A substantial majority of Americans favor marriage or civil unions. Growing numbers of church members favor recognition of gay marriage, support civil rights for gays, and object to discrimination against gays in the workplace. It is no wonder that these tens of millions of church members feel increasingly comfortable with clergy who are in committed faithful relations, whether heterosexual or same sex. It is no wonder they support their religious leaders. Prejudice and discrimination are irreconcilable with the religious values of most Americans.

And a “Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell” policy that is punitive when such relationships become public does little to address the values that underlie the growing acceptance of same sex relationships. For me as a Jew, a people too often forced by religious prejudice and coercion to pretend to be what we were not, such pretense is utterly unacceptable.

This is not to say that those who hold such views wish to impose them on others. Rather, they want, as the ELCA vote represents, to change their own church policy. Indeed, in a notable finding last summer, the number of Americans supporting gay marriage increases by 12% if they are assured that no church will be FORCED to perform such ceremonies. (See the Center for American Values 2006 survey).

We have reached a point in American society where the obvious is clear: neither my marriage nor anyone else’s is threatened by two loving individuals of the same sex. And it is increasingly difficult for religious leaders to envision that the loving God of the Universe does not welcome such faithful relationships. For that reason the ELCA action is fully understandable, one that I believe God cherishes, and therefore one that will, denomination by denomination, become the welcome norm in religious life.