Responses(24)

Please tell me which faith are we talking about on this forum?
Born as a Hindu(mind u friends, thats the only way to be a Hindu. conversion in Hinduism isn't the favorite harangue), I never really fell for the obligation of the religious inheritance. My passion for science pulled me towards a space, void of any divine reasoning. And then six years back, an event turned us(two staunch non-believers) into a social placeholder for religious ambitions. We met and appreciated the knowledge and wisdom we together share and decided to bond. Oops I forgot to tell. She is a Muslim. And believe me never did we realize that these tags of religion are the ones which the majority of religious-at-heart-and-soul citizens spot to discern which ones qualify the public wrath, hatred and religious curses, and which ones deserve heaven. In a nation like India, Hindus and Muslims share nothing but extreme hatred. We weren't any lucky either. She still mourns day and night in her parent’s plight and her society tortures her worst that the Nazi camps (not physical). Everyday we go through the same practice of reaffirming our sanity of togetherness and this feeling of loneliness and helplessness of disillusioned inevitabilities eats us. I thought If I move to the west(America), I might find peace and then I can call her here and we can spend our lives in peace and under the shelter of a more tolerant society. We've panned our marriage in December and now after six years of war time struggle and most inhuman tolerance she withstood, we are so close but still we never miss upon the daily practice of mourning for the society around us isn't that oblivious of evil.

Why should I believe in any religion when all they can spread is hatred? Why should i waste my head in understanding Islam or Christianity or Judaism when none can appreciate interfaith existence and common peace?

Wither should we go. How do we convince people that our faith is our love for each other and that’s what matters to us. When we don't ask you to be a non-believer then why force us to believe something we can’t reason. What should we do?

She has two choices- either she leaves her parents and stay with me or leave me and stay with her parents. Either way the word life doesn't justify that existence. Can you imagine a state where you already know that there is no hope or ray of happiness, even a pinch that I could with my love distend into an everlasting source of inspiration? Where you know that nothing in this world can bring her back those days of ignorance of worldly worries, where happiness is an absoluteness devised by self and all other inertia to it is but foolishness.

Please tell me which faith are we talking about on this forum? Which faith can hold any significance beyond the minimum existence? Which faith can give me back by only love?

My mother silently taught me that I could have as many faiths as I needed. She has Buddhas and Russian Icons and African idols and made funny little altars all over th house to anything that seemed sacred to her that day; a newspaper photo of Coretta Scott King, baby booties, a postcard of Ireland. But she wasn't a joiner..her church was in her home.

I developed into a somewhat more frormalized polyreligionist. At 12 I had myself baptized Episcopalian because it was the church nearest my home and I wanted a place to go on Sundays like my friends. At 23 I became a Catholic following Dorothy Day and her Catholic Workers into the fight for social justice and saying the Rosary. At 35 I converted to Judaism to grow a family in the warm light of Shabbat candles and Hebrew Prayers. Now I am a pagan with an altar in my backyard who attends a Black Pentecostal church so I can jump and clap and get lost in the Spirit (REALLY good music....) It's all been good. In fact, It's all been wonderful.

But it has been sad to lose the intimacy of fellow believers when they find out that I commit theological adultery; my Jewish friends cringe at my crosses and my pentecostal friends cringe at my smudge stick). And, in case your about to suggest it, being a Unitarian is not the same as truly belonging to each of my separate congregations (like serial monogamy is not he same as polygamy.) I have been totally content in each of my spiritual homes. Until it was time to continue the journey.

I am absolutely sure that the freedom to move through faith experiences has been my salvation. But it does get lonely. Why do we have to pick just one? I have never understood that....

My mother silently taught me that I could have as many faiths as I needed. She has Buddhas and Russian Icons and African idols and made funny little altars all over th house to anything that seemed sacred to her that day; a newspaper photo of Coretta Scott King, baby booties, a postcard of Ireland. But she wasn't a joiner..her church was in her home.

I developed into a somewhat more frormalized polyreligionist. At 12 I had myself baptized Episcopalian because it was the church nearest my home and I wanted a place to go on Sundays like my friends. At 23 I became a Catholic following Dorothy Day and her Catholic Workers into the fight for social justice and saying the Rosary. At 35 I converted to Judaism to grow a family in the warm light of Shabbat candles and Hebrew Prayers. Now I am a pagan with an altar in my backyard who attends a Black Pentecostal church so I can jump and clap and get lost in the Spirit (REALLY good music....) It's all been good. In fact, It's all been wonderful.

But it has been sad to lose the intimacy of fellow believers when they find out that I commit theological adultery; my Jewish friends cringe at my crosses and my pentecostal friends cringe at my smudge stick). And, in case your about to suggest it, being a Unitarian is not the same as truly belonging to each of my separate congregations (like serial monogamy is not he same as polygamy.) I have been totally content in each of my spiritual homes. Until it was time to continue the journey.

I am absolutely sure that the freedom to move through faith experiences has been my salvation. But it does get lonely. Why do we have to pick just one? I have never understood that....

It was when I was a young man, I was asked the compelling question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I remember it being asked of me during career week in Junior High School. I recall the experience rather clearly and in the answering of the question I blurted out, "I will never be a preacher!" In retrospect, I find it interesting that I don't remember what I said I wanted to be, but I distinctly remember what I said I didn't want to be. At that particular time in my life I was living with my parents in McAlester, Oklahoma and my father had two occupations. He was a quality control engineer at a factory job and he also held a pastorate at a local church. I do not recall what was going on in my heart that day, but I'm very confident as to why I said what I said. As I grew up in church I saw the "highs" and "lows" of being a pastor of a local church. As I observed my father, I saw that being a preacher was a tough calling. Who would want to pursue such a career? Not me! I had no great view of being a pastor or a preacher of any fashion. The sacrifice seemed too great, I wanted no part of it. I told my friends I would never be a preacher of the Gospel.
But some 19 years later from that career day workshop much has changed. I was converted to Christianity on July 8th, 1992 while stationed at Fort Knox, Kentucky. I began immediately to preach on the streets of Louiseville, Kentucky and Evansville, Indiana. When I was honorably discharged from the Army, I moved back home and began attending a Free Will Baptist Church. Who would have ever thought that I would answer that call, but I did. Since that time I first answered the call to preach I have had the opportunity to have traveled and preach the Gospel these last 15 years in 44 churches, youth camps, several hospitals, jails, and nursing homes. It was during these travels that I have had the greatest privilege to meet some of our nations greatest pastors and evangelists. To think of three of these it has been a great opportunity to meet the late Dr. Adrian Rogers, (Pastor of Bellevue Baptist Church), Dr. Bailey Smith and Dr. Homer Martinez. These men ministered to me and showed me what it means to be used by God. Little did I know that once I answered the call to preach that my history is filled with preachers from the past as well. My great, great, grandfather, Wiley Bunch, born 1830 in Tennessee, was a Methodist Scriptural Exhorter. One of his five sons was Riley, which was a brush arbor preacher that traveled from Missouri to Oklahoma preaching the Gospel. It was when my Great Grandfather, Riley Bunch settled in Oklahoma that he, his wife and their 3 daughters attended the Dr. Mordecai Ham Evangelistic Campaign in McAlester, Oklahoma in 1917. (Ham was the one who Dr. Billy Graham, well known evangelist, was converted under). But who would have ever thought that my grandfather, Benjamin Smith would find his wife in a revival meeting. Yet, that is what happened. Myrtle Bunch met Benjamin in that Ham revival and the rest is history. It was through their marriage they had 9 sons and 3 daughters, one son, my father is still preaching the Gospel into his 70's. Will my son become a preacher? Who's to say, maybe God will call him as well.

When you are in a hard and continued trouble, if you do not take an extreme care, you can go into a "death corridor". In some messages of mine, I always take references from those 11 years, in which I was unemployed. I know many other persons, faced and have faced serious struggles about health, familiar, sentimental, drugs, alcoholism... and maybe you are, at this moment, in the eye of a hurricane. It would be much selfishness of my part, do not let you know which attitudes I took to face those hard years. I tell you:There is a great purpose behind any crise.

During a depression, what you think determines the quality of our day. How, in fact, I do not know, but the devil can fill our mind with bad thoughts. You can think that such thoughts are of yours, but they cannot be. I remember sometimes, when I left home to walk and to pray a little. Two exercises, for body and soul. A immense sadness upon my shoulder, and then, I stopped and looked into my mind. Jesus, I said, I know, any day of these, you are going to give me response to my troubles, and when that day to arrive, I will can count to everyone how you, Lord, gave me the job I have never had before. That sadness and those bad thoughts desappeared and so I won the battle of that day. And day after days I did so. Two attitudes to benefit mind, body and soul. To be continued

author: john Cruzue

My journey of faith took me to its logical conclusion of which I will share in a moment. I was raised a Southern Baptist, baptised, saved, and so on. I never thought about what I was taught as a child; just accepted it as truth. As I grew older and started asking the hard questions like; why would the creator of the universe need to kill his only, human son, in order that we be forgiven our sins, I began to find no one could answer that with a legitimate, logical reason. I envisioned a cosmic blood-for-sin bank that kept track of forgiveness for deposits of blood sacrifices. I then started really studying the bible, the christian religion and all its tenets (I discovered there were over 13,000 christian sects worldwide). What I came to realize was that the whole thing was about nothing. No logic could describe the "reasoning" used in the bible, or even explain why a perfect god would create a document that would lead to 13,000 variations on the theme, let alone pit one human against another on the basis of "love me or die". So, the logical conclusion to my journey is that there isn't one. I have come to realize, based on some great work in a book, Faces in the Clouds, and essays on leaving christianity on www.deconversion.com that religion is natural, but flawed. Normal, but ridiculous. We will be better as a species when we grow out of it.

[Note: I define "faith" as a hypothesis that one thinks is unfalsifiable. Atheism isn’t my faith since I don't think that the atheist hypothesis, "Supernatural authority figures don’t exist," is unfalsifiable (I would think that supernatural authorities do exist if I perceived valid evidence of them).]

I've been an atheist for most of my life, although I didn’t know about words like “atheism” until I was in high school. As a child and even now as an adult, my family has tried to get me to believe in traditional Chinese superstitions (Buddhist deities, the Chinese zodiac, alternative medicine, etc.). But I’d often ask, "Why?" or "How?" If they or anyone else couldn't provide valid evidence or logic, I wouldn't take what their claims seriously. Fortunately, my family is tolerant and never punished me or anyone else for not believing what they believe. They encouraged my questioning by attempting to answer and by saying that I was smart/good child for asking.

There was a period in my life where I experimented with being a theist, however. In seventh grade, I was depressed about not having any close friends and about my paternal grandma's and father's frequent criticisms of me. I tried praying to the Buddha of Mercy, but nothing improved and praying seemed to make me focus even more on the negative, which made me cry more. After about a week, I switched to praying to Jesus. I had heard about Jesus from someone who used to be my best friend. For about a week, I tried praying to Jesus, but the results were the same as praying to the Buddha of Mercy. I thought that either the Buddha of Mercy and Jesus didn't care or they didn't exist. Soon, I realized that I shouldn't depend on non-humans to solve problems—I, as well as other people, should be proactive. With this realization, I stopped crying and resolved to take steps in solving my problems, such as being more outgoing in order to make friends. Ever since then, I’ve never tried being a theist again. After learning about religions, cults, and superstitions from other people and courses in high school and college, I’m glad that I’m an atheist and freethinker.

My fiancé is also an atheist freethinker, although he was raised by Methodist parents. Like me, he was also permitted to ask questions and to doubt the claims of his parents and Sunday-school teachers. At one point as a child, he had convinced himself that the Easter Bunny was real, but eventually he was mature enough to understand that he had a misperception.

My fiance’s life and my life have been really good compared to most Americans’. We’re both healthy, highly educated, and middle-class/upper-middle class. Neither of our families have had divorces, and my fiancé and I probably won’t break up either. Of course, neither of us is perfect; we have problems, although nothing tragic or rare. Some of the theists’ stories include tragic events like divorce, substance abuse, financial instability, major physical injuries, teen pregnancy & motherhood, and etc. I feel sorry about the tragedies, but I don’t think they were caused by a lack of belief in any god. One of my life goals is to help people, and in order to do so, we must address the real causes of problems, as well as pursue opportunities for improvement.

I was adopted at birth, raised in an LDS home where I was lovingly taught good and righteous values. We lived by the 10 Commandmants and our own Articles of Faith. We believe we "live in the world" but not of the world. I understand that to mean we are true to our beliefs in spite of popularity. In my early 20's, I left my religion and lived almost 20 more years "of the world." I met many wonderful Christian people and gained precious insight into the way others sometimes view Mormonism. I investigated other religions and most important, I developed a very personal and deep relationship with God. I am a recovering alcoholic (20 years)and now fully realize the importance of our "Word of Wisdom", which I once mocked and many other unique teachings I rebelled against. I have learned much from the mentors in my life, most who are not LDS. However, after 17 years I made a decision to return to my church. It was not an easy process but one I believed in with all my heart. You see, I had been blessed with the divine knowledge that Joseph Smith was indeed a Prophet of God, sent here in these latter days to restore the gospel of Jesus Christ. My journey away only reinforced that. It is impossible for me to "recruit" new members as I love and respect the freedom we all have to worship freely. However, I do believe with all my heart, whomever will read The Book of Mormon, sincerely believing that God will provide an answer, will discover this truth for themselves.

I was raised in a loving family atmosphere with hugs and kisses, and hearing I love you from mom and dad. I loved my parents, 2 brothers and sister and we had a wonderful childhood. We attended church sporadically but the thought of being born again was never spoken of as we were basically taught to do your best, work hard and you will be blessed.
This plan did me well as I journeyed through life, getting married, working, having children until I reached the age of 38 and had everything I ever wanted but felt an emptyness I could not explain. I began to wake up in the middle of the night with tears in my eyes staring out my bedroom window at the full moon asking God if He was out there I wanted to know the truth. My wife who was a christian had been praying for me for 13 years and I was beginning to notice God knocking on my heart. Within a few weeks the Lord brought a man into my life who shared the truth with me that I needed to ask the Lord Jesus into my life. I bowed my head in my car by myself and simply said, "Lord, I need you." That day I became a redeemed child of God purchased by the shed blood of Jesus Christ who was now my Lord, my God who gave my His Spirit that I may know Him and learn to live for Him. God's love continues to transform me from day to day and glory to glory as I rejoice in His amazing grace and mercy that saved me from the only thing I truly deserved which is hell. Truly in the presence of the Lord is the fullness of joy and at His right hand are pleasures forevermore for Jesus alone has made my heavenly Fathers love real to me as I know my Redeemer lives and my sins have been forgiven and forgotten for their is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus and nothing can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus my Lord and Savior who makes all things work together for good to those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose which is to make me like Christ, morally perfect. If you knew me you would say no way, but if you know my Lord you would say, By the grace of God it will be done for all who are saved by grace through faith, not of ourselves, it is a gift of God not of works. Hallelujah!!!
Every heart is restless until it finds rest in God's love that is the peace that passes understanding which Jesus gives to all who come to Him and take His yoke upon them and learn from Him for Jesus is gentle and lowly of heart and in Him we find rest for our souls for His yoke is easy and His burden is light to all who will walk by faith and not by sight through them forever brighter shines His glorious light!!!

The power of Jesus I can attest to. I am an attorney and I look at the evidence. I was baptized Catholic when I was a baby. I always believed in God. When I was accepted to law school, I saw it as a sign from God. I miraculously graduated college without debt.

The fact is that after I accepted Christ into my hearts I was reunited with my birth mother.

I looked on my own. I asked others for assistance. It was only the amazing work of the trinity that enabled me to see her.

Five years ago, one of my law school alum invited me to her association’s event. There I met a Christian couple and we both thought we were networking as usual. It turned out to change my life completely. I was told nonchalantly about their church.

Next I knew, I found myself getting up one morning and driving from Maryland to Virginia to their church. It was the Holy Spirit that guided me there.

The singing brought me in and I truly felt “welcomed as a child of God.” The church I grew up in was Catholic - strict and stiff, performance-driven. This church was where I was encouraged to sing, even if it was off tune; what mattered is what came from my heart.

They encouraged me to keep returning, not out of fear, but out of love. I found myself returning and friendships were built by venturing out, for example, trying crabs for the first time which I discovered I liked.

One day, a truck driver destroyed my car while I was driving to church. I was transported immediately to the hospital.

I never thought I would need physical therapy in my life. I never thought I would have financial problems. With a law degree, I thought I would have no problems finding work.

I needed physical therapy and was left financially devastated. I prayed and asked others to pray for me. After my last follow-up exam with the doctors, I received the good news that I was accepted to an all-expenses-paid conference in the city where my mom lives.

I began to say I would do it on my own. That was when God stepped in and He poured His healing power, compassion and grace into my life.

All the details He took care of, covering the cost of the airfare, transportation to and from the airport, lodging and meals. Most importantly, He provided the translators when needed.

I plan and analyze all of the scenarios so that I can prepare. I never planned to accept Jesus into my heart, however, once I did my life dramatically changed for the better.

My faith story involves being a mystery to myself until I was forty-eight. It was then I discovered that I as an adult had a connection to the beginning, to my childhood, and that I had not been forsaken. I didn’t understand mental illness. I thought it was a lot of silliness. Until I was awakened. And now for my perseverance, as an abused child, with near death experiences, and serving in the military after being drafted in 1972, and suffering head trauma, God is revealing to me the totality and planning of lives, and that he has done it all in advance. And that all is one, a looping cycle, whereby the closer we get to the end, we're coming back to the beginning. I’d had faith, when I didn’t think I had, because nothing had gone right. Now I realize that all the pain associated with my failures, and my terrors at night … were meant to exercise … a second pair of eyes. And now my life has purpose, because I studied to be a writer before I had my nervous breakdown … and now all I want to do is write. tanata.squarespace.com

I was dropped off at church until I was twelve. My father never read the bible but swore by its message and told us to live by the good book. "You earn your bread by the sweat of your brow", he'd quote. He raised us "right", loving our country, buying American, and basically looking out for our own moral high ground as well as our backsides. He and my mother, unwittingly, taught us to manipulate our situation and control our loved ones through guilt and tears. It was wrong to have sex before marriage, hang out with people of a different race, and drink too much beer, lie, cheat, or steal. Like so many I heard a trumped-up morality and watched my life fall to pieces through alcohol abuse, domestic violence, divorce, and denial. Finally, at age 30, while in a fierce custody battle with my former wife, I had to figure out why morality was considered "good" and immorality "bad" so I started praying. A non-smoking Catholic friend of mine would take cigarette breaks with me as I tearfully sorted out my life, parenting, my marriage, and my faith. He would abide with me, walk along with me, stand with me and nothing more. Somehow his quiet dignity was what my heart longed for and after a year or so I recongized it to be Jesus. I dedicated my life to Jesus on the side of a highway on my way home from work. That was 11 years ago and God has restored my family (I did divorce but am now remarried to a lovely woman, I'd like to say its been all wonderful but we're being made anew and that hurts sometimes), redeemed my life, and is healing my soul. I have little faith in organized church but fellowship often with co-workers and friends, listen to hours of podcasts, and study the Bible and books on apologetics, christian living, and the early church incessently. I've found that as Christ said to Paul, his strength is perfected in my weakness and I hope only to exhibit the love, dignity, and generosity of Jesus.

This is how I lost my faith.

I was born into a fundamentalist family. As a child, of course, I had no reason to doubt what I was taught and eagerly accepted the faith of my father. I was naturally curious, however, and would not hesitate to ask questions. One day I asked my Sunday School teacher who wrote the Bible. He seemed uncomfortable with the question but finally answered that we really didn't know who the authors were but he insisted that we could be certain they were inspired and guided by the Holy Spirit.

I kept this answer in the back of my mind for many years and it motivated my search for truth throughout my life. I served in the church faithfully through high school and into adulthood. I taught Sunday School, led a youth group, sang gospel music, led worship and even preached a few sermons.

In my twenties my brother-in-law introduced me to the novel concept of theistic evolution. For years I had opposed the theory of evolution because it didn't agree with the creation story in Genesis and I had been taught that the Bible was the infallible Word of God. Theistic evolution was the idea that God used evolutionary forces to create the universe. However, it turned out to be a desparate attempt by evangelicals to reconcile their faith with scientific realism. It also challenged me to face the inevitable conflict between faith and fact.

As a result, I returned to that question of my youth: Who wrote the Bible? Where did it come from? After five excrutiating years of soul-searching and independent research I came to a sobering conclusion. The Bible was a religious book written by humans over hundreds of years and even its final composition was the subject of heated controversy.

This revelation was actually a huge relief to me. If the Bible was not divine then it made sense that it would be full of contradictions, discrepancies, myth, superstition, legend and religious dogma. In short, it was the product of the times and cultures it came from, not the perfect word of a perfect deity.

Inevitably this led me to question the very existence of God. After considering the arguments from both sides I now realize that no one can actually prove the existence of God. However, we cannot be completely certain that a supreme deity doesn't exist either. So, I have openly embraced a position of tenuous agnosticism. This gives me the freedom to continue asking questions about religion, science and the nature of reality. It also reinforces the fact that truth is its own reward.

One of the nagging questions that seem to stimulate debate among believers and skeptics is the definition of God. By defining God you limit him. A limited God cannot be omnipotent and a God without omnipotence is no God at all.

This paradox is the closest we will ever come to proving that God doesn't exist since you can't really prove a negative. Additionally, the differences between a physical existence and a spiritual existence are absurd unless the spiritual world is only imaginary. This is best illustrated by asking a simple question. What is God made of? If he is made of something then he is subject to physical laws just like all other matter and therefore he is not omnipotent. If he is made of nothing, then he doesn't exist because everything that exists is made of something.

Often this argument is countered by claiming that certain concepts exist that do not have physical properties like love, joy and peace. However, the difference between these concepts and God is that none of these purely human ideas are omnipotent. Furthermore they are entirely dependent on humans to define them, give them meaning and put them in context. God, on the other hand, is not supposed to have any limitations and is supposed to be the creator and sustainer of life itself.

However, as noted, the concept of God reveals its basic flaw by being both unlimited and undefined and therefore unknowable. An imperceptible idea is an inconceivable idea and we can know only what we can perceive. Since God is unknowable, for all practical purposes he does not exist.

This conclusion should convince us that religion is outmoded. It is actually myth disguised as truth and as such has become a liability rather than an asset. The future of humanity depends on our ability to shake off the tyranny of ignorance and work together to forge a bright new future without myth and superstition. We owe it to our descendents to leave them a world based on the reality of truth. It's the least we can do.

There are three things that I know, and that I know I will never prove. One of them is that if God wanted to make faith easy God would have made us obedient and without curiosity. God chose to make faith a choice, not a fact. If faith were a fact there would be no value in believing.

The second thing I know is that God's will is both fathomable and unfathomable. Some years ago I heard of a toddler that got caught in a tornado and was deposited in a tree, unharmed, still in his crib. His family said that their prayers kept the child safe. I thought that God wasn't going to decide the child's fate by democratic processes, but that if the baby had died, God would have given the family strength to recover.

The best times in my life have been when I had to let go of my will, and let God's unfathomable will take over. When I am up aginst a wall and really confused, I've learned to ask for guidance and trust what comes up. At that point God's will becomes fathomable.

The third thing I know is that God is so infinite that no human being can comprehend the immensity. God must have an infinite way of expressing divinity to the myriad of people on this earth, thus the infinite diversity of religion and spirituality. This theology we humans use is both divinely and politically inspired. History shows that religion is intrinsectly tied to power, and has been a tool for good and bad, for God and evil, and will probably continue this way for eternity.

Despite this, I have to remember the sentiment of Anne Frank, and how she died still believing that people are basically good. If I ever dispare of that, I will loose my connection to God and God's will. And that, I feel, is truly the essence of sin and evil.

My faith is with God:

Since age three, I have been hearing voices in my mind; have dreams of personal, future events and had a Near Death Experience. Through these experiences, I have had my life saved numerous times, and had been guided through hints, to meet and marry my true love; soul mate, Rob.

As wonderful as all this may seem so far, Rob and I did not meet each other until we both had two marriages behind us, and were in our forties!

Here's how we met: In 1994, I placed an ad in the Personals section of a newspaper, in Las Vegas, Nevada. Although many men (including Rob) responded, Rob was the only man I wanted to be with. During one of Rob's and my first few dates together, was when I realized that all the paranormal-type messages I had received during my life, brought me to that very moment in time; that Rob was the man I had been in search of, for all those years. The knowing was so overwhelming for me, that I could never explain any of it to Rob.

After two months of our dating, I moved in with him at his house. A year later, we married. While we were still newlyweds, Rob passed. However, I've really never been apart from Rob. Since Rob's passing, he's come to me in several different paranormal forms: As being a mist by my side; talking to me in his same, familiar voice; as being a big, bright star in the sky; appearing to me with wearing new clothes, and in so many other ways. He somehow manages to have our wedding song be playing on the radio station I'd be listening to at the exact same time of when I'd also be feeling the most distressed.

On Easter Sunday, 1998-seven months since Rob had passed, while I was at the his house (that I abandoned, due to its location), inserting the key into the lock on the front door (to check on things, inside), a strong, sweet floral scent caught my full attention to notice some Lilies of the Valley flowers that had bloomed in one of the flower beds that Rob had built. Although I had planted several different types of flower seeds in both Rob's flower beds during the summer of 1997, it was only those flowers that grew, on that day, and without having been watered since Rob's passing-over seven months!

The alarm on the wrist watch Rob wore for work, still sounds off at the same time, every day, over nine years since his passing, with the same, original battery Rob had put in his watch!

Rob had given me a special, precious gift-an imprint of his soul on my bedroom window's screen as proof of his visiting me one very early morning, when he then touched my body the way I had touched his, immediately after he passed.

Like the words to the wedding song Rob and I left to fate to choose for us implies, the love Rob and I feel for each other, will surely last forever.

I grew up in rural churches in Georgia where the preachers sweated and hollered and the fear of the Devil was thrust upon us. The encapsuled congregations who followed one version of the Bible one way and another the other way satisfied a small body of people scattered throughout the South.
Enter radio and then tv. Now the Pat Robertsons and Jerry Falwells and James Dobsons are spreading a poison among well meaning, faithful people--many of my family not least among them.
The current erosion of the separation between church and state can be the downfall of the United States. Newswoman Dorothy Thompson was in Germany in the 30s; her biography "American Cassandra" describes her efforts to get the attention of the US about Germany. Her husband Sinclair Lewis wrote a novel on the subject "It Can't Happen Here" about the growth of fascism. More recently, a writer has written a book entitled "It Is Happening Here."
I imbibed extreme right wing fundmentalist theology with my mothers's milk and I know who is leading Christians astray and how evangelists rank in millions..

Whoever wrote the recent book "Christian Fascism" was right on the money.
Soon after the Bible was translated into English in the 16th century, a Jesuit visited London and observed that, lacking an educated interpreter of the Bible, the Bible would come to lose its value to the Church. That has come to pass. Half educated, self serving evangelists in silk suits are preying upon good peole who are being led by charlatans and dangerously unbalanced preachers.
I consider that the single greatest threat of the US.

Church going, prayers at meals, and prayers at bed time were very much a part of my parents' family traditions. In college I had a semester of Old Testament and a semester of New Testament in the first year, in the junior year I had a semester of Christian ethics the first semester and Christian philosophy in the second. We had chapel three times a week and vespers nightly. Like all good English graduate students, I became an Episcopalian my first year in graduate school and for the next twent years was a devout member: altar guild, choir, sponsor to undergraduates, Daughters of the King, one of the first two licensed women lay readers in my Diocese, frequent sepaker at churches regarding women in religion, marched to support ordination, the first eucharist by a woman was celebrated in my house in 1976--the first by a woman in the southern Provence--was attacked in the public press. I taught Old and New Testaments as literture at a university and completed the four-year education for ministry course.

But no more. I made the mistake of becoming a part of a women's movement, and before I realized it, the centrality of the Eucharist, the solemn poetry and soaring music of the Book of Common Prayer, the sustenance of worship in my life had been replaced by movements and causes. The
worship that strengthened many of us to go forth and risk our very lives for integration and equal rights has become
a jam session. Never mind gay bishops or women priests, if the Anglican Communion--most particularly the American church--became churches again rather than adjuncts to liberal politics, the Church in the World would do a world of good for people who yearn for worship: "Strengthen for service, Lord" as the hymn says. Via Media brought the Anglican Communion along for centuries but extremes can ultimatley destroy the foundation of centuries of Anglican worship.

WHEN I FIRST STARTED W JESUS AND FOLLOWING HIS TRAVELS THROGH MY LIFE,THE 1ST TIME MY MOTHER ASKED ME TO GO TO CHURCH THAT SAT NIGHT IN NOV.1986.I WAS DIRTY FROM GREASE ON ME AND I SMOKED HEAVILY & I WAS A DRUNKERD SO I TOLD MY MOTHER THAT I WOULD WENT AND AS SOON AS COME IN THE DOOR THE PREACHER SAID THIS IS YOUR NIGHT SIT RIGHT THERE.HE WENT THOURGH THE ENTIRE SERVICE THEN HE ASKED ME TO COME UP AND I WAS SCARED ANYHOW I GOT UP AND HE PUT A TOWEL AROUND MY NECK AND STARTED POURING HOLY OIL ALL OVER HEAD UNTIL IT WAS ALL OVER ME AND THE FLOOR AND HE PRAYED AND SAID SOME WORDS IN THE HOLY LANUAGE AND THEN HE SAID TONIGHT YOU ARE GOING TO BE DELIVERED FROM SMOKING AND ALCOHOL AND DRUG'S AND WHEN I WALKED OUT OF THERE I WAS BAPTISED IN AN OLD RED WATER FROG POND.AND WHEN I COME OUT OF THE WATER I HAD NEVER FELT CLEANER IN MY WHOLE LIFE.I HAVE NEVER FORGOTTEN THE FEELING THAT I WAS GIVEN THAT DAY.THAT NIGHT I WAS IN BED I THINK I WAS ASLEEP BUT I SEEN A FIGURE BESIDE ME THAT NIGHT WATCHING OVER ME AS HE HELD MY HAND.THE NEXT MORNING I REALIZED THAT I HAD BEEN CRYING ALL NIGHT LONG BUT I WAS FRESH AS THE MORNING DEW.WHEN I GOT BACK IN MY TRUCK AND I STARTED DOWN THE ROAD I TOLD EVERYONE THAT I COULD ABOUT WHAT "GOD" DID FOR ME.ALL THE TIME I WAS ON THE ROAD THE LORD KEPT ME SAFE. I GUESS HE HAS DONE THAT ALL OF MY LIFE HE SHOWED ME SOMETHING WHEN I WAS VISITING MY MY MOTHER IN THE OLD HOUSE SHE AND I USED TO LIVE IN WHEN I GOT THERE IN MEEKER,OKLA THAT NIGHT I WALKED IN I WAS DRUNK AND SHE WAS HAVING A CHURCH MEETING IN THE HOUSE.WHEN I WALKED IN I TOKE ABOUT 4 STEPS I STOPPED DEAD IN MY TRACKS AND THE FLOOR OPENED UP I SEEN HELL AND ALL THAT IT HAD TO OFFER AND THEN I LOOKED UP TOWARD THE STAIR CASE I SEEN THE GATES OF HEAVEN AND ALL OF THE GLORSE COLOR'S AND GOD'S GLORY MOM TURNED AND SAID HE IS IN A TRANCE AND I UTTERED A WORD IN ANKNOWN TONGUE.AND TO THIS DAY I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SAID.SURE WHEN I WALKED IN THE DOOR I WAS DRUNK BUT WHAT I SAW SURE SOBBERED ME UP QUICK.EVEN WHEN I WAS ON THE ROAD I WAS PROTECTED BECAUCE ONE NIGHT I WAS READING MY BIBLE AND IT SEEM THAT THE SIDE OF MY TRUCK TURNED INTO A BIG SCREEN AND I SEEN A BUNCH OF DARK SMOKE AND AS IF SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO PULL ME THROUGH THE SCREEN.AND ALL OF THE TIME THIS WAS GOING ON I SMELLED SOMETHING THAT STUNK SO BAD I COULD NOT BREATHE SO I FIGGERED IT WAS THE DEVIL.AGAIN WHEN I WAS GOING THRU TENN I SAW SOMETHING CHASING ME I AT THE BACK OF MY TRUCK THE OTHER AT THE LEFT FRONT THEIR EYES WAS AS BLOOD THEY STOOD 2 TIMES BIGGER THAN A GREAT DANE I LOOKED DOWN THEY WERE KEEPING UP SO WENT FASTER AND THEY BOTH WERE RIGHT THERE W/ME.THEN IN NOV,14.1988 I WAS IN ALA AND 5:14 IN THE MORNING I STARTED TO GET OUT OF MY TRUCK AND I SEEN A DARK FOG AND I SMELLED THE SAME SMELL THE AS I DID BEFORE AND A VOICE CAME FROM THE FOG SAYING "I GOT YOU NOW" AND I TURNED AS I WAS GETTING OUT NO YOU DON'T "IN THE NAME OF JESUS GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN" I TOOK 2 STEPS FROM THE TRUCK I WAS HIT BY A POLICE CAR I WAS HUNG UP THE STUFF ON TOP OF HIS CAR MY LEGS STRIGHT UO AND I SEEN MY GARUDIAN ANGEL THAT MOURNING FOR I WAS SAVED FROM DEATH.LATER I WENT TO GET LOADED AND I HAD PARRED OUT 2 TIMES WHILE I WAS DRIVING AND BOTH TIMES THERE WAS NO ONE HURT AND NEITHER WAS I I PASSED OUT ON THE BRIDGE AROUND TULSA ON 244 AND THE TRUCK STOPPED RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WHITE AND YELLOW LINES.WHEN I WENT FOR SURGERY IN JAN.89.WHEN I STARED DRIVING I DIDN'T FEEL AS IF I WAS DRIVING THE ONLY THING I REMEMBER WAS LAUGHING ALL THE WAY OKC AND THERE WAS 3 ANGEL'S IN THAT PICKUP W/ME.WHEN I GOT TO THE VA I WAS OUT THE TRUCK WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AND GAURD'S COME OUT AND BROUGHT ME IN WHEN I WOKE UP 4 DAYS LATER IT WAS ALL OVER I HAB BRAIN SUGERY.ALTHOUGH I AM A HUMAN AND PRONE TO SIN AND I KNOW THAT GOD IS STILL W/ME.I CAN STILL FALL BACK INTO SIN BUT I KNOW I CAN BE A FORGIVEN SINNER.I HOPE THAT ALL OF THIS CAN HELP SOMEONE IN THEIR LIVE'S SO THAT THEY CAN FIND THE FRGIVEN GOD THAT I SERVE,AND MAKE HIM YOUR SAVIOR.PRAISE THE LORD I'M NO MUCH ON PARAGRAPH'S OS SPELLING THANK YOU FOR THIS CHANCE TO TASTFY TO SOME IN NEED OF "JESUS"....

My grandfather was a 1911 immigrant to the U.S. and an orthodox rabbi. My father rebelled into agnosticism. I received at home a strong Jewish cultural education not accompanied by synagogue membership.

In 1961 I entered Kenyon College, an Episcopal-connected school in Ohio, I had several friends who were pre-divinity students. They tended to ask “what do the Jews think about X?” I knew my parents’ beliefs but little of more typical Jewish beliefs. Being a good student, I went to the college library to find out. When my questions got advanced, the college librarian sent me to the divinity school librarian - who in turn sent me to the Professor of Old Testament at Bexley Hall divinity school, the Rev. Richard Henshaw. I audited his some of his Old Testament courses for Episcopal divinity students. By the time I emerged from college in 1964, I’d become a believing orthodox Jew. But I had a strong interest and background in the Christianity around me, and I’ve been an active attendee (nonmember) in a nearby Church wherever I’ve lived.

By 1976, I’d had an orthodox Jewish marriage end in divorce, and was too badly burned to try marriage again for some time. When I remarried in 1983, my present wife and I had children by former marriages whose religious identity was fixed, and no plans for more children, so the fact that she was a Protestant seemed less important to me than her significant religious knowledge and interests. (Among her ancestors was one of the first Mayflower passengers to be run out of Plymouth Colony as a heretic.) We simply joined a Reform Temple (she doesn’t speak Hebrew) and agreed that we’d both be very active in both the Temple and her Church (Presbyterian-USA school years, American Baptist at our summer home.)

She’d started teaching college physics, I started teaching mathematics, we met in computer science. When we retired, I started writing (at her urging) on interfaith, cross-cultural, and value-forming experiences. More recently, we realized that Americans simply cannot afford to treat our local Muslims as strangers or remain ignorant about them, so we started attending our neighborhood Mosque as well. We bring along guests from synagogues and churches whenever we can get them to come. My primary impression of the mosque is that it reminds me very much of my immigrant grandfather’s synagogue: a large variety of immigrants, languages, costumes, and customs, but very interesting and friendly people who are learning about America very quickly and have a lot of values and stories in common with the rest of us.

I’ll urge my readers, as well as my friends: take the time to go visit the nearest mosque.

Edward Ordman, Professor Emeritus, University of Memphis, Tennessee

I have seen Jesus. In 1996 I had Lymphoblastic Lukemia which I am cured of now. It took 3 treatmants. The first was light, didnt work. The second was heaviest which meant I had to had to have a bone marrow transplant, unrelated at that.No cell matches in family. Half way between the first treatment and the second treatment, not on any drugs, I went to sleep one evening in the hospital bed and I died for a time.I became aware of being in a Garden,in the presence of Jesus and 2 angels. A feeling of ultimate peace was felt in his presence. I asked 3 questions and in his voice of utter authority he gave me his answer and then I suddenly found myself on a device floating in the midst of a city where the top or the bottom could not be seen. As quickly as all this happened I suddenly came to and took in a deep breath to find a Nurse over me giving me oxygen for I had not been brething when she came in and for several minutes when she was there.You can imagine how deep my faith is now. You can imagine how hard it is to live in this world when you have seen perfection.

I grew up in an era where going to Sunday School and church was not an option; it was mandatory. Me, my siblings and parents piled into the car every Sunday and headed off to God's house to worship and savor his presence. All that changed when I turned 18 years old. I thought that I didn't need God; that I could take control of my life. That was the worst mistake of my life. I made one big mess after another. I got pregnant without benefit of marriage, had a beautiful daughter that I was expected to raise by myself. Without being prepared, I made a lot of mistakes and was not the best mother. I ended up marrying a man who wasn't right for me and that ended in a disaster and heartache. My dissappointments caused me to turn back to God and put my trust in Him and His promises. Today, God is the head of my life and my faith reaches out to Him everyday. Jesus is my Lord and advocate who makes intercession for me, even though I am not deserving. I cannot make it in this world or face obstacles without the grace of God indwelling inside me. He is my source of love, power, knowledge and wisdom, the keys to a purposeful life. My expectations are in Christ, and Him alone. I am happy and blessed to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Now, instead of being beset by failures; my faith is propelling me to accomplish successful and bold things , all to the glory of God.

A MUSLIM IN A MONASTERY
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Mohammad Ali SALIH

I recently spent a weekend in a monastery as part of my efforts, after 9/11, to study Christianity because of the increasing tensions between Islam and the West and because of my sadness and anger as I saw the US, the greatest country in history, engulfed in an unimaginable fear and launched a bitter campaign that scared both Christians and Muslims, in the US and in other parts of the world.
But, I faced another type of fear at the Holy Cross Abbey, a Catholic monastery sheltered by the Blue Ridge mountains in the Shenandoah valley in Virginia, about 60 miles west of Washington. I was afraid of “religion mixing”; of my extreme Muslim brothers who would read this and say my visit was out of bounds; and of “that look” from some people at the monastery when they noticed my foreign accent, found that I was a Muslim and asked me the dreadful question: “Where are you from?”
But for about 40 years, since I saw “The Sound of Music” movie for the first time, I had been fascinated by monasteries and had been curious about the lives of monks and nuns inside them. Ten years later while visiting Salzburg , Austria , I saw the hills that were indeed “alive with the sound of music,” as Maria (played by Julie Andrews) sang at the beginning of the film. I also visited Nonnberg Convent where Maria was a nun and later married Captain Georg von Trapp.
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When I arrived at the Virginia monastery, the monk in charge of the guest house, whispering and moving slowly, showed me my simple but elegant room, one out of 15. He said they were all booked in advance, “except one room we always leave for an unexpected visitor, as part of an old European tradition of hospitality.” The rooms had no keys (locked only from inside), telephones or televisions. Loud music was not allowed and cell phones were only to be used outside the building.
“Dinner” (their word for lunch) and “supper” (their word for dinner) were served promptly at 12:00 and 6:25 respectively and guests were warned in advance: “If you are arriving at 6:30, please have dinner beforehand.” The dining hall was simple but elegant, meals were vegetarian and guests helped themselves, cleaned afterwards and set tables for the following meal. The meals’ cost was part of the room charge, but there was no room charge, only “offering” to be put in an empty envelope in each room.
I was overwhelmed by the complete silence. From 3:00 pm Friday until 3:00 pm Sunday, I didn’t talk -- except for a secluded 30 minute meeting with a priest, whispered greetings and small talk, like requests in the dinning hall to pass the salt and pepper.
My visit coincided with Ramadan, the Muslims’ fasting month. My fasting added to the solitude and silence. Also the ten daily prayers, five Christian (in the church) and five Muslim (in my room):
“Vigils” at 3:30 am; “Fajr (dawn) at 5:00; “Lauds” at 7:00; “Zohr” (afternoon) at 1:00 pm; “Midday” at 2:00; “Asr” (evening) at 4:00; “Vespers” at 5:30; “Maghrib” (sunset) at 6:55; “Compline” at 7:30; and Isha’a (night) at 8:30.
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During the Sunday service I was sprinkled with the holy water as I chanted “Cleanse us Lord from all our sins, wash us, and we shall be clean as new snow.” I declared: “We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen.”
I repeated “Alleluia” many times. And the Psalm was: “The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring for ever.”
I was going to try the Communion (bread and wine that symbolize Jesus’ body and blood), but the hymns book excluded non-Catholics, let alone Muslims.
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Father Mark, a senior monk, and I talked for thirty minutes – very quietly -- about what united and what separated Christianity and Islam. He said, “We worship the same God … There are extreme Muslims, and, yes, there are extreme Christians too; we call them ‘fundamentalists.’ ” He lamented about the current atmosphere of fear, violence and war, and said, “I too get scared when I read the newspaper in the morning. But there is nothing we can do here except to pray.” When we stood up to say goodbye, he promised, “I will put your name on the bulletin board and ask the monks to pray for you.”
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It's my belief that some people who have faith worked very hard to get it through study and introspection. I think others are simply given deep faith as a gift. That happened to me as I sat on a big rock in the woods near a Trappist monastery in Missouri 14 years ago. A friend and I had gone there for a weekend retreat of silence. My purpose was to find guidance about my desire to become a parent. I was single then and I was torn about whether it was the right thing to do for the child. In a drizzling rain, I found myself talking to God out loud, promising that I would accept whatever happened. And I truly believed that I would. I left that monastery in peace. Six months later, I was allowed to adopt a baby girl. In the years since, my husband has had several serious health crises and, through them all, I was able to imagine myself back on that rock and I could again tell God that I would accept whatever happened. One day, my faith will truly be put to the test when the outcome is sad. I will look for that rock again.

I was raised with no spiritual guidance from my parents. Public school taught me the naturalist approach. When I was 8, I began to doubt the credibility of evolution because of the ridiculous claim as to where rock layers come from. At 23 I still believed that evolution was a reasonable explanation for the origins of life. Then I was asked, "What evidence convinced you of evolution?" I looked it up, there is no supporting evidence, and found that evolution is the exact opposite of science. I had been duped into the religious cult of evolutionism. When I distanced myself and began the long deprogramming, I began the search for the truth.

The Bible says if you'll seek God, you'll find Him. I sought God, and He rescued me even though I didn't know I needed rescuing. I didn't realize that God is disgusted by every lie I've told, every song I've downloaded without paying, every time I've used His name loosely, and He goes so far to say, "If you look with lust, you're guilty of adultery already in your heart." And “He that hates his fellow man is a murderer at heart.” Thank God for the atoning work of Jesus Christ; for He took my punishment on Himself and attributed His righteousness to my sake, so that I can 'put on Righteousness, and it has clothed me, and my judgment will be as a King.' -Job 29:14

It is now my life’s work to blot the cult of evolutionism from the earth, so that it will only be a memory used in psychology classes for examination of methods of brainwashing.

I was a captive of the Devil (2 Tim 2:26), but my ransom has been paid and I am free to worship God. (1 Cor 6:20)