The Faith Club

Discussing religion with someone of another faith, even a close friend, is never easy, which may be why we so rarely venture beyond the superficial when we attempt it. The great value of The Faith Club is that its authors refuse to minimize the challenges of engaging in personal interfaith discussions and that, ultimately, they succeed in showing us why the effort is worthwhile.

It's natural to retreat when we find ourselves talking about faith with those who have different beliefs. Fearful of offending each other, we often don't talk about the real issues that divide us. The conversations become overly polite and careful, and end up being nothing more than finger food at a banquet. They make people feel good about themselves and imagine they are reaching out, but do little to solve the problems that exist among those of different faith traditions.

Chipping away at those problems is one of the aims of On Faith, so it seemed appropriate to launch our weekly reviews of religious and spiritual books with a review of The Faith Club.

The book was an accident -- the story of three women, Ranya Idliby, a Muslim, Suzanne Oliver, a Christian, and Priscilla Warner, a Jew, who got together to write a childrens book about their three religions. They ended up spending several years together exploring each other's faith. It was not always easy. There were arguments, hurt feelings, tensions, and difficult moments during which misunderstandings and resentments almost won. But they stuck it out and eventually decided to write a book about their own experiences together, rather than the children’s book.

It was the right decision. The result is an easy introduction to what Muslims, Jews and Christians believe, how those beliefs influence the ethics, morals, and values of individual. So many people who try to study religion, and I am one, delve into the heaviest books, seeking intellectual explanations for religion and spirituality. What really works about this book is that it allows us to hear how faith plays out for three real people thrust into a situation where they have to explain themselves to each other.

Idliby, Oliver and Warner come across as intelligent, articulate and caring people, ut they also speak to each other in ways that most of us would never dare. What they have done is truly courageous, confronting each other with the greatest respect about the things that each holds dearest. How much more intimate with a person can you get than to explore that persons religious beliefs?

The book is a terrific read. You can’t help but get wrapped up in their personal stories and by the end you feel as if you have been through the experience with them. It is also a wonderful guide for those who genuinely want to try to understand faith traditions other than their own and still have friends they cherish at the end.

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David G.:

Thanks for the review--I want to read this book. Let me point out one part that struck me. It was this sentence: "How much more intimate with a person can you get than to explore that person's religious beliefs?" I am an instructor of East Asian history. When I was younger, a Japanese friend pointed out to me that when Westerners get really, really serious, it's always because they're talking about their religion. He contrasted this with Japan (and I believe it also goes for China), where other experiences would be the most intensely personal ones. While he didn't spell these out, my impression is that they would pertain to family--including a sense that dead relatives are still watching us--and friendships.

Even as the three women in "The Faith Club" may disagree on various things, they share the Western--or at least, Western/Middle Eastern--view that religion, relations with a God or gods, is what we're ultimately about. I agree that these women's effort to explore each others' religions is very important. More broadly, though, if our quest is to understand and appreciate all of the major cultures on the globe, it's also good to realize that not all cultures share the very orientation toward religion, at least in the sense of a set of doctrines presented in a holy book and taught by a holy wo/man in a holy local building. On the contrary, some people, like my Chinese wife, early in life acquire a strong sense that morals are important and that life is worthwhile without gaining that outlook through specifically religious training.

None of this is to criticize what our three women have done. An intellectual history professor of mine used to speak of "scrappy tolerance"--a willingness to listen others, but also to one's own gut reactions--and from everything I've read, "The Faith Club" nicely exemplifies that.

c cook:

Could it be that George Bush, not in his infinate wisdom, but his stubbornness in what he feels is his cause, will in a hundred years be known as this centeries greatest president? I think its possible.If his actions have opened up a world wide discussion that leads to a better understanding and eventual ecceptance of each others beliefs even I will jump on his band wagon.Maybe God does work in mysterious ways.this site is great.Its apart of what I think will be the worlds greatest dialog.I`m so full of questions,but I know by now you can tell I am uneducated.I think theres going to be a lot of us out here.Yes,even the poor and uneducated have computors,I got mine at the Goodwill,and no we don`t just us them to play games.Please,I beg you,don`t try to impress us with big words and hard to understand quotes.We tend to skip over that which we do not understand.Give your knowledge in away that we too can understand.Thank you.Now back to my question.Do you think the worlds religions can learn to live side by side in peace or does our books of faith forbid it?

Susan:

The Faith Club dares to go where most fear to tread. While it is an interesting, compelling story about how three women explain and confront their faiths, it is equally a memoir about how these women developed a deep and committed friendship using religion as their common ground.

djg:

A common error in the discourse on belief, religion and tribal ritual is to confuse the terms religion and faith.
I have and practice a religion, but it has nothing to do with faith, and little to do with belief. It is part of my inheritance - a literature, a series of practices and tribal rituals I share with a few millions of my other Earthlings. I enjoy how the rituals of the liturgical year nicely fit with the geological year - a source of joy and comfort to this Earthling because it acknowledges how my planet spins in its solar system - joy and comfort enhanced for the sharing.
My belief that the Earth will spin 'round its axis and 'round its sun is a kind of faith - but its faith based on an empirical method no different, if perhaps a bit less rigorous, than so-called "Science".
When we speak of "faith" - we must realize this is something different from "religion" - although it may be intimately tied up with it - and our modern "Science" is not the opposite of *faith*, but another manifestation of it. Our faith in the results empirical methods is justly strong, but has been shaken in the past and will be shaken again. It stands on faith.
My delight in engaging in and sharing the rituals of my tribal inheritance have nothing to do with belief beyond the belief that it is delightful. The tribal literature is also a delight - its keen psychological insight is endlessly fascinating and edifying. Its legends of a sentient super-being are powerful in many ways - including highly toxic ways - and it is part of the responsibility that comes with this delight to try to mitigate that toxicity... and that is not faith, that is simply life.

David Beadles:

Most timely and important issue that the world should address at this time. The Western and Middle East are torn apart largley do to peoples understanding of what their God would want for their life and their nation and universal calling.

Although their intentions may in their eyes be lofty, as a result of a restricted perspective, selfish and/or one sided approach brings disaster.

Humankind by nature is selfish, perhaps as a result of the survival instinct as an individual and as a species. Civilization has taught us that we must relinquish this selfcenterness for the survival and prosperity of all.

The next step for huamankind is not only in feeding, clothing and caring for all world citizns, but cultural acceptance of all nations for all spiritual commitments and not let our approach be better or superior to our neighbors.

Victoria:

There are so many different flavors of humans in this world, and so many ways that we subdivide ourselves into smaller and smaller factions. Thanks for the opportunity to create some unity and tolerance. I look forward to some spirited and intelligent conversations to help me understand different philosophies and grow in my own tolerance.
Let the cooler heads prevail and peace to all.

isobel:

Agree that religion keeps people apart, the article to which we are responding fails to even consider how others, Buddhists or Jains, Hindus, or seculars enjoy and give thanks.

GA_Atheist:

Eric:
"the more we cannot help but realize that all of us are SO much alike....."

Yes, but unfortunately religion IS the big difference that keeps everyone apart.

GA_Atheist:

Annette:
"I want to share what I've learnt and that is to live with joy and compassion. No person can convince another to change or adopt a faith anyway - that only happens through people's hearts and free will."

I treat people/animals with compassion as well, but I don't need a book/religion to do so.

"Our beliefs are central to our identities but in listening to others, they can and do change. Life is, and should be, a challenge, and what greater gift to learn about the truth of others"

It's great that everyone wants to learn about everyone elses religion (including me), but the problem is that each one (if they go by THEIR book)" believes his/her religion is the ONLY true religion.
That being said, they believe that the other person is going to "hell."
So you may say, "Oh, so that's what you believe..."
Then in your head you're thinking, "too bad you're going to hell"

ERIC:

It is ALWAYS a good idea to find out what matters to other people, what motivates them, and what they believe in. We are all the better for the increasing of mutual understanding. Plus, the more we talk, the more we cannot help but realize that all of us are SO much alike.....

David J. Fahey:

I think, The Faith Club, is an excellent idea. The world could use a little positive discussion on the nature of our existence and our individual role in the larger picture.
Without doubt, religious faith is a very sharp double edged sword. On one side, as the saying goes, it can move mountains. On the other side, it can destroy mountains.
Faith is a subject of infinite viewpoints, experiences. I don't not pretend to have a monopoly on truth, something all the worlds religions could do without. But too many people confuse faith, with worship. There are too many names for the same thing. I am wiiling to listen and learn about any faith that does not promote violence and ignorance. It is a wonderful subject for conversation because there are so many different perspectives and ideas and personal stories of discovery. I have always been very interested in the existence of some form of creator, and the interplay between the creator and my own existence. I enjoy philosophy and intellectual discussion.
What is neccessary for calm intelligent discourse is a willingness to truely listen without mentally interjecting our fears and predujdices. No easy task when your dealing with a subject so passion filled.
There is a great quote by Herbert Spencer; "There is a bar against all knowledge, and that bar is contempt without prior investigation."
When religion or faith is concerned, this is a tall order due to strong emotions associated with differing faiths.
But, I think we make too much of one faith or the other. I think spirituality is inate in human nature and doesn't require much more than respect for others and their opinions, and to treat others as you yourself would be treated. In essence, The Golden Rule.
For far too many centuries, including the 21st, religion has used faith as a means of governing the man, not the man's spirit.
So many of the worlds religions strive for the same end, (to know god) but simply use different means to arrive at that end.

Saw Sally on "Hard Ball" with Chris Matthews. Inspired by "On Faith". Have posted a link to both "On Faith" and "The Faith Club" on my blog which that brings ALL things spiritual on to one site including the free release of my e-book.

You've created a valuable and much needed format for open exchange and the advancement of inclusiveness. Bravo!!

Annette:

I will certainly be reading this book - thank you! I agree that we find it very difficult to be authentic about what and why we believe what we do. We often don't want to acknowledge it to ourselves, first and foremost; it seems such a scary journey in our post-modern, consumer society.

Yet exploring the differences and similarities is wonderful, and over the past fours years as I've ventured on my own spiritual journey (I am now a committed Anglican) I've just loved listening to other's stories when there's the time and space to ask "why do you believe that?" "how did you come to that conclusion?"

To atheists and agnostics, if you profess to have any faith, you are seen as 'preaching', which saddens me. I want to share what I've learnt and that is to live with joy and compassion. No person can convince another to change or adopt a faith anyway - that only happens through people's hearts and free will.

Our beliefs are central to our identities but in listening to others, they can and do change. Life is, and should be, a challenge, and what greater gift to learn about the truth of others.

Annette

Don Benson:

Probably the most important view in this arena is presented in the small book titled Systems Sensitive Leadership (second edition) by Mike Armout and Don Browning.

Every major tradition has developed over time, containing within it a range of world views. This range of views supports each of us as individually we develop within the tradition from primative childhood to mature adulthood (even though some of us get older without growing up). Some of these views included that the world is
- capricious and uncertain, threatening my existence at any moment
- ruled by unseen forces of good an evil that control our well-being
- a dog-eat-dog place with only the tough survive
- governed by timeless principles and eternal absolutes
- teeming with ulimited potential for personal success and fulfillment
- so interdependent that every life-form and individual is a cherished treasure
- a vast network of complex, often paradoxical relationships where ever-changing realities demand holistic approaches to life

Inter-religious dialogue is a great and necessary start and manifests out of one of these world views. Engaging in intra-religious dialogue, within our own tradition is the challenge. Can we authentically honor, understand and constructively engage with the other and their different world view? Particularly when they behave in ways that we find repulsive?

Projecting religion as the primary framework for making meaning of fundamental, personal issues that develop out of individual life conditions and the stages of individual and cultural development speaks more about the speaker than we care to acknowledge.

Don

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On Faith is an interactive conversation on religion moderated by Newsweek Editor Jon Meacham and Sally Quinn of The Washington Post. It is produced jointly by Newsweek and washingtonpost.com, as is PostGlobal, a conversation on international affairs. Please send your comments, questions and suggestions for On Faith to David Waters, its producer.