the time. Its not fair to the people who or in jail on mistake and were wrongly accused. She should have been sentenced more then what she had gotton because if a normal person (not a celebrity) had been caught on DWI they would have been in alot more trouble then she has. They would have had to serve a much longer term in jail then just lik two days. She should get what she deserves and that is absolutly nothing. Jus because she is amazingly good looking and has a billionare father does not mean she can whine her way out of jail without any sort of consequence. Who ever the judge was that had her in his/her court room is obviously very leanent and like to see her video..because a normal well minded individual would have givin her the same respect that she deserves and that none.!!!
Posted November 7, 2007 1:56 PM
Posted on November 7, 2007 13:56
paris hilton is a selfish selfcentered individual and deserves to live out her sentence in jail just like everyone else. Just because she wasnt eating or talking doesnt mean shes not getting out. If i was sentenced to jail andi simply did not eat or talk does that mean that i will get out of jail within 24 hours. Who does she think she is getting her way all the time. Its not fair to the people who or in jail on mistake and were wrongly accused. She should have been sentenced more then what she had gotton because if a normal person (not a celebrity) had been caught on DWI they would have been in alot more trouble then she has. They would have had to serve a much longer term in jail then just lik two days. She should get what she deserves and that is absolutly nothing. Jus because she is amazingly good looking and has a billionare father does not mean she can whine her way out of jail without any sort of consequence. Who ever the judge was that had her in his/her court room is obviously very leanent and like to see her video..because a normal well minded individual would have givin her the same respect that she deserves and that none.!!!
Posted November 7, 2007 1:55 PM
Posted on November 7, 2007 13:55
paris hilton is a selfish selfcentered individual and deserves to live out her sentence in jail just like everyone else. Just because she wasnt eating or talking doesnt mean shes not getting out. If i was sentenced to jail andi simply did not eat or talk does that mean that i will get out of jail within 24 hours. Who does she think she is getting her way all the time. Its not fair to the people who or in jail on mistake and were wrongly accused. She should have been sentenced more then what she had gotton because if a normal person (not a celebrity) had been caught on DWI they would have been in alot more trouble then she has. They would have had to serve a much longer term in jail then just lik two days. She should get what she deserves and that is absolutly nothing. Jus because she is amazingly good looking and has a billionare father does not mean she can whine her way out of jail without any sort of consequence. Who ever the judge was that had her in his/her court room is obviously very leanent and like to see her video..because a normal well minded individual would have givin her the same respect that she deserves and that none.!!!
Posted November 7, 2007 1:55 PM
Posted on November 7, 2007 13:55
I don't know how can you call yourself christian talking about Paris Hilton like that. By you words I know you are Jealous and selfish.
please pray for forgiviness
Posted August 4, 2007 11:52 AM
Posted on August 4, 2007 11:52
I don't know how can you call yourself christian talking about Paris Hilton like that. By you words I know you are Jealous and selfish.
please pray for forgiviness
Posted August 4, 2007 11:52 AM
Posted on August 4, 2007 11:52
45 Paris-free days? If only. The paps will prolly go on about the color and consitution of her dooky and how that somehow affects "young Hollywood". It's times like this where I only wish there was an erase button on my Tivo.
Posted June 10, 2007 11:17 AM
Posted on June 10, 2007 11:17
I think we are related.. are you from new jersey or new york. Tenety is not a common name.
Posted May 23, 2007 8:35 PM
Posted on May 23, 2007 20:35
Soja John Thaikattil,
It's nice to hear from you. I haven't seen your posts recently in On Faith.
Regards.
Posted May 12, 2007 2:35 PM
Posted on May 12, 2007 14:35
I think she should go to jail. She is not above the law. If you are rich on earth you might not be in haven. Why I said that because it might be the best thing that happen to her. She have a cold hart. The young girls look up to her and she don't care what happen to them. She don't care about anyone but her dog. And the poor thing all ways run away for her. I hope she see things in jail and talk to the young women that made the worng diciding. Unstand that life is not a party any more. God is trying to get to her and maybe he will have her. Because you can't call on your father or mother, you will call on God and he will be the only one. That will end up helping you in the end. So I hope that the Lord take care of her and other that in jail like her. So they can change there life and learn for it. Pairs you're not a goddess because a goddess don't go to jail and be happy being a human. I hope the lord keep and love you Paris. Paris I don't have the money like you but I'm rich in the lord. And maybe you will understand that when you are in jail. Take care of your self see you on the news when you get out. I hope you will be a change woman.
Posted May 12, 2007 12:06 AM
Posted on May 12, 2007 00:06
you wanna complain about Paris Hilton, how about the
immoral president in the White House?
Posted May 11, 2007 11:07 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 23:07
Don't you guys get it? Paris is what America is all about. The right to be famous, rich, empty headed, and not having to give a damn about what the rest of the world think. Take that Bin Laden and the rest of you religious Talibans who make your women cover up from head to toes. Long live Paris and the American way of life.
Posted May 11, 2007 10:03 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 22:03
Dear Paris, form a jail pen-pal relationship with Tank Johnson. His fame is measured by the size of his guns and your fame is measured by the size of your buns. If the two measurements were reversed Tank would not be in jail.
JFS
Posted May 11, 2007 9:51 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 21:51
Why have I spent ten minutes of my life reading this crap?
Posted May 11, 2007 8:52 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 20:52
Dear Norrie Hoyt
As far as I know, Paris is in France, and Hilton is a chain of five stars hotels. Maybe it is the Hilton hotel in Paris.
Posted May 11, 2007 8:50 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 20:50
This is the most insipid column I have ever seen in the Washington Post. A side commentary on where the Post has gone in recent years.
Frankly, does anyone truly care about whether Paris Hilton "sins." Get a life.
Posted May 11, 2007 8:48 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 20:48
She should be hanged, drawn and quartered, disembowelled and left for the vultures to eat for violating her probation.
Posted May 11, 2007 8:25 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 20:25
Who's Paris Hilton?
Posted May 11, 2007 8:05 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 20:05
great article...too bad some posters below didn't take the time to read the article and think.
Posted May 11, 2007 7:33 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 19:33
Assuming she is to be jailed, Ms. Hilton should be sent to the detention facility at Guantonemo Bay, Cuba. I am certain that 5000 "terror" prisoners would welcome her with open arms.
Posted May 11, 2007 6:58 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 18:58
Dear Paris: I hope you make new friends in jail. The women will like you.
Posted May 11, 2007 6:58 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 18:58
We need to stop saying Paris Hilton contributes nothing to society, because that's not true. She donates money to the Republican Party, which in turn works to make sure she pays little or no tax on her inheritance and investment income -- as opposed to the nasty little working people who wait on her, who at least pay FICA (Social Security tax) on every dime they make.
George Bush and the rest of the Republican crowd consider people like Paris Hilton their "base," remember?
So let's not knock the girl. She's the wave of the future in America -- as long as we keep electing Republicans, anyway.
Posted May 11, 2007 6:54 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 18:54
Why do people always say that Ms.Hilton 'has contributed absolutely nothing to society'? Every time the Hilton heiress makes headlines it furthers a discussion in many households around the country about what does and does not constitute proper behavior. I believe shes become a superb role model for what not to become for our nations youth.
Posted May 11, 2007 6:52 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 18:52
Y'know, WaPo, I'm impressed. You've managed to combine the God section with the Celebrity Gossip section. If you had only paid more attention to the judgemental and religious implications of an early 70s actress getting a DUI, Nixon would have gotten a free ride. Just mail this one straight to the Pulitzer committee. Kudos.
Posted May 11, 2007 5:57 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 17:57
We all know their is no life guard at the gene pool.
Posted May 11, 2007 5:50 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 17:50
Our obsession with Paris represents our feelings about what she stands for: unrepentant living of the good life and indulging in all that the world has to offer. Lovers of Paris think, "What can I do or buy to enjoy that level of satisfaction?" Haters say, "Why am I discontent?; what makes her better than me?"
When you are as wealthy and famous as she, surely it is easy to be fully and completely contented; it must be easy to find the next best thing when you grow bored with the last.
But our intense schizophrenic feelings about Paris arise precisely because she DOES seem completely satiated by this life. Perpetual satisfaction . . . a previously unattainable gift. Paris is wo/mankind's validation that we can find nirvana in this world if we just do it right, and we celebrate the ability of this one woman to transcend the misery and dissatisfaction of our daily lives. We aspire. We envy.
Paris and her handlers know this, are entertained by and profit from it. But if she has dared to ever pause and take a look, then she knows how empty she is on the inside. If she breaks, the lovers will mourn with her and the haters will sympathize. And for at least a brief moment, she (and we) will turn our eyes heaven-ward where answers can actually be found. Paris seeming contentment is a mask. Her discontentment, as well as yours, means something larger than life.
Posted May 11, 2007 5:45 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 17:45
All I can say is that were I engaged in a debate over whether we should practice selective sterilization as a society, my argument FOR selective sterilization would consist of two words:
"Paris Hilton"
Posted May 11, 2007 5:11 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 17:11
Paris, the time has come for you to pay for your little dirty secrete. Dump shit!
Posted May 11, 2007 5:01 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 17:01
What is it about this woman? She is like the fungus which grows on cheese - she is everywhere? Why? Are we all insane? Enough already!
Posted May 11, 2007 4:51 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 16:51
Dear Paris,
Much as I try to avoid reading about you and seeing your pictures, for honestly what have you achieved? (at least Britney could sing, and dance), you are omnipresent. You and the paparrazi and tabloid journalism has cheapened the very notion of celebrity. Not that it has anything much to begin with. You the high priestess of blankness, is an insult to the notion of beauty too for once upon a time we believed that if you are beautful, you'd be smart, or nice, or at least, dumb. You are less than dumb (at least the they are sweet)...just empty! The other day my joy at the news of your sentence of 45 days in jail caused me exuberance, of the rational kind. Finally life has meaning, for there is such a thing as fairness. 45 days is fair. Not more, but not less either. Today I am in the doldrums upon hearing news that you may not do any of that because of overcrowded jail....Dear Lord, please clear some room there and make something of dear Paris..Tinkerbell deserves better.
Me
Posted May 11, 2007 4:38 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 16:38
LA Times: Overcrowding has been a major issue in the L.A. County jail system, with some inmates, even violent ones, serving as little as 10% of their sentences. If that standard were applied to Hilton, she would serve less than a week in jail.
Police and legal experts pointed to the case of actress Michelle Rodriguez, a former star of "Lost." She was sentenced to 60 days in jail for a probation violation last year but ended up serving less than a day.
Until recently, county jailers routinely released anyone sentenced to less than 90 days as quickly as the inmate could be processed in and out of the facilities, under a policy to ease overcrowding and make room for more serious offenders.
Posted May 11, 2007 4:34 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 16:34
George Bush is now responsible for the deaths of more Iraqis than Sadaam.
He has now killed more Americans than did Osama Bin Forgotten.
He has displaced up to 4 million Iraqis who have fled to adjoining countries costing those countries billions of dollars and destabilizing the entire region.
Most of this was done with Fred Hiatt and the Washington Post cheering all the way.
Yet it is Paris Hilton who has done a bad, bad thing.
Only in America. No wonder the terrorists hate us.
Posted May 11, 2007 4:28 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 16:28
Word
Paris be straight ballin', yo!
Y'all need to recognize who dis trick be!
Tha joint ain't no thang for a ladie dat be dis classy!
Posted May 11, 2007 4:15 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 16:15
Paris, you confirm my faith. Things rise, physically, and my heart flutters and soares seeing you--the divine you, made in the image of God; and you make me believe that dead hung bodies can rise too. I love you, have faith in you, all pure and blind.
Posted May 11, 2007 4:06 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 16:06
I'd be glad to let Paris Hilton off the hook if she'd do me.
Posted May 11, 2007 4:05 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 16:05
I am saddened to see that Paris Hilton is now the subject of Washington Post editorials. Not only does she believe that she is above the law, but she has contributed absolutely nothing to society. The prime real estate of the front page should be saved for more worthy subjects and debates, while celebrity drivel such as this should be relegated to your Celebritology gossip blog.
Shame on the Post for publishing this drivel.
Posted May 11, 2007 4:03 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 16:03
Paris, here is hoping your cellmate resembles Rosie O'Donnell.
Posted May 11, 2007 3:51 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 15:51
Paris Hilton is the single best argument for universal, unisex draft policy. Of course, fatigues don't come in pink.
Posted May 11, 2007 3:42 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 15:42
Good one Elizabeth. Kind and yet appropriately critical of Paris.
Posted May 11, 2007 3:42 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 15:42
Let's hope Paris comes out of jail as a better person, and more grounded in the real world, than she was when she went in. This is probably the best thing for her. While she's in jail, though, she should do a reality show about it.
Posted May 11, 2007 3:36 PM
Posted on May 11, 2007 15:36